Chapter 204 Admitting Defeat

Two more failed attempts and a headache that wasn’t going away.

Ashleigh was tired.

It had now been two full weeks of losses at Fiona’s game. With a new wolf added to the roster every day, Ashleigh was bruised and sore. The hit to her confidence was no joke either.

Taking a break for one day hadn’t been enough, especially when she couldn’t even spend it with Caleb after getting sick. But she would never tell Fiona that. In fact, she was pretty sure that Fiona had gotten more aggressive after that day.

Ashleigh looked in the mirror.

She saw the blood seeping from her eyes again… but it wasn’t real. She swallowed the feeling and left the bathroom.

She had kept what had happened to herself. Once she washed her face, it was all gone, and it didn’t happen again. Was it worth mentioning?

Probably.

She brought the phone to her ear, waiting for an answer.

“Hey! Long time no hear!” Bell said excitedly from the other end of the line. “I thought you might have forgotten about me.”

“You’ve been on your honeymoon. I didn’t want to ruin the mood,” Ashleigh laughed.

“Mood was good, excellent,” Bell said with a playful tone.

“I bet… I won’t ask since I’m pretty sure you’ll tell.”

“Oh, I will. I definitely will… it was… Goddess… I miss him already,” Bell whined.

Ashleigh laughed again as she could practically see Bell pouting on the other side of the call.

“I’m sure he misses you even more,” Ashleigh replied.

“Probably,” Bell laughed, “I did tease him a bit just before he left, just to make sure he missed me.”

“You are so mean!” Ashleigh giggled..

“He likes it.”

“Ok,” Ashleigh laughed. “You can stop there.”

“Prude,” Bell sighed jokingly. “So, what’s up?”

“Nothing big, just checking in.”

“Bull.”

“What?”

“I know you, Ash. You’ve got that weight of the world tone in your voice again. So, what’s up?”

Ashleigh sighed.

“Ok, I have a question, but this is under the strictest of secret friendship codes.”

“Of course,” Bell smiled.

“I mean it. Not even Galen can know,” Ashleigh stated.

“Sisters before misters,” Bell said proudly.

Ashleigh laughed before continuing.

“Alright, I wanted to know what you remember of your time with the Priestesses.”

“That’s…random,” Bell said. “Uhm, nothing really. I mean… I remember going, I sort of remember the woman I met, though most of her details are blurry.”

Bell took a breath and was quiet for a moment while she tried to remember.

“She had very tight golden curls that sticks out in my mind. But, if you mean, do I remember any of the conversation or the magic they used… No, it’s all lost to me… Why?”

Ashleigh sighed.

“I have been having these sort of out-of-body dream things…” she said. “I can see and hear the Priestess and me talking about Caleb being my true mate. But there’s more, only I can’t remember it, and the Priestess keeps kicking me out before the old me talks about it.”

“Kicking you out?” Bell asked. “You mean you wake up?”

“No, I mean she is there in my mind telling me that ‘it is not time’ for me to remember,” Ashleigh clarified, emphasizing Lian’s words with an ominous tone.

“I don’t understand… is it a dream, or are you saying that you are connecting to the Priestess somehow, like a psychic link?”

“I don’t know, honestly,” Ashleigh replied. “It feels real, the first time, I was asleep, and I assumed it was a dream. But this last time, I was definitely awake. I had been thinking about Cain and Tomas and what it all could mean, and then I got dizzy, my head started hurting… next thing I knew, I was back in the weird blue space with all the lights around me, and then Lian’s voice and–”

“Whoa, whoa… ok… what?” Bell interrupted. “You’ve lost me… blue space? And who is Lian?”

Ashleigh took a deep breath.

“Sorry, let me start from the beginning….” Ashleigh said as she sat down on the bed.

She spent the next few minutes describing what she remembered of the dream and the connection she had felt two days before.

“Bleeding from the eyes and nose?!” Bell shouted. “Ashleigh! That is not a simple thing you just ignore!”

“It only happened one time, and it wasn’t a lot.”

“A bloody nose, sure, you can ignore it once or twice, it’s probably nothing… but eyes? Come on, Ash!”

