CH 2.1

Previous Life 2 (part 1)

Mo Ren's body was temporarily placed in his residence. When Chu Yan and Qiu Quan came in, a few people were scattered. Qiu Quan threw a glance at them and signaled those servants to retreat.

Chu Yan was still outside, staring at the dilapidated woodshed with air leaks everywhere. He had never been to this place, and he didn’t know that there was such a place in his Jiuzhong Hall. When Qiu Quan reminded him that this was Mo Ren's residence, he almost couldn't help questioning the steward of the side hall—how can people live in such a place?

But he held back in the end. After all, the person was dead, so what else was there to say?

Chu Yan pushed open the wooden door, Qiu Quan from the side lifted a lantern up, and Mo Ren's body hidden in the darkness was clearly illuminated by the light.

Chu Yan walked over, bent down, stretched out his hand, and took off the white cloth to look carefully.

Many past events have been blurred, but he could vaguely remember that Mo Ren in the past years was very delicate and beautiful. The cold juvenile in his early years, with a thin and tall body under black clothes, was full of strength, carrying a black long sword on his back, showing no restraint when fighting with others, but was only respectful and docile in front of Chu Yan.

However, that person now laid ice-cold in front of him, thin, dilapidated, with scars everywhere on his body, and looked very ugly.

Chu Yan stretched out his hand to caress Mo Ren's face, it was so cold that he had to retract his hand.

Only then did Chu Yan truly realize that Mo Ren was dead.

If Bai Hua had been with him for 10 years, then Mo Ren had been with him for nearly 20 years.

It was he who fell in love with him when he was a child, gave him a sword, gave him a name, brought him out of the dark and kept him by his side, and asked him to be his sharpest sword.

How could he have expected his ending to be like this, his…..to have been broken and disappeared.

He felt very strange. This person a moment ago fell