Chapter 3 — Dry scrape, burn and perforate! • Episode 3–1 — First Participation ①

Translated by KaiesV

Edited by KaiesV

「Please don’t screw around!!」

Slamming my fist on the counter with such force that my own hand ached, I yelled at the doll elf in front of me, a simulacrum of a beautiful young girl.

The Magical Bureau is a building whose role is similar to that of an administrative facility like city hall in reality, a facility that is seldom used by girls like Magical Girls who are in full bloom and in full play. Compared to the leisure complexes in the area, it is far from being as noisy as it should be, which is why it is rare for me to be as noisy as I am, and I have certainly attracted attention, albeit discreetly.

I really don’t want to be this obvious either. But how can this be without yelling at them!? If this kind of thing can go on… What have I ever done to deserve this…!

「As we mentioned earlier, we are currently out of the prize you requested. Please wait for the next shipment. The date of arrival has not yet been determined.」

「That’s like saying you can’t get them! I…! I became a Magical Girl for that very reason!! And that’s what you mean by sold out!? You had it until just recently!? This, this blatant harassment…!!」

I couldn’t mention my name again in a situation where I was the focus of attention from other Magical Girls, but I was the first to tell the fairy in front of me what I wanted.

In the list of items that can be redeemed for points, there has been one item, a sex change medication. It was the purpose for which I became a Magical Girl, and it is the magic potion that I will absolutely need in order to return to my original form.

There is a part of me that is a little unsure of whether I really need or want to go back to being a man these days, but I still wanted to make sure I had that magic potion so that if I wanted to go back then, after this battle was over, I could go back immediately.

It takes a huge amount of points to get that medicine, and until now I have been fighting to earn points in addition to protecting Elephant-san, but with the recent defeat of the Duke-class Diest, the points have reached their target value.

But when I went to replace it, it was missing from the list. At that time I did not understand for a while what was happening. I checked the list over and over again, thinking I had missed something. I used the search function to search for various keywords. Still no sex change pills were found.

With a bad feeling, I told myself that it might have stopped showing up due to some mistake, and tried to contact them through the inquiry form available at Magiphone, only to receive a mechanical reply that said,『We are currently out of stock, please wait for the next shipment.』

I am sure this fairy has no idea how I was feeling at the time.

My heart was pounding so loudly that I felt dizzy, and I was afraid that if I let up, I would collapse.

I almost cried when I realized that this was not possible, that in the end I was all in the palm of Jack’s hand, a fairy, and that no matter how hard I tried, there was no meaning to it all. Because I can’t think of anything but Jack’s fault for selling out like this, as if he had planned for it.

If it had been me before, I would have gone berserk in desperation there. Or maybe it all just didn’t matter anymore and I quit being a Magical Girl.

But I am no longer the same person I was before.

I’m not the one that no one cares or grieves over whether I make enemies of the world or die in the field.

If I do that, Elephant-san will be worried. Elephant-san will be sad. I do not want to make Elephant-san feel that way.

That is why I went all the way to the Magic Bureau to ask them directly. I explained to the department contact person who manages the various aspects of the prizes that can be redeemed with points that I desperately needed a sex change pill.

The response from the staff member I spoke with was a model of bureaucratic response, no different from the response I would get from an inquiry form, and as we continued our conversation, my blood gradually began to boil, and before I knew it, I had launched into an evil gamer combo of a platform-punching tirade.

「We apologize for not being able to provide you with adequate service.」

The doll fairy bowed deeply and offered a curt but sincere apology.

It wasn’t that I wanted this fairy to apologize. She just happen to be in charge of this department, and there is no connection between this fairy and the fact that sex change pills are sold out.

……That’s right. From this fairy’s point of view, I’m unreasonably angry right now. It was Jack who is at fault, so this is not much different from taking it out on him.

I can’t let Elephant-san see me like this creme de la creme.

Reconsidering that this is not the way to go, I take a few deep breaths to calm myself down.

「It’s Jack, isn’t it? That pumpkin bought it all up, didn’t it?」

「We are unable to provide information on customers who have redeemed prizes.」

「Can’t you bring him here?」

「We are sorry, but we are unable to respond to your request.」

It’s a goodwill gesture. It seems that no further progress will be made by continuing the conversation here. The Magical Girls around me are probably listening in, and I should pull back for the day.

But then, what should I do? I had previously filed a no-go report with the organization that monitors and evaluates Magic Bureau under Jack’s watchful eye, but nothing has been done since then after all. There is no evidence that Jack is involved in this case, and I don’t think the organization, which seems to be even just a little bit heavy-handed, is going to make a move.

Where is Jack now and what is he doing? I haven’t heard from him in over a month since that day when I last called him and made friends with Elephant-san, but that guy is still a fairy who supports new Magical Girls. I wonder if he was sticking with the Elephant-san’s group and supporting them out of my sight.

Maybe I should ask Elephant-san and the others about the whereabouts of Jack once.

「……?」

The gaze of the doll elf, who had been staring at me without saying a word as I remained silent and lost in thought at the counter, suddenly turned behind me for a moment.

In addition, I didn’t realize it while I was thinking about it, but the other Magical Girls were a bit buzzed.

I turned around to see what was going on, and I recognized the person in my field of vision and glared at him with a wrinkle between my eyebrows that I could see myself.

「You’re quite early, Sylph-san.」

「Ah, ———Crosseau-san.」

That was dangerous. I almost called her Devil.

I didn’t know what kind of rumors would be spread if I suddenly called Crosseau-san the Devil in such a public place. This person seems to be very good at standing up for such rumors to her advantage, so she cannot afford to be a rag.

But I stopped just in time, so I am safe.

