CH 40

Leaving Mu'er Behind?

Translated by boilpoil

Edited by boilpoil

Auntie Zhang left after over an hour. Mu Mu’er waves at her as she leaves, and remembers to lock the door when he comes back in.

He first walks about downstairs, first looking at the new leaves from the jatropha curcas, then opening the fridge to see if his unfinished chocolate pudding is still there, but he is also reluctant to eat it. He seems lost for something to do, and heads back upstairs when he becomes bored.

Bai Yao sees him, and lies back onto the carpet, pretending he was asleep.

Mu Mu’er finally remembers his big floof when he’s upstairs, and hops over for rubs – belly rubs. He sits on the ground, and plays with the fur of the underbelly.

“Big cat, are you tried? You can lie down around.”

He is looking fixedly at the tummy area. His intentions are clear as day.

Bai Yao opens his mouth to reveal his sharp teeth to scare Mu Mu’er a little, but the boy’s eyes only sparkle as he tries to touch them.

“…”

Defeated, Bai Yao lies flat on the ground to reveal his tummy.

The snow leopard’s fur is soft and thick. Mu Mu’er can sink his hand right in, and it feels like being hugged by the clouds in the sky. He’s having the time of his life.

He is still holding the persimmon he saved for Bai Yao in his other hand; so, with one hand still on Bai Yao’s tummy, he looks at the persimmon and starts thinking.

He realises, he hasn’t seen Bai Yao for a whole day now. He furrows his brow, and asks, “big cat, do you know where Yaoyao is?”

Bai Yao tilts his head, pretending he doesn’t understand.

“I didn’t see him for so long…”

Mu Mu’er stops his belly rubs, and stands back up, looking around the apartment. He is a little nervous now, and mumbles to himself, “Yaoyao.”

However, there is only the big fluffy cat and him here. He thinks for a while, and heads back downstairs, wondering if Bai Yao might be downstairs, and he just didn’t see him.

Bai Yao sits on the carpet and waits for the boy to return. Less than two minutes later, Mu Mu’er, panicked, is rushing upstairs.

The helpless expression already sends waves of regret through Bai Yao’s mind. His tail whips about in shame. He knows the boy feels really insecure all the time, especially afraid of being alone and is always bullied. How did he ever think teasing him in this bastard manner was a good idea?

He’s definitely overdone it. The little sea otter doesn’t understand teasing or joking. The most important person in his life is Bai Yao. He has become reliant on him, unable to leave. He cannot find him; he thinks he is abandoned.

Bai Yao immediately gets up to walk back inside, but before he can transform, Mu Mu’er’s state further deteriorates.

Not even his big floof can soothe him any. His attention is completely drawn to the window – at the path outside, leading into the town. He is asking very quietly, “… Yaoyao, is Yaoyao leaving Mu’er?”

Mu Mu’er turns back around, and Bai Yao can only see the tears rolling out of his eyes, past his reddened nose.

“Yaoyao, Yaoyao, Yaoyao…” Mu Mu’er’s voice becomes quieter and less intelligible, descending into whimpers, “Mu’er is good boy, and will not eat scallops anymore. Come back for Mu’er.”

He hasn’t told Yaoyao how much he likes him yet. Why is Yaoyao leaving him already?

Bai Yao’s heart is torn. He wants to choke himself to death. He runs into the bedroom, transforms, grabs a T-shirt and pants, and immediately rushes out. He is wearing his T-shirt inside out, even.

He went too far.

Outside, Mu Mu’er is already lying on the carpet in the foetal position against the sofa, with his arms wrapped around his legs and his head buried within. Hae does not even raise his head at the noise. It’s a pitiful scene.

Bai Yao doesn’t want to scare him, so he sits down in front of him, and is going to touch his shoulder, but stops beforehand, and calls out, “Mu’er…”

The mere sound makes Mu Mu’er raise his head to look at him immediately. His eyes brighten.

“Yaoyao!” He leaps into Bai Yao’s embrace. Small though he is, Bai Yao almost falls over backwards.

“Yaoyao! Yaoyao!” Mu Mu’er yells out a few times, “Mu’er is a good boy. No scallops, no fried rice, nothing. All Yaoyao can eat. Please, Yaoyao, do not leave, Mu’er.”

His words are a mess. He is clearly nervous beyond words.

Bai Yao hugs Mu Mu’er tightly, trying to help him feel secure. His hand runs down his back again and again, “I’m here. Mu’er, I’m here. Yaoyao is always here for you. Yaoyao will not leave you.”

The boy is still shaking. His body is still tense. He squeezes himself into Bai Yao’s lap as much as possible, sticking his face to Bai Yao’s chest.

Bai Yao’s chest feels tight, tight with regret. His limbs are also tense and painful. All the words are shards of glass slicing him. He is regretful and ashamed, but what is done is done. He must now do his best to cheer Mu Mu’er up. He continues running his hand through the boy’s hair, and apologises.

“I’m sorry. It’s alright. I’m here.”

He says a lot of ‘sorry,’ but he still does not know how to explain to Mu Mu’er that he is the snow leopard. He tries several times, but gives up.

At least, right now, he has truly come to know how important he is to Mu Mu’er.

He doesn’t know the amount exactly, but very, very important.

Mu Mu’er doesn’t know why Bai Yao is apologising, but he also says ‘it’s alright’ in reflex. His voice still quavers.

After a hiccough, he looks up a little at Bai Yao, and his eyes are clear as the purest water. The skin around is reddened, and there are still streaks of tears remaining.

Before Bai Yao asks, the boy stops hugging Bai Yao, and opens his hand, to reveal the slightly crumpled persimmon he held in his hand the whole time.

“Persimmon, from auntie Zhang,” he says, putting it carefully in Bai Yao’s hand, “it is sweet. Very tasty.”

Mu Mu’er, with his eyes still on Bai Yao, leans into the embrace again, and adds, “for Yaoyao to eat.”

The persimmon is warm, having been held in Mu Mu’er’s hand the whole evening. This makes it the most unique treasure in the world.

“Also…” Mu Mu’er pauses, and his eyes widen. It’s almost like he forgot what he is going to say, but finally, “Mu’er likes Yaoyao, a lot, a lot, the most a lot!”

Then Mu Mu’er looks as if he’s completed a holy duty, and returns back into Bai Yao’s embrace, hugging him, and relaxes.

Bai Yao holds the persimmon in his hand for a while, and does not eat it in the end. Instead, he puts it on the coffee table in the living room, on the most visible space.