“I’m fine.”

“Ash, we don’t really know anything about the Priestesses or how their magic works. They may have an active connection to your mind, and we don’t know what that could do to you. The Priestess herself warned you.”

“Bell, I can’t just ignore it… Knowing that there is something about Caleb and me that I have forgotten, and it sounded important… how can I ignore that?”

“Ashleigh, she said it would kill you if you pushed. She also said you would remember in time… just give it some time. Don’t push. Please.”

Ashleigh sighed.

“You have other mysteries to solve. So focus on those,” Bell offered.

“True,” Ashleigh said. “And a mother-in-law to defeat.”

“Say what?”

“Fiona has been testing me for the past two weeks. War games.”

“Those are your favorite.”

“Yes, but things are a little different in Summer than in Winter,” Ashleigh groaned.

“I have the greatest and deepest respect for our mother-in-law….” Bell said. “But are you seriously trying to tell me that you can’t take her down?”

Ashleigh was quiet.

“Ash…”

Ashleigh remained quiet.

“Ashleigh… are you holding back?”

She did not answer.

Bell sighed.

“You’ll do more harm than good that way.”

“It’s not intentional,” Ashleigh replied softly.

“What do you mean?”

Ashleigh was quiet again; she bit her lower lip.

“Fiona is a strong fighter; she is strategic in her movements. She recognizes her opponent’s strengths and weaknesses, using them to her advantage. Honestly, fighting with her is inspiring,” Ashleigh said. “But, it’s also terrifying.”

“Why?”

“I feel the need to keep up, to push harder,” she continued. “But then I remember the rogues that attacked Summer. Losing control, the way I did….”

“I heard Saul recommended two more weeks of recovery,” Bell said gently.

“Yea…” Ashleigh replied.

“Why’d you rush?”

“I thought I was fine,” Ashleigh sighed.

“You always do,” Bell smiled.

Ashleigh chuckled.

“I gotta be right at some point.”

“Why don’t you talk to Saul, see if maybe he has some advice?” Bell suggested.

“He’ll tell me to come home,” Ashleigh sighed, leaning her head back against the headboard.

“Probably,” Bell said. “But, are you sure you shouldn’t?”

“I don’t know. It just feels like going back now would be admitting defeat.”

“To what?”

“The loss of control?” Ashleigh said, a question directed at herself more than Bell.

“Ash, you’re not alone in this. If you won’t talk to Saul, what about Corrine? She wasn’t a berserker, but she certainly understands you and the concept in general.”

“No,” Ashleigh said with a shake of her head. “She’s got a lot going on right now.”

Axel had left without a word to Wyatt. Still, he had asked Corrine to step in and handle the everyday tasks while he was running some kind of investigation that needed to be kept quiet.

Wyatt had made it clear to Ashleigh that Axel was feeling slightly by the two of them, so Corrine was the only one he trusted with his whereabouts and plans.

At first, she thought he was childish, but she realized he was right after a day of thinking about it. She and her father had taken away all his options. Seeing him make his own decisions as Alpha was a good thing. She just hoped he understood that he could rely on her if he needed her.

“This may sound a little strange… but hear me out… what about talking to Fiona?”

“What?!”

“I know, ok, but listen,” Bell said quickly. “She is a strong warrior, and I’m sure she understands some of what you are going through. Plus, with her father, she probably at least knows some of the guided meditations.”

“Her father?” Ashleigh asked. “What do you mean?”

“He was a berserker,” Bell stated.

“What?!” Ashleigh cried out in disbelief.

“How do you not know this?” Bell asked. “He was a lower rank. He didn’t get far up the chain of command before he met his mate and joined her in Summer.”

“Are you serious?” Ashleigh asked.

“Yes!” Bell laughed. “Seriously, did you not research her before trying to meet her and get her approval?”

“You did?”

“Of course!”

‘Of course, she did.’ Ashleigh laughed.

“Anyway, the point is, you should talk to her.”

“I don’t know,” Ashleigh replied. “She’s been coming at me hard in these tests… wouldn’t asking her for help make me look weak.”

“Asking for help is only a weakness if you make it one.”