Chapter 285 I Am Who I Am

6th layer, Inner ring

We finally made it. We were in the inner ring of the sixth layer. The City of Gold. The trip was fast and without much worry. Atlas had anchored the boat on the river bank and pointed me in the direction of the palace.

"It's a bit far from here, but if you keep heading North and over that Rusted Iron Wall, you should see it. The Golden Palace of the Vagetha the Golden Conqueror."

He pointed in the direction of a large wall that reached at least a kilometre high. The wall was covered in rust and possessed massive openings that spewed out hot molten magma from it. This magma had formed several streams around the wall spreading off into different directions, but none ever touching the river of souls. There were golden statues, just a little bit shorter than the wall, placed in a position that made them seem like they were keeping the walls from falling down.

"Ugh. Make sure not to offend the guardians of the wall or you'll end up being used to build one of those statues."

With that final warning, Atlas returned to his boat and started to prepare for his trip back to the outer ring.

'Um… a little bit over the top, don't you think?'

<<What? I had to keep myself from taking more land somehow, you know?>>

Before I could ask the agent what it meant by that, my ears perked up at the sound of devils running like wild buffalo in a stampeded. In a distance, much like how things were when I first met Malius, a swarm of devils were charging at me.

Knowing that there was something more to it, I looked past the swarm and saw that a ginormous figure was chasing them my way. It gave off the same aura as the monster from the first time, which could only mean one thing.

'Ars Goetia?', I thought as my lips started to tremble.

"Fuck! Get in here! There's something chasing em!", Atlas, concerningly warned me. However, as hard as I tried, I couldn't find a single part of me that wanted to listen to him. My mind and body could only focus on one thing.

I remembered the promise I made to myself on the day the agent attacked me. I swore I'd never run away from anything that tried to kill me. I would face any sort of challenge the world threw at me with a resolve of steel.

Had I followed through on that promise?

I couldn't say for sure. I mean, I was missing some parts of my memory thanks to [Evolver], but one thing that I knew for sure, was that I did not want to run away from this Ars Goetia I'd heard so much about.

Even worse, I was right next to my goal. I had to hurry up then return to the home I'd made for myself in this odd world. From where I stood, I could almost see the tip of this Golden Castle Atlas spoke of.

"Sorry, but a NEET like me can't help but want to hurry up back to my home.", having come to my conclusion, I waved Atlas off and marched towards the swarm.

Without looking back, I could tell Atlas listened to me and was going away hurriedly. I couldn't help but laugh at the scene before continuing.

'I guess that's just how he is.', I didn't expect anymore from him given his disposition. He had completed his job and wanted nothing more than to return home. In a sense, we were both alike.

While moving towards the swarm, I noticed that other than what was chasing the swarm, there was another smaller figure just watching from afar. The being was sitting down and looking at me while I walked towards what I assumed to be his ally.

<<I see the effects of hell are starting to rub off on you.>>

The agent muttered with a sort of distaste.

'What do you mean?'

<<The lust for souls, the ecstasy at the sight of a potential battle and the gradual loss of care for anything. Slowly, but surely, you're becoming more and more like a true devil>>

It explained to me. But I couldn't understand that.

'My hunger is caused by [World Eater] and I haven't lost a single care or emotion for those I love. I don't know what makes you think I'm getting ecstatic at the prospect of fighting. I detest that greatly.'

I countered all its points, but the agent clearly didn't want to lose.

<<You don't have a physical form here and are unable to access most of your original skills including [World Eater]. And of course you haven't noticed the subtle loss in emotion. As for the last part… the fact that you're grinning is more than enough proof!>>

That was when I noticed that my lips had been upturned madly. Like butterflies dancing in my stomach, I was getting anxious at the thought of fighting them. Almost like love at first sight.

Unable to believe the kind of stupid nonsense I was monologuing, I couldn't help but laugh.

'Well… when in Rome, do as the Romans do.'

As hard as I tried to act calmly, I couldn't hide the fact that I was scared from myself. It was weird, but I think I was scared because I couldn't feel scared anymore. I think, the only comfort I had about feeling weak, was the fact that I could still feel human.

Ever since getting reincarnated, although in a short time, I had become more beast-like than human. The scariest part about that was the fact that it all felt so natural. Like I was always meant to be that kind of creature. I believed it always had a part to do with why I was mostly in my bird form than human form. Like the human form was chaining me down to something I wasn't meant to be.

That odd phenomenon was absolutely terrifying to me and I couldn't handle it. The only thing that probably kept me how I was, was fear. Because of it, no matter how much I hated it, I could always at least remember that I was human before a monster.

My fear and logical thinking would make me perform actions that were more human than monster. With that and one other key factor, I could maintain my humanity I thought.

But right now, with that key factor gone and my fear also gradually disappearing, I realised that my humanity was a chain in a sense. It bound me and prevented me from doing certain morally questionable things.

Maybe, this wasn't the first time I realised I was a monster. The times I've killed humans without batting an eye. Maybe, I never ever had any sort of humanity in me to begin. Maybe, I was simply now free because I couldn't be scared of anything anymore. This lust for battle and heartlessness, maybe… just maybe, this was the true me, unshackled by anything.

<<I prefer the more stupid version of you. At least things won't be so cliché that way>>

The agent said unexpectedly, clearing all my thoughts away. It felt as if I could see a silhouette of the agent's presence next to me, but I just slapped my face and brought myself back to reality.

None of this nonsense mattered. Whether I was becoming more like a devil, whether I was human, whether I was a monster. No one but me was allowed to define myself. Akira, Hinotori, Hyakkiyako, Akkun, Kira, simple labels but none could explain the entity I was.

'All I know is that I am who I am. Nothing more, nothing less!'

<<Um… that's so out of nowhere and cringe.>>

'Shut up!'

<<Hehehe>>

'Thanks.'

With a clear mind, I charged at the swarm as fast as I could. When I met it head on, I noticed something strange happening. None of the devils even touched me. They all made sure to steer clear of me while flying hurriedly from the monster chasing them.

'Agent?'

<<They most likely acknowledge that you are of a higher ranking than they themselves>>

'That so? Guess that works out nicely for us then.'

Happy for such a convenient situation, I flew hard, prepping up a very powerful punch. Since I didn't have access to most of my skills and magic was still a no-go for me, I decided to instead go as physical as I could.

Once I emerged from the swarm, I was able to get a better view of the devil that had been causing this mess from all the way back in the outer ring.

It was a wolf as large as a hill. The fur on its back was raven black, but the fur that covered everywhere else burnt a fiery red. The beast had three heads, all of which possessed an increasing number of horns. One horn on the left head, two on the right and three on the centre head. This beast possessed golden eyes that shone like a lamp in pitch-black void, but there was an odd scar on the middle head's eye.

The wolf paused in its charge, probably confused as to why a devil was flying at it with full speed, but this only worked to my advantage. Without a shred of hesitation, I sent to Cerberus a skull-splitting punch in the middle head, knocking it quite a ways back.

I looked at the other devil that was still far away. I noticed his eyes tremble as he stood up in shock that his ally was done in with only one punch.

I myself looked at my fist, confused by how strong I was.

'Agent? I don't believe my strength stat was so great I could crack a hill with my punch. Maybe with [Mithril Body] I could do that, but not normal stats.'

<<Your devil form is five times as strong as your normal state. In hell, you are stronger than you've ever been>>

Ah… I forgot about that. The only downside to using this form back home was that it took some of my hp to fuel, but I guess there was no such limit in hell.

'I guess I could use this to test how strong the devil form is really. I can't have it being my strongest card and not knowing its limits.'