CH 225

Chapter 225

“What’s going on?”

After contemplation, I immediately opened up the messaging service to cancel Han Kiseok and my appointment. As soon as I turned on the app, however, Seo Dawon entered the room; I impulsively hid the cellphone behind my back. Seo Dawon had a mischievous gleam in his eyes as he looked at me, but this time I looked away and avoided his gaze. I really had no intention of revealing any of this.

“No, it’s just…” I murmured.

Now that I think about it, though, won’t the servants also swarm along when I went to meet Han Kiseok? Honestly, what a catastrophe…

‘It’s better to get this over with…’ 1

Wouldn’t it be better to first tell Seo Dawon how this situation came about? From what I could perceive, Seo Dawon seemed to have already noticed the nature of my relationship with Han Kiseok. Even if I hid it, I’d get caught anyway; perhaps I’d be scolded for 10 seconds less if I were to admit that this meeting couldn’t be helped…

With that thought, I immediately took out my hidden cell phone. Seo Dawon simply glanced at my outstretched phone without trying to interrogate me.

‘But, even if I confessed everything… I don’t know what type of reaction he’ll have.’

It was honestly hard to imagine Seo Dawon losing his temper and releasing fiery anger. No matter how angry he may be, he always seemed to be the type to calm down and de-escalate and not the one to pursue his temper. I was intimidated by the mere thought of Seo Dawon coldly telling me, ‘Why would you do something so stupid?’

But, if he were to nonchalantly laugh and pass it off as nothing worth noting… I honestly wouldn’t feel too good about that. That meant that the Mage had no interest in who I used to like or who I was going out to meet.

‘If Seo Dawon told me he made an appointment to meet Ryu Hyerin, I would surely feel upset…’

No matter how much I observed Seo Dawon’s close face, I couldn’t predict his reaction… Eventually, I explained the situation in a small voice, as if I were confessing my wrongdoings to the Mage.

“I… This saturday… Han Kiseok and I promised to meet up.”

“Why?”

“Well…”

Seo Dawon tranquilly asked for my reasons. The question wasn’t really much, but I felt like I was suddenly at a loss for an answer; I squeezed the bed of my nails. I felt like I stayed silent for too long, so I stuttered, “I was…wondering why Han Kiseok wanted to see me… Ah, but it’s not like I have lingering feelings for him or anything! So…”

“Did you want to meet him first?”

“No! Never! It’s just… our conversation just flowed in that direction…”

“He asked to meet?”

“Mhmm…”

Contrary to my expectations, Seo Dawon did not get angry nor did he laugh light-heartedly.

He looked down at me expressionlessly, sat on my bed, and began to stare at me while maintaining eye-level position. It didn’t seem like he was furious, but the atmosphere didn’t feel carefree either; I kept my eyes fixed on the floor.

Then, Seo Dawon reached out to me. Surprised by the hand approaching my eyes, I flinched and pulled my head back. Eventually, though, his fingers brushed through my bangs; afterwards, I felt like I couldn’t move. Seo Dawon touched my hair gently, as if he were softly stroking it.

“I thought you didn’t want to see him,” he said, in a calm voice. “Did you perhaps miss him?”

I wasn’t usually a quick-witted person, but…at this moment, I knew I shouldn’t nod. I jumped to an upright position and emphatically shook my head. “No! It’s not like that at all. It’s just… a matter of male pride–something like that…”

“……”

“If…you’re feeling uncomfortable about this, read my DMs…”

Seo Dawon took the cell phone from my hand as soon as I finished talking. To be honest, I wanted to stop him, but I couldn’t take the phone back; he was holding tightly onto that hand with his, and I had already given permission.

Despairing, I glanced at Seo Dawon who motionlessly read through Han Kiseok and my conversation.Was he going to smirk at me…? Or was he going to get angry…? But, if I thought that Seo Dawon would get angry, why was I….

‘…Why am I looking forward to his reaction?’

I’d honestly be happy if the Mage were to show signs of jealousy…

Seo Dawon didn’t say much even after reading the conversation and turning off the cell phone screen. Considering the force the Mage still used to grip my hand, our discussion wasn’t at an end. “…If you don’t want to go, then just don’t go.”

