CH 51.2

Perhaps not unexpected, but Bai Yao has once again found Mu Mu’er in between the gap of his bedroom wardrobe and the wall. The boy forced himself into that tiny, suffocating gap, squeezing his arms, legs and body together. It’s a terrible sight.

There is barely even any space to nudge him out. Bai Yao can’t even see his face clearly, and the only thing he can touch is Mu Mu’er’s feet which are poking out a little.

He calls out gently, “Mu’er?”

The feet retracts a little.

Bai Yao sits down on the bedroom floor, but does not say anything more. He sits together with him for a quarter hour, almost.

If he does try to pry Mu Mu’er out, Bai Yao can’t help but feel like he’d be pulling an unwilling cat out by the tail. It’s terribly cruel and unthinking.

However, Bai Yao is also worried Mu Mu’er will begin to go numb continuing to squeeze himself up like this.

Bai Yao can’t fit in the gap at all, so he can only poke and then hold the naked ankle exposed outside, asking, “whose little paw is this, hmm?”

The boy’s ankle is quite small, like that of a little sparrow that Bai Yao can envelop with one hand.

Mu Mu’er does not answer. In fact, he doesn’t even so much as make any noise. Rather than a sparrow, he’s more like a pitiful, frightened quail.

“Good boy, come back out, Yaoyao will give you hugs,” Bai Yao shakes the ankle a little.

Bai Yao can’t think of any better way to lure him out. Hopefully, like telling a little puppy or kitty that he has snacks, the little animal will be unable to resist.

Thankfully, Mu Mu’er pokes his head out a little, and observes Bai Yao’s open arms with a sombre expression. After a brief hesitation, he slowly nudges himself back out, and buries himself in Bai Yao’s chest.

Mu Mu’er curls himself up in Bai Yao’s lap like a cat, resting his head on his shoulders, and positions himself comfortably, before settling down.

Bai Yao lets him hug and embrace for quite a while, reassuring him by rubbing him on the back of his hand, and also rocking gently back and forth a little.

When the boy’s breathing becomes more calm, Bai Yao lifts Mu Mu’er by the shoulder so that he sits up. Then he looks closely at his expression.

That’s when he finds traces of a trail of tears; his eyes are also redder than usual. He looks like he had his beloved shells robbed from him.

“Why did you cry?” Bai Yao runs his hand past the trails, when suddenly, a few more tears emerge from the corners of his eye.

Mu Mu’er didn’t make any noise, not even when crying. Only now, in his lap, in front of Bai Yao, does he cry a little more audibly.

Bai Yao has never been good at soothing someone. So he can only touch Mu Mu’er on the lips, while trying to cheer him up with something Mu Mu’er is often happiest about, “don’t cry. If you turn into a sea otter, Yaoyao will give you belly rubs, and Yaoyao will smooth your fur!”

This proves ineffective.

Mu Mu’er doesn’t respond at all for a few seconds.

Bai Yao can’t help but start overthinking conspiracies. Did Mu Yi mistreat Mu Mu’er? Did he run away from him? Could, could he have tortured Mu Mu’er? Sold him? Beat him?

His imagination is making him anxious and stressed, but he also doesn’t want to scare the boy. Yet, he feels like he has to know, so he decides to ask in the end, “does your older brother treat Mu’er badly?”

Mu Mu’er shakes his head.

A bit later, “he did not.”

“Did Mu’er make your older brother angry?” Bai Yao then asks, while trying to look Mu Mu’er in the eye, “was he angry with you?”

Mu Mu’er still shakes his head, but would not look at Bai Yao. He simply looks at an old dent on the wooden floor.

“Mu’er, are you scared of your older brother?” Bai Yao puts his fingers on Mu Mu’er’s chin. He wants him to show his true reaction, but he also couldn’t bring himself to force him.

Mu Mu’er pauses. He falls into thought, before finally, nodding almost imperceptibly.

Before Bai Yao can ask why, Mu Mu’er explains, “gege does not want Mu’er anymore. Mu’er has to go away. He does not like Mu’er, so Mu’er does not want to like him anymore.”

Mu Mu’er has talked about his possible abandonment a little when Qi Ya was here before, but Bai Yao saw that Mu Mu’er was not too happy to talk about it, and did not force the issue.

The boy is still recovering from his cry earlier, and clearly doesn’t want to say anything more. He puts his head back on Bai Yao’s shoulder, and doesn’t even dare making too much noise in his hiccoughs and coughs. His body shakes a little instead every so often.

Bai Yao runs his hand across the boy’s back over and over, while thinking about what to do next.

Unless he legs it out the window with Mu’er and run all the way to the north pole, they still have to go back downstairs eventually.

And the man does not appear the type to give up easily or to practise ethical restraint in his means. Bai Yao is not likely to be able to hide Mu Mu’er successfully.

He lets Mu Mu’er calm down once more in his lap. When his sobbing stops, Bai Yao finally asks, “Mu’er, do you still want to see your older brother?”

There is no response.

Bai Yao waits patiently, and is about to ask again after half a minute, when Mu Mu’er moves. He looks up, with reddened eyes, “with Yaoyao.”

Bai Yao understands what he is saying. He nods, and squeezes Mu Mu’er’s hand tightly.

“Ok. With Yaoyao. Yaoyao is always here.”