CH 138

{ “…they’re usually found in shallow waters on top of pure white sand beaches…” }

Ed looked at the light from a distance. Small grains of sand surrounded the balsam like clouds surrounding the moon. The sand swirled around helplessly with the movement of his arms.

‘…chances are a hundred to one…’

Lowering his gaze, Ed saw the sandbar getting closer. The floor, which he hadn’t seen because he was only staring at the balsam, appeared faintly. Several conch shells, resting on the seabed, reflected the light weakly and created emerald-coloured hues.

The terrible voice rang in his ears again. 

{ “…It’s an empty shell without the conch. The inside is filled with a thin membrane full of air…” }

‘You abandoned me so cruelly and left me out here to die, so why are you trying to bring me back to life now? You seem to do whatever you feel like doing. You’re treating me like an idiot… If I survive, I’m going to grab you by your neck and tell you the truth. I’ll clearly imprint on you what you’ve lost by abandoning me… But, will the emptiness I feel go away once I break that neck?’

Ed looked up again. The light that he wasn’t able to catch this whole time sank right before his eyes. When he reached out his hand, rays of light began pouring out between his fingers. Grabbing the balsam, Ed descended onto the sandbar. The current tangled around him when he moved his feet and stirred his arms. Every time the seawater grazed his torn skin, he had to overcome the pain similar to that of tearing flesh.

Ed tried to approach the reef with all his might. His muscles, which had long reached their limit, resisted the buoyancy force, thereby causing his entire body to twist and turn. In addition the more vigorously he swam, the more blood seeped from his body, obscuring his vision. Regardless, there was only one thing on his mind. It was the need to breathe before his limbs stopped working altogether.

The hands that were holding the reef, finally managed to rip one of the conch shells off. Fresh air entered his throat when he breathed in just before his remaining breath was depleted. Ed deeply inhaled the air. Bubbles wrapped around his face when he breathed frantically. His hazy mind revived when his blood vessels pulsated and his heart pounded.

Ed purposely tried to tear the colony attached to the reef. He pulled as hard as he could. Fortunately, the seaweed fell off relatively easy despite his lack of physical strength. He then quickly grabbed a few of the vigare deaires that were woven in rows by the lush vegetation and floated upward.

As soon as he rose to the surface, a wooden plank floating next to him tapped his shoulder.

‘It must’ve been thrown out as a splint, seeing that debris doesn’t just float in the middle of the sea like this.’

At first, he didn’t want to look at it, but he pushed his pride aside knowing that his survival was his number one priority. So, Ed placed his right hand on it, along with the vigare deaires. He lacked the will to separate them one by one, but having them with him was enough to keep him from worrying about not being able to breathe.

This was because even with the support of the wooden board, Ed wasn’t in a situation where he could inhale fresh air easily. No matter how calm the sea was, the waves would come and go. With that, water frequently splashed on his face, making it difficult to breathe, especially when the water went up his nose. He also lacked the strength to kick his feet or catch his breath every time he was poured over by the sea. In addition, he had to save the little stamina he had left for later; he would need it to swim towards a nearby island once he spotted one.

That was why the conch shells were useful. Ed didn’t have to struggle to consistently keep his neck above the water. All he had to do was grip the plank and place the shell on his mouth every now and then. This way, he saved stamina and increased the chances of his survival. 

Normally, the time a person could endure being adrift in the sea was limited to around twelve hours depending on the water temperature, however, Ed’s time would be significantly reduced as he was also dealing with his blood loss. Not to mention, hypothermia could also become a serious problem. It was key for Ed to locate an island as soon as the sun rose and his visibility became better. Fortunately for him, the southern sea was shallow with many uninhabited sand islands that were a short distance from each other.

Ed shifted his gaze to the east. But no matter how many times he turned his head, there was no sign of sunrise.

‘It’s probably due to overcast, or maybe it’s still before dawn. Or…’

Suddenly, a humiliating realisation stabbed him in the back of the head. Slowly, but decisively. He had to entertain his embarrassed thoughts once more.

‘I can’t believe I’ve been hit on the back of my head like that and rendered defenceless…’

Instead of looking at the horizon, Ed raised his head.

“Ha… haha…”

He was met by a shower of shining stars and a high moon.

‘It seems to be only a little past midnight… I didn’t expect it to be so far from dawn. At best, I thought my surroundings were this dark because it was just before sunrise. At this rate, I don’t feel very optimistic about ever greeting the sun… My body temperature is already way down, and my blood has been pouring out dangerously for a long time….’ 

Ed, who instantly forgot his anger, started to drift absentmindedly.

The waves lashed out at him and the plank, and his feet that had been floating on the surface, sank with the passage of time.

‘It would’ve been nice if I could climb on the plank, but this wooden board isn’t strong or wide enough. So, I have no choice but to stay in the water.’

Shivering from the cold, Ed squeezed the wood with his fingertips.

His mind and body withered as time went by, and his rapid breathing emitted clouds of steam. As his consciousness faded, it seemed that his physical presence was fading as well. He was terrified of disappearing forever, but it felt like there was nothing more he could do to remain in this world… The waves crashing up the plank continuously hit him in the face before flowing down again. Ed floated with the rhythm of the sea as if he were dead. There was no reason for him to move in the first place as he held those small bags of air. Instead, he was more concerned about his brine-soaked wounds that throbbed as if they were about to burst.

His spine spasmed intermittently, and he had small convulsions all over. For a long time, his body, which had forgotten how to move, was completely focused on the sense of pain. It was the pain he had expected the moment his broken skin came in contact with the water. If hell existed on earth, it would be right here. Here, in a sea teeming with tens of thousands of needles, that persistently penetrated him one by one. Slicing through his skin and piercing his bones. From small scratches to bigger torn pieces of flesh, all his festering and tender wounds were being ripped open and stabbed once more. In addition to the pain, another negative occurrence was that his blood had no chance of drying…

Ed had long since given up on counting the hours he had been bleeding.

‘No, with this hazy mind of mine, it could only have been a few seconds for all I know. It doesn’t really matter anyway. What matters now is to live in the present. I need the conviction that holding on to this moment will let me greet another. Only that’s apparent. I believe that when I collect all those short passing moments, I can drive out the night and see the sun soon enough.’

Unfortunately, it was Ed’s body that severely dulled his spirit. His body wanted nothing more than to sink to the bottom, exhausted by the constant loss of blood and the cold. His heavy eyelids, carrying a thousand pounds, wanted to do the same. The moment he thought that he was about to lose his mind, he suddenly heard the longing for life screaming in his head. This combination of the tormenting pain, the shattering time and the screaming brought him back to reality, although shortly.

Ed cocked his head, his eyes twinkling.

‘I’m not dead yet. I have to keep reminding myself that I still have a living body that can enjoy the luxury of suffering… No matter how active my mind is, everything will be rendered useless if my body fails to stay awake…’

With that thought, Ed struck the side of the board with the back of his hand. By every hit, screams and sobs echoed and caused ripples through the waveless sea. His hand, which had been repeatedly slammed into the wood, had already begun to swell. However, the pain he felt was monotone. So, Ed had to perform the action over and over again until he sensed a distinct stimulus.

The new pain overshadowed his misery. 

‘This isn’t the time to mourn my miserable situation anyway…’

In turn, the pain was covered by the intent to kill. The determination to twist her neck was enough to eat away his pain. 

Ed sobbed between his laughter and laughed between his sobs…