CH 84

“Me? I’m not going to cry at all.” Yoonshin felt his face with his hand. Unlike Sehun’s concern, Yoonshin didn’t feel any dampness. However, his vision did seem slightly blurry. He felt hurt when Sehun pushed him and backed away like he was the plague.

Just the other day, Yoonshin thought that it didn’t matter what Sehun thought of him. Why was he so upset now? Apparently, his face was showing how bad he felt.

After a few more pats with nothing coming off on his hands, Yoonshin dropped his hands. “It’s because you pushed me away. You might think I don’t have strong opinions, but I get hurt too.”

“That’s why you’re making that face? Do you expect me to believe that?”

“I can’t change the truth.”

“…”

“Why am I acting like this? I keep thinking about your feelings. Are you going to continue to reject me?”

During that time, people were passing by the arcade, so Sehun grabbed Yoonshin’s hand and pulled him to a more secluded place.

Under the shadows, the two men’s hands were still touching. Reacting late, Yoonshin was worried that the older man would push him away again, even though Sehun initiated it this time. He reflexively tried to let go, but Sehun prevented him from doing so by pulling his hand. It wasn’t just that. Sehun’s fingers interlocked with his, closing the gaps between their fingers.

“What are you…?” Yoonshin was about to ask. Sehun released his hand and wrapped it around the back of Yoonshin’s head. He placed his other hand on Yoonshin’s back, pulling him closer. Their bodies pressed against each other. Yoonshin’s jacket rustled against Sehun’s sweater. They each heard the other’s heartbeat.

Yoonshin realized Sehun hugged him voluntarily.

All along, Yoonshin needed moments like these—moments where another person comforted him with their warmth.

From the moment he met his sister in front of his home until now, Yoonshin felt so sorrowful and scared.

Although it may be trivial for some, it wasn’t to Yoonshin. His sister was the only family he had left. Her children couldn’t replace her. When he saw the strangulation marks on her neck, he was scared that she would face greater danger and he would lose her as well. He couldn’t tell anyone, so his anxiety only deepened.

“You’re warm.” There was a hint of tears in Yoonshin’s voice. Sehun must have noticed because he pulled the younger man tighter, almost crushing him in his arms. Not only that, but he also pushed his fingers through the younger man’s soft hair, stroking it gently. Yoonshin felt the pressures on his body and sighed. “Why are you hugging me? I’ll take it the wrong way.”

“Because I don’t want to see your face.”

It was such a Sehun-like answer that Yoonshin chuckled. He managed to raise his limp arms to hug the older man back.

Yoonshin wondered whether Sehun knew that he always acted sincerely with Yoonshin despite claiming that he disliked how Yoonshin was always too sincere. While Yoonshin didn’t hide his sincerity, Sehun always hid it. The warmth that confirmed Sehun’s feelings just barely surfaced—it meant so much to Yoonshin that he clenched Sehun’s clothes tightly.

“You’re not going to push me away again, right?” Yoonshin asked.

“I won’t.”

“Did the sun rise from the other side?”

“No.”

“Actually, I knew that.”

Sehun chuckled softly and kissed Yoonshin’s smooth hair, making the younger man freeze in surprise. Sehun sighed, then he vented in a defeated voice, “This is why I tried to keep this buried. I hate going into a losing game.”