Chapter 83

83 Lost in Him

“This is for you...” I heard Ace’s voice whispering softly as he crouched down in front of me.

His face came into my field of vision before I felt something cold and wet against my cheek. Glancing to the side, I could see that he had pressed a can of cold fruit juice against my cheek.

“Thank you...” I murmured when he placed the cold can into my hands.

“Feeling better?” he asked in a voice so gentle that my heart clenched hard in my chest.

I just nodded my head at him as I tried to avoid his gaze. What is wrong with me? I just...couldn’t understand myself.

“No...I don’t know...sorry...” I murmured as if close to tears.

Why am I so confused?

He was so rough with me and then he’s so kind and gentle with me. It made me feel so confused and I didn’t know how I should be feeling anymore. Ace...he’s so hard for me to understand. He does all that to me and I melt just at his touch. He gave me so much pleasure that I cried out and begged him for more. He seduced me and I found myself willingly dancing to his tune. Then I get mad at him for reasons that I don’t even understand. What do I want from him? What do I want from myself?

When he smiles at me and when he apologizes, I can’t find it in me to get mad at him at all. Perhaps, it was precisely because of that that I was upset and mad at myself instead.

.....

“You should go to bed. It’s late,” Ace said calmly.

Before I could react, Ace had scooped me up into his arms again. It was amazing how he had so much energy to handle me so effortlessly. Without another word, Ace carried me into the bedroom and placed me gently onto the bed. My body froze when my back hit the bed as I thought of Ace getting into bed with me and what may follow.

To my surprise, instead of getting on the bed with me, Ace just turned and headed for the bedroom door. I propped myself up into a sitting position on the bed as I stared at his back.

“Ace?” I called out his name questioningly before I could stop myself.

“Hmm...” Ace made a sound in response.

“Where are you going?” I asked softly.

“Nowhere. I’m going to sleep on the couch outside. Good night,” Ace replied curtly.

The door closed behind him, and I was the only one left in the bedroom. After blinking my eyes rapidly a few times in surprise at Ace’s sudden departure, I began preparing for bed. It had been a long day and I could use some rest. Catching up on sleep was definitely one of the things on my top priority list of things to do. I switched off the lights and laid on the king-sized bed with my eyes closed as I tried to relax and go to sleep.

...

I must have fallen asleep sometime after turning off the lights because I found myself in dreamland. It was strange how I knew that I was dreaming and how the body just goes along with the mind as it dreams about strange or random things. The dream that I was seeing was definitely one of those random dreams. Just like many dreams that I’ve had recently, I saw Ace in my dream. I’ve been seeing him so often in my dreams now that it no longer surprised me.

Ace sat in the middle of a grass field, and it was bright and sunny. The weather seemed perfect for a picnic, and for some reason, Ace had a puppy on his lap and he was playing with it. I watched from where I was standing as Ace began stroking the puppy’s head as the puppy wagged its tail happily. I had no idea why I was dreaming about this but in my dream, I could feel my overwhelming happiness and joy.

Suddenly, the sunny blue sky turned dark and rain clouds started taking over. It didn’t take long for it to rain and then it poured. The wind turned harsh, and the roar of thunder resonated all around us. Huge raindrops fell onto me and soaked my clothes. The puppy started to panic from the loud sound of thunder. After struggling, the puppy freed itself and began running away. Ace got up and ran towards me with a worried look on his face. Suddenly, I could feel his panic and I got scared of losing the puppy.

Although I knew that it was nothing more than a dream, the tightness in my chest felt real as I struggled to contain my worries. Ace began saying something, but the sound of the rain drowned out his voice and I couldn’t hear what he was saying at all. Suddenly, pain shot through my head like I was starting to have a migraine.

“Ace...”

The next thing I knew, my eyes had already sprung opened and I was staring into the darkness right in front of me. The bedroom was dark and silent. My eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness and soon I could make out some outlines. I sighed softly to myself when I realized that I must have had that dream because I was worrying about Ace. He gave up the bed so that I could get my rest which meant that he had to sleep on the sofa. I wonder how he’s doing right now. Is he sleeping well?

The digital clock next to the bed showed that it was around 3AM which meant that I didn’t sleep for that long. It was late in the night but there were many hours left before morning would arrive. Although I knew that I should try my best to go to sleep, my worry for Ace took over and I had to admit that I probably won’t be able to fall asleep.

Karina...what are you doing? Why am I doing this?

–To be continued...