Chapter 33. Zombie Merchants

“So you wanted to talk?” Toby said as he propped his head up with one arm on the stone table and browsed the cards he fanned out in his other out of Andrew’s sight. His eyes darted between his hidden hand of cards and the cards Andrew had just thrown onto the table.

“Yes,” Eve said politely and straightened her back. “We have many questions.”

“Well, fire away.” Toby casually tossed two cards onto the table, and Andrew frowned. Toby was the type of man you wouldn’t want to cross at night and starkly contrasted to Andrew, who was more belly than man.

Andrew shifted his various cards between his sausage fingers. “Ugh, I give up.” He tossed his hand of cards onto the table, and Toby just grinned. He was guaranteed victory.

“That’s my twentieth win in a row, Andrew. It’s getting boring now.”

Andrew shrugged and turned to the recently arrived guests. Compared to a shitty card game that Toby had invented and kept changing the rules of, talking to an Adamantite Delving team was far more exciting.

Eve took that as an opportunity. “We were tasked to find a necromancer in the cursed forest. Know anything about that?” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. Although Andrew and Toby tried to hide it well with extra clothes and hats, the undead stench was unavoidable. “Can’t answer?”

Toby laughed. “To call that thing a mere necromancer feels like calling a dragon a fire lizard or a noble a money grubber. It’s technically true, but it doesn’t paint the whole picture. But sure, there was a necromancer here recently.”

“Hold on.” Zedd tightened his grip on his dagger under the table. “Why would you tell us this? It doesn’t make sense. Actually, none of this makes sense.”

“Tell me about it.” Toby gestured between the two of them. “We have no idea what’s going on, either. One day we were on a jolly old trip to the Empire, and the next thing we know, we are in eternal servitude to some eldritch creature and abandoned here.”

Andrew interjected, “Got any alcohol, by the way? We ran out long ago.”

Zedd relaxed a little, hesitantly brought out a silver flask, and passed it to the zombie merchant. Andrew took the flask with his grubby fingers, sniffed it, and then downed it all in one go. “Good stuff that, thanks.”

“You’re welcome…” Zedd took back the flask and brushed off the filth with a handkerchief. “So you encountered this necromancer, and he is an eldritch creature? Not a human?”

“Not a human,” they both said.

Toby added, “Spoke like one, though, although I’m not sure what a creature like that is supposed to sound like since I have never met one before. Maybe it ate a human and copied its brain or something.”

“Ooh, that might be true!” Andrew said. “Anyway, that thing is not around anymore.”

“So why don’t you escape?” Eve pointed out but then felt stupid as the two zombies stared at her with rotting skin. “Never mind…this is likely the best place to stay.”

“It’s bloody boring, though.” Andrew sighed and scratched his arse. “Being a zombie fucking sucks as well. Can’t sleep, the constant hunger for flesh…” He quickly raised his hands. “It’s manageable! The main issue is how our bodies degrade over time. I wonder if we will eventually be like Bob.”

“What’s up with him? Was he a midget or something?” Sam asked as he eyed the skeleton and Rock cooking up some kind of abomination over a fire. “Also, how do you guys still speak? Forgive me if I am being rude, but zombies usually aren’t the brightest bunch.”

“None taken. We understand we are rather unique.” Toby pulled his hat down further over his eyes. “Bob over there was a mighty fine dwarf and the best darn chef I ever had the pleasure of traveling with. But that monster took something away from him, something I don’t think he will ever get back.” He looked into the distance as if having a whimsical moment. Nobody dared to interrupt him; as a giant man with muscles that rivaled Eve’s, it was best to leave him alone.

“Sooo…” Eve said after a while. “About the ice sculptures. You said they were for sale? Really?”

The two zombie merchants exchanged a look and a slight nod. “Sure,” Andrew replied, flashing a grin on his fat face. “The thing told us to rest up before leaving. It’s been weeks, and our master is yet to return.” The merchant rubbed his hands together. “I am sure he won’t mind us selling some of the collection. In fact, I will give you guys a great deal. Buy one, get one free!”

Andrew pushed himself off the floor, which took far more effort than necessary, and waddled toward the sculptures. “Come! While we wait for food, let’s discuss some business.”

