57 • Night of Determination

As such, the restful dinner was successfully completed.

Once you've filled the dishes as usual and closed one of the candlestick lids, it's time to face the troubles.

"... Be the first to say, Asta"

And as I lift my hands and loosen my golden brown hair, Ey-Fa says quietly.

"All the words of Gazran-Rutim and others just now are directed at you. Of course I give my opinion and advice as a parent, but you're the last one to make a decision."

"Oh. I know."

"And to put it further… the position of Fa's house, etc. in this matter, does not have to be taken into account"

"Huh?"

"This is a legitimate deal. Not who will be punished where you fail, nor will the fringe between Fa and Rutim be deeper where you succeed. There is nothing else to gain or lose."

The loose hair flickers into darkness.

As a rule, unmarried women don't cut their hair, so the eye-fa hair is very long.

"... so what happens to those two? What happens if I make a mistake?

"I can't help it. They will only lose the trust of their families and mock them. Rutim's successor ruined Mizu's wedding, and he's a foolish fool who tried to throw hunter pride in the game."

"Ooh. At times like this, I really appreciate your character for saying Zubazuba.... Ah! I really don't know what to do!

"Don't speak up.... What's bothering you, you? I just don't think it's a safe victory to lose."

and the eye = fa, which is also slammed against the wall, leans his little neck.

"What Gazran-Rutim and others are looking for is the dish you've been cooking. Nothing needs to be strange. Suki, Hanba-gu, Supu, Baked Poitan... that would surprise and shock most of the humans gathered at the feast"

"Maybe that's true... but it's supposed to be something that makes you luxurious with a bunch of different vegetables in a pot at a feast, right? That's what Mia Ray's old man said yesterday, isn't it? That's why I made the decision to get Tino to use Prado in the bump production."

Ey-fa shakes her hair again.

It's kind of harder to see the expression than usual if the beast fat candle burns badly.

"So, no matter how dishes come out like you've never seen before, if they're barely used with the colorful vegetables that should be used, some people might be dissatisfied, uncomfortable, or angry there? Besides, if my cooking doesn't suit your mouth - for that person, the feast would be ruined, wouldn't it?

…………

"Besides, this is a real wedding. It is also possible that a pot of boiled Poitan is as good as ever for a person with a stiff head or a father who is more bigoted than Donda-Lou. If there are 100 of them, there are a hundred preferences. I had just forgotten the obvious, and I was just left alone with Donda-Lou to hurt my pride as a cook. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

"Asta. What the hell are you... afraid of like that? I don't know."

It sounded like it was going to hurt, the voice of Ey-Fa.

"Still, Gazran-Rutim wanted you to take his turn. The life of that night when you are bewitched by an irreplaceable family member in a feast that is most important to you. I hope to entrust that to you. [M] Isn't that very, very honorable -?"

"It's an honor. This is the kind of honor you're afraid of. That Gazran-Rutim and Ama-Min are trying to trust me from the bottom of my heart to let me do such a serious job. I'm scared because I can clearly feel it."

"... I still don't know."

The shadow of Ai-Fa shrugs his shoulders.

I stood up, advanced my legs to the sight of Ai-Fa, and lowered my back again.

"... what?" and Ai-Fa looks at me suspiciously.

With a slight frown and a much calmer eye than I had imagined.

"Sorry. I couldn't see your expression and got anxious. If this close range is depressing, let me light another candlestick."

Ai-Fa shook his head loosely and said.

"Asta. Are you having that much anxiety when you say you've almost fulfilled that promise with Donda-Lou, too? This is the first time I've seen you so weak when it comes to your cooking."

"... until now, my emotions have been teased. I guess I could even challenge a slightly reckless battle because I had that strong feeling about wanting to help Limi-Luu or Ziba-Lu or somehow convince Donda-Lu. But this time, no."

I said, staring into Ai-Fa's beautiful blue eyes.

"I owe the Gazran-Rutims nothing. I don't even know if those people are saying the right thing. I don't even know if what I get involved in is the right thing to do. Because I..."

"You're not from this world, are you?

Eye-Fa's eyes glowed a little grumpy.

"... I knew your eyes seemed cloudy right now, Asta. You were supposed to be the one who could have found that right path when he was relative to Donda-Lou, and now you see nothing."

