Like a father

After sitting for a long time without talking, Xiao San opened his mouth and said to Yue Zhian: "Can you take me across the mountain road? I want to go home and see. "

Yue Zhian looked at both of us, asking for our opinions. I looked at the rogue and nodded, and Yue Zhian also went to drive, while me and the rogue will go with him. We are afraid that Xiao San will do something irrational right now, so we do not dare to let him go alone.

Xue'er and Fei Zi left Li Tao at home. Li Tao didn't have any expression on his face because of his father's death, I don't know if he was happy or sad, but I think Li Tao's tiny heart must be extremely hateful towards this father.

He blankly sat on the shabby chair, and without saying a word, he walked to the room that Li Tao was in last time, and then walked to another room. This room was even more dilapidated, with a bamboo bed, a tattered blanket, and a few bottles.

Xiao San walked to the side of the bamboo bed and sat down, still not saying a word. Without knowing what he was thinking, he started crying unknowingly, and I didn't know what to say to that scoundrel, but Xiao San shouted out once again as if he was venting his anger. He tore off the blanket and pillow he was wearing, and he seemed very angry.

Xiao San picked it up and sat it down on the bed. Xiao San said to us: "Can you guys go out first? I want to be alone. "

The scoundrel gestured for me to go out. Although I was still a bit worried for Little San, anything happening at such a short distance should be enough for me to react.

(Third person)

In bed, Xiao San saw the diary that his father often wrote when he was young. The diary was deeply engraved in Xiao San's mind because almost every night, his father would write something with it. When Xiao San was young, before his father started drinking.

Xiao San opened his diary. Some of the pages were already rotten, so he couldn't see the diary, but some of the pages were still well preserved.

April 22, 248

Today, Xiao Tao was already a year old and Xiao Yan (Xiao San, Li Yan) was very much like a big brother to him. Although I didn't earn much money today, I bought a small gold lock for Xiao Tao, hoping that both Xiao Yan and Xiao Yan would happily grow up. I also have to work hard, I can't let the two of them suffer alongside me.

May 1, 249

has just become two years old, so he can speak a lot of words now. When Xiao Tao grows up, he will definitely be as smart as Xiao Yan, who will be the top scorer in every class. Furthermore, she's so beautiful today, if she doesn't marry me, she would definitely be able to live a good life, so I will definitely work hard. I won't be able to make her suffer no matter what.

October 8, 249

Why did she leave with someone, she actually thought I had no money, and he ran off with money. What about Xiao Tao, I don't believe it, if she thought I had no money, why did she marry me, it must have been that person forcing her to. I don't believe it.

10 October 249 Dark

What's wrong with me, I actually got drunk, and beat up Xiao Tao and Xiao Yan when I returned home, what's wrong with me?

It rained on October 20, 249.

Why, why am I doing this to Xiao Tao and Xiao Yan? I can't be like this, I said that I wanted to let Xiao Tao and Xiao Yan live a good life, how can I go and smoke that thing, how can I be like this.

Snow 2 December 249

It's snowing today, and they're here to collect their debts. I'm really a bastard, and I can't stop thinking about giving Xiao Yan a beating, because I look like his mother, I don't have a house left, so I brought Xiao Yan and Xiao Tao back to the place where I used to live, and when I saw that Xiao Tao's face was completely red from the cold, I really couldn't bear it, and looked at the resentful expression on his face. I don't know why I was so scared, and I'm not able to give them a good life.

January 1, 250

Today is the first day of the new year, so I returned home drunk. I saw that kind of expression from Xiao Yan again, filled with disgust and resentment, which means that he must be hating me for not having enough money, to the point where even my children despise me for not having enough money. I beat Xiao Yan up again, and Xiao Tao hid in his room while crying.

Many of the pages after the diary are filled with scribbles that do not make any sense, and then turn back

3 August 256

I wanted to buy some meat to cook for them, but when I returned home, I saw the look in Xiao Yan's eyes, full of contempt and resentment, and I couldn't control myself. I hit Xiao Yan again, and this time, Xiao Yan actually hit me back, and said to me: "You can't hit me anymore, I'll make my own money, and I'll take good care of my little brother." I don't know what was in my heart. Unnamed happiness, Xiao Yan has finally grown up, there will be a day when they no longer need a useless father like me. To be able to see this kind of Xiao Yan, I am truly happy.

After Aug. 3, 256, he scribbled a few more pages and then jumped straight to the page

Sept. 17, 258

I really shouldn't, I actually stabbed Xiao Yan! I saw the look in his eyes, along with disdain and resentment, I knew that the day I was waiting for had come, Xiao Yan had grown up, the current Xiao Yan has powerful friends, he must definitely have found a good place to live. This way, Xiao Tao will be able to live a good life, and as an incompetent father, I won't have to worry about anything anymore. , you have to be careful. You have to take care of your little brother, and forget that you have such a father.

When he was young, his father was not rich, but his family was very happy. It was only when his mother left that his father's character changed drastically, then got infected with that thing, and became violent. Now that his father was really dead, Little San said to his notebook in a low voice: "I've never resented that you had no money, I've never thought of it that way, I just hate that you've been immersed in the illusions created for you. I just hate that you haven't done what a father should do, I just hate that you can't cheer up, without money, I just want to be optimistic and let my father feel like that, that's why you can't do it."

Xiao San was crying inside the house without making any sound. Outside, Ling Ling and Scoundrel knew nothing about the contents of the notebook.

In the past, he was also a good father, and he also doted on Little San and Li Tao. Actually, from the diary, he could still tell that he was in love with Little San and Li Tao, but that vicious powder had caused him to lose control of himself, and he couldn't control his own actions. Who could blame this society? His wife who had forsaken him was still the one who had sold him the powder. It was all his fault for not being able to balance his feelings, always feeling that others despised him for not having enough money, feeling inferior and weak.

If he had been able to control himself at the first possible moment, there would have been no such consequence. His wife must have left him for other reasons, and as he said, if she thought he had no money, then why did she marry him? She had no money, and she had helped him to give birth to two children.

The last page of his diary was written yesterday. He was repenting, but he only wrote it down in his diary. He didn't dare to tell Little San that whether or not he was forgiven by Little San, as a father he had to act like a father. He had to bear the burden of failing to achieve an example.

Xiao San took a deep breath. Right now, he was actually very happy in his heart. He knew that his father still loved them both, and that was enough. No matter who killed his father, he would still take revenge on them.

(First person)

After quite a long time, Little Three finally came out, and I could see that his eyes were full of tears. But this time, I raised my head, and I didn't know why but I felt that Little Three was so determined, as if he had solved a mystery that had been puzzled for many years. He wasn't as dejected as he was before, and I didn't know what was recorded in the diary that made Little Three, who still had a hazy expression, become better.

Xiao San walked out and saw the two of us. "Ling, scoundrel, thank you both. I know you're both worried about me, but now you're okay." Then his eyes became very sharp and he said, "If my enemy is too strong, will you help me?"

The rogue saw that Xiao San's face looked much better, he giggled and said, "Who cares who he is, I'll support you."