***

Two days had passed, and Victor decided it was time to move on. Wiggles had confirmed that the next two floors consisted of a similar desert biome, so there was little reason to remain stationary. Apart from letting Genus get some beauty sleep.

“Master.” A voice sounded in the back of his head, and Victor instantly concentrated. It wasn’t a voice he was familiar with like Henry’s or Terry’s, so who could it be?

Entering the black ocean within his mind, Victor looked across to the black waters to the south and saw a group of three blinding lights surrounded by hundreds of smaller flecks of lights. Ah yes, the group of merchants and goblins I left at the old camp. I totally forgot about them. He didn’t really care for them all that much, so he was surprised they reached out to him. I expected them to run away or something.

“Yes?” he responded. It took a second due to the distance, as he didn’t invest many stat points into the message. From the call with Terry, he had discovered that there was a flat lifeforce fee for every message he sent, similar to how old phone contracts worked. However, he could shove additional stat points into the message to have it arrive faster, which he did when talking to Terry. Otherwise, he would have had to wait days between messages. But for these insignificant subordinates? He didn’t wish to waste more points than he needed. Sure, sixty million points is a lot, but it’s better to hold onto them than needlessly waste them.

“Master, it’s Andrew. One of the zombie merchants. Sorry to bother your excellency, but an Adamantite Delving party has arrived. We are currently buying time while playing cards, but they are demanding answers about a necromancer and also want to purchase the sculptures. What should we do? If we all combine our strengths, we could maybe drive them off, but what if they come again with more people?” The zombie rambled on and only stopped once Victor interjected.

“Delving team? Did they mention anything about encountering a horseman?”

“O-oh yes, they did. It seems the Delving party came in peace this time. They did mention something about Henry.”

“Okay. Keep details about me vague, but overall you can say as much as you want until they are satisfied. For the ice sculptures, I don’t care about them all that much, so you can keep ten percent of any money you make from them and save the rest for me. I may need some currency to work with at a later date.”

“Okay, master. Will do. Also…may I request that we can pick which monster to be merged with?”

“Explain.”

“Well, you have all these preserved corpses, so couldn’t we be combined with one of them like you did with Henry? I want to be strong but not turn into…well, you know…Bob.”

Victor paused. Why hadn’t he thought of that earlier? Sure, the Delving team appearing in the north was a rather pressing matter. Still, he could have gained two more useful subordinates like Henry instead of abandoning them back at that camp. In fact, he needed them and the goblins to join him in this dungeon somehow…or did he? He was currently stuck down here, so having representatives on the surface would be perfect.

“All right, here’s the plan. While I make my way down the Grand Dungeon’s floors and take over the dragons, your and Toby’s job is to conquer the surface. All of the southern section of the cursed forest is for your use. Sell the monster corpses, pick the two you want to be merged with, and then put the goblins to work however you wish. Build mines, a town, roads, and infrastructure. Anything to make you money. You two can keep a third of all the money you make. Then, if you have done a satisfactory job, I will promote you both by merging you with a monster as I did with Henry. Understand?”

Victor could practically hear the excitement in Andrew’s voice. “Y-yes, my lord! We will not disappoint you.”

The connection fizzled out, and Victor smiled to himself. Meeting those merchants had been a significant turn in his fortune. He now had two savvy businessmen working for him on the surface while he conquered the depths. Eventually, he would combine the two empires and rule over the entire cursed forest.

“But first, we need to get moving.” Victor floated over to where Genus was resting. In typical dragon fashion, he had chosen to slumber in a dormant volcano. Victor peered down over the edge of the volcano and could practically see the mana swirling around the dragon. Genus was at the epicenter like a castle-size funnel with scales as if he was a mana black hole. He looked healthier, and some of the weight he had lost over the past few days had been regained. Victor noticed a pile of gray slugs in the sand by his mouth, so Genus had clearly been eating recently. Perhaps I will leave him for one more day as the dragons are still a few floors behind, and I will need him in top shape to continue… He had changed his mind about the Grand Dungeon. It was no longer a race to the bottom but rather a marathon. He had forgotten how vulnerable fleshy bodies were. Although he could race ahead and reach the bottom a few days or weeks earlier, so what? So long as the dragons weren’t hot on his trail and there were monsters to kill, he had all the time in the world.

But he was now a little bored with Genus sleeping and nothing but gray sand in all directions. I wonder what Alice is up to?