CH 106

Throughout the funeral, all his father’s visitors had grief etched on their faces. Only Sehun was the exception. His pale face was poised, and his sharp eyes were placid. Perhaps Yoonshin subconsciously thought that Sehun wouldn’t collapse emotionally along with him and requested that he stay by his side.

But perhaps his judgment that day was wrong.

“I didn’t really have the opportunity though, so that was it. There was no way to turn it into reality,” Sehun said flatly, but it had more clarity and certainty than when he was at the podium, where his voice resounded through the court as he pleaded his arguments, bringing all the attention to him. For Sehun of all people—Sehun who distrusted everyone—to say that, Yoonshin thought that his father truly led a successful life.

“My father really lived a good life then.”

Sehun nodded in agreement. “That was the first time that I attended a funeral with no other special reason. Funerals and weddings—I attended events like those because of the importance or need for the relationship with their host. I was busy as hell at that time because I was a junior, but I canceled an important meeting to attend your father’s funeral.”

Even though Sehun was composed as he spoke, Yoonshin felt himself choking up, his breath shaking unevenly. He clenched and unclenched his clammy hands and recalled a passage from the novel that he had once read.

“I suppose I must catch it–like a cough.”

Perhaps Yoonshin was the same. Just like a cough, he wanted to catch everything about Sehun. Yoonshin could never be an amazingly observant person who could know the world or other people very well. However, he could intuitively catch one thing for sure.

Sehun’s life so far was very heavy, dark, tedious, and exhausting. When he was younger, he was a minor in need of protection. When he grew up, he was a lawyer with no heart or tears. The steep steps of the stairs he had to climb forced him to give up something to gain another, turning him into a twisted adult who had never placed his faith in anyone before. This was something like a babe in the woods that Yoonshin could never imagine.

Like a contagious disease, his heart was plagued with the other. Sehun was a strong-willed person to others, but in front of Yoonshin, he was fragile. Yoonshin kept catching Sehun’s pathetic sides that nobody else knew. He could somewhat relate to Sehun when he said that Yoonshin kept catching his eyes. Yoonshin had a habit that had both pros and cons—he couldn’t leave weak and fragile people alone.

“You did well to attend. You met me there,” Yoonshin said.

The other’s eyes that were reminiscing bitter and lonely memories had a flash of romanticism go by. It was very faint and transient, but Yoonshin caught it. Nobody would believe him, but it definitely existed.

From the vertigo of the moment, Yoonshin wanted to tell the other that he wanted something more, but Sehun grinned. It was the softest and gentlest smile that Yoonshin had ever seen Sehun make so far. Yoonshin couldn’t bring himself to plead for more. If he did, the emotionally defensive Sehun would conceal all the tenderness that he was showing now.

Yoonshin looked behind Sehun quickly. He didn’t know when, but the woman who was sitting at the end of the bar table was gone. The moment he was aware of that, he didn’t feel the need to hesitate any longer.

Yoonshin grabbed the other’s firm wrist and locked eyes with Sehun, who was watching his actions.

At the same time, he squeezed his eyes shut and bumped his lips with the other. The soft sensation of the other’s skin overlapped with his before they separated. When Yoonshin opened his eyes again, he had to receive the entirety of the other’s persistent gaze, who was watching the whole event unfold.