"Hey, what's up?

"Don't you see? I don't need any gratitude or edge. It doesn't matter if it's right or not. Didn't Gazran-Rutim also say it wasn't you who decided that? - They just want your help."

Suddenly, he grabbed my arm.

Even though it was close, Ey-Fa's face softly approached the tip of his nose.

With the leftover incense of dinner - the scent of Ai-Fa, too, approaches.

"You're not the one who determines your value. It's Gazran-Rutim and Ama-Min. No gratitude, no friendship, no goodwill, no generosity, no such thing has anything to do with it, no need for it. They just acknowledged your power and told you to sell it for one night. That would mean paying the price."

"It's..."

"Whether you get the kind of results you thought you would get with that, that stuff is the responsibility of the person who bought it, not the person who sold it is sick talking about it. Asta, you..."

And, hey, I = fa got a thought-provoking look, and eventually said.

"... you bought the capital's food today in Accommodation Town, Asta?

"Oh. It wasn't tasty, but it wasn't"

"Why did you buy such a thing by wearing a copper coin?

"Huh? That's because... it just smelled delicious and it didn't look bad."

"Was that a flavor worth the price?

"No, you found the price of a bottle of fruit liquor expensive"

"Then can you complain and tell me to return the copper coin?

I don 't--

I thought I saw something.

"You found value in that food and paid the price. The Gazran-Rutims also want to find value in your dishes and pay the price. I don't care what people think after I buy it, but I can't complain if I'm dissatisfied"

"Ai-Fa......"

"Besides, the Gazran-Rutims already know how your dishes taste. You said you'd pay for the flavor. How could you refuse to cook in your hometown when you said you were making a living selling it?... I don't know that."

"Ok - ok, aye-fa. I finally figured out what I was afraid of."

The Gazran-Rutims are really just "guests".

I have no edge. Ungrateful. I don't blame you for any smugness. I refuse this story, and I don't have any complaints. I don't need to feel responsible for the fact that there are people out there who want to fuck with my cooking.

That's why - I was scared.

I was scared because they wouldn't hold me accountable for anything.

Being "priced" for my dishes and treated as a "product" - I was more scared than anything else.

"I... wasn't opening my own shop. My dad was the one who ran the store, and I was just helping him with it."

To give a clearer shape to the thoughts that came to my mind, I decided to try to put them in my mouth.

Ai-Fa is quietly listening to me.

"The customer was paying for my father's cooking. Even if I cooked rice, I cooked meat, and I chopped vegetables - that was, after all, my father's cooking, not mine. I think so."

"Oh."

"And I've come to this world. I met a man named you, and he started cooking for you and himself. And I met Rimi-Lou, and I met Ziba-Lou, and I met Donda-Lou. So I got to sift through the food to a bunch of people - but that's not what I was doing in business. I just fed the person I wanted to feed."

"Oh."

"So against Donda-Lou yesterday, I didn't get my own hands on it. I'm not needed as a cook. Because I figured home cooking for my family would be the kind of dish that would satisfy my father's heart."

"Oh."

"So now, on the contrary, you're asking for me as a cook."

A chill runs on my spine all the time.

Even though it's cooler than the day, it's such a thin world to spend time in - my knees start to tremble when I wear it.

"That's what scares me."

…………

"It's not like the people of Lou blessed me. Is it worth paying for my half serving of food? I'm afraid I'm going to be judged fairly and calmly by someone with no edge or gratitude."

"Though you say so -" the face of Ey-Fa, once pulled, approaches again.

"Until now, the light seems to have returned to my dull eyes."

"Oh... because this is the first time I've been expected to have an arm as a cook since I was born. I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm proud."

"So you take this story?

"... I want to take it," I squeezed my words.

My stomach is going to shrink and the meat and poiton I just ate is going to be pushed out.

"If those people expected me to be that far... I want to do what I deserve for it. As a cook, I want to work without embarrassment"

I can't stop shivering.

Really, I think I'm gonna throw up.

I'm amazed at how unwilling I was.

Then - Ai-Fa's palm touched my cheek.

Little or no touch, with a hiccups.

Eye-Fa's eyes are looking at me from so close.

"... me too, proud," Ai-Fa snapped quietly.

That's how eye-fa stares at me - eventually, my tremor, stopped.