To my ears–to anyone’s ears–that was a plaintive plea for me to not meet Han Kiseok; my heart started to beat. Then timidly, pretending to be caught in a dilemma, I said, “Still, a promise is a promise…”

“I think you’ll have a hard time if you go meet him.” However, the Mage said something different from what I expected. For a moment, I stared at him, unable to understand. Seo Dawon spoke again after brief silence, his words twisting and winding around the real core of his argument, “He’s someone you liked in the past, right?”

“But not right now…” Bewildered, I hurried to answer his straightforward question. However, my answer did nothing more than to affirm the Mage’s current suspicions.

Watching my face flush and heat up, Seo Dawon released a short sigh, “Just what do you want to hear from him by meeting him. It doesn’t seem like you guys parted on good terms.”

“That’s…No, how could you even know…”

“Every time Han Kiseok is mentioned, your expression…”

“……”

“Enough.” The Mage’s tone was cold, but he stroked my hair and softly fiddled with my ears. It felt like he was simultaneously embracing me and freezing me. If it weren’t for that strange dissonant vibe, I would have thought the Mage was trying to comfort me.

I looked at him in a daze–it felt like my body couldn’t figure out whether or not it was dunked into an ice pool or a hot tub. Seo Dawon, in a more acrid tone, “Well, of course he’s curious. The man that liked him became a User. But, why do you have to satisfy his curiosity?”

“……”

Seo Dawon spoke as if he clearly knew what Han Kiseok was thinking. So, after hesitating, I asked him quietly, “Do you think Han Kiseok never liked me? Not even once?”

“What?”

“Actually… I’ve been curious about that… For some reason, I thought I might find the answer to that question if I were to go and meet him…”

Seo Dawon opened his mouth before closing it with a slightly irritated expression.

However… These really were my true inner thoughts. No matter how stupid or foolish I may be…perhaps I could muster up some courage now that I have a chance to meet Han Kiseok. Perhaps I could ask long-held questions if I considered this meeting our last.

Han Kiseok was someone who greatly influenced my life–my romantic philosophy in particular. Even after our ill-fated parting, I had nurtured brief crushes on those similar to Han Kiseok–those that were outgoing and kind but emotionally unavailable. 2. Those that were unexpectedly easy to get along with but were more secretive the more one dug into their lives.

So, I wanted to clarify whether or not Han Kiseok had lead me on or if I had been solely mistaken. After all, since then, I’d put brakes on any possible relationships because of this trauma.

‘If he answers me… I feel like my I can put things to peace’

Who knows, maybe I’d be able to recognize signs for when I begin to fall for similar types of people. Though I liked Seo Dawon now… Honestly, Seo Dawon probably wouldn’t need me anymore after his revenge and resurrection are successfully accomplished. He probably wouldn’t treat me the same as he did now… He’d probably marry a woman that suited him, like Ryu Hyerin…

“What kind of delusional thoughts did you cook up…?” Seo Dawon’s words and the sound of him clicking his tongue cut through my gloomy thoughts. I had been immersed in my own imagination for a while.

I glared at Seo Dawon–another large contributor to the reason I resolved to meet Han Kiseok. To be honest, I would never have entertained the thought of actually meeting the man if it weren’t for the Mage. My own self-pity fueled my longing for a clear, definite answer.

“Why would you ask him that? If Han Kiseok liked you, he’d be living with you right now,” the Mage stated.

“……”

“And, if he did say he had liked you, what are you going to say? Are you feeling wistful?” Seo Dawon seemed incredibly mad; he attacked me like only he could.

At that moment, I felt more hateful towards the Mage than Han Kiseok. I shot back, “So, you’re saying that a person who knows I like them yet won’t date me…but still, occasionally, is kind to me is a futile prospect. Is that right?”

“That’s right. They’re just playing around with you.”

“Then, you’re the same. You also know how I feel about you, and still you won’t give me an answer! Yet, you treat me kindly–you Han Kiseok-like-bastard!” I pushed at the Mage. Lackey, watching from behind, loved this conflict so much it began bouncing around on the bed. Huffing and puffing, I glared at Seo Dawon.