「Nice to meet you, you must be Tyrant Sylph-chan? I’m Doppelganger. I’m glad to meet you.」

「…Tyrant Sylph. Please treat me well.」

A tall woman with long, straight, scarlet-colored hair with blue mesh in some places, who approached with the Devil, introduced herself saying so.

Is this the fourth on the pecking order, Doppelganger-san, the Octopus Witch? I knew what she looked like because I had seen the official website and videos beforehand, but, uhh, when I saw her in person, she was much bigger than I thought she would be…

As far as I could tell from my research, she is the oldest of the current Witches and will graduate this year if all goes well. She seems to be the same generation as Monarch Sprite, whom I have heard some rumors about, so she is a veteran among veterans with a career of nearly a dozen years of activities.

Since the role of putting together the Witches was passed on from Monarch Sprite-san to the Devil, it seems that Doppelganger herself does not have any experience in putting together the Witches, but she is using her many years of experience as an assistant to help the Devil after Sprite-san retired.

In other words, this person is with the Devil and is unquestionably on her side. I need to be on the lookout.

「It’s a little early for the Tea Party. What can I do for you?」

「It’s nothing, whatever you want to call it.」

「We heard that you were in some kind of trouble and came here to mediate. We have contacts at the top, so if you’d like, we can talk to them about it.」

「…Please don’t mind me. We’ve just finished talking.」

It looks like they showed up at a very opportune time, but since the Witch’s Tea Party is scheduled to be held this afternoon, they probably just arriving at the venue early to prepare for it. So this offer must have been a soul-searching attempt to ingratiate myself because I happened to seem to be in trouble. It is impossible for this Devil to have pure good intentions.

「…Wait, that’s not what you said. I’m getting the feeling that you’re being very cautious of me too.」

「That’s strange, maybe I was not feeling well today.」

「This looks just like Rabbit-chan’s pattern from before.」

「Is it really? Rabbitfoot-san is full of energy and sometimes too tomboyish for me, but I think Sylph-san is the quiet one.」

「That’s not what I meant…!」

Doppelganger-san grabs the Devil by the arm and drags her forcibly away, and they are whispering about something at a little distance. I can’t hear them because their voices were so low, but it’s very ballsy of them to engage in a private conversation in front of the person in question.

It would be troublesome to continue being entangled in this situation, so I’ll leave you guys alone while you two are engrossed in your conversation. I can spend a reasonable amount of time outside and come back when it’s time for the tea party.

「Ah, just give me a minute, Sylph-chan! Earth! I know you’re in there anyway!? Come out! You stalking bastard!!」

I tried to sneak out by stealth, but Doppelganger-san noticed me and stopped me. What a hassle…

I’m still a little unknown as a Witch, so even if I made a little noise, it would only be a little noticeable, but these two are well known and have attracted more attention than ever. I don’t like to be gawked at…

「Ohh, of course I’m here. Nice to meet you, Tyrant Sylph.」

「…? Who are you?」

I don’t know if it was in response to Doppelganger-san’s call, but a globe suddenly appeared in the air and spoke to me.

Perhaps he was a fairy, but I wonder if he was somewhat a powerful fairy that he was summoned all the way in this situation.

「You are uninformed, Tyrant Sylph. I am the one who is hiding! It’s the extremely handsome fairy Earth-sama, one of the highest ranking fairies and the head of the Bureau of Magic!」

「Director…? You were that?」

By being the director, you mean you are the most important fairy in this Magic Bureau, right?

It’s a good thing now that fairies look so different in a thousand different ways, but he doesn’t seem to have the attitude of a very high up person.

I mean, Doppelganger-san called him and he came out as a matter of course, but maybe he was stalking me on a regular basis…?

「Hey, hey! What’s with those eyes who sees me as filth! Don’t get me wrong! I’ve got Doppelganger following her around just to make fun of her!」

「Nothing seems to be a misunderstanding…」

No, or rather, it doesn’t matter.

I didn’t ask her to introduce me to any bigwigs, but he came to me by force, didn’t he?

It’s not good when he come out like this. If I honestly talk to Doppelganger-san, I will owe her a debt, and if I don’t talk to her, she may later ask why I didn’t tell her at the time when I sued her…

Does this mean she isn’t the Devil’s helper just for show?

「Don’t get me wrong, Sylph-chan. I didn’t call this guy for you. I was having trouble with being stalked, so I’m just forcing you to deal with it. Don’t tell me that I owe you or that I’m in trouble. Well, we’ll go on ahead. See you at the Tea Party.」

「I would be happy to consult with you, Sylph-san, if you would like. I would like to help you too, Sylph-san.」

「Alright, I’ll go. I’m not going to argue with you.」

「Please wait, Doppelganger-san, there is still plenty of time. There is no need to rush so much.」

「Shut up for a minute. Oh God, why do I have to keep telling you over and over again that you don’t understand these parts…」

…Apparently, aside from the pecking order, Doppelganger-san is by far the superior in terms of pure hierarchy. The Devil that was forcibly dragged along could have resisted if she had wanted to, but it meekly followed Doppelganger-san, although she did not seem to be convinced.

It seems that the Devil had a plan for her, but is Doppelganger-san working with a different agenda than the Devil? Or is she acting? Is there any reason to go out of her way to show that the two of them are not monolithic in the eyes of other Magical Girls? I have no clue. But maybe it was out of concern for me that Doppelganger-san went out of her way to say that so that everyone around her could hear.

Because there are several witnesses here. Doppelganger-san has created a situation for herself in which she cannot say later that she owes me that time.

I can’t say for sure yet, but I think that Doppelganger-san may be different from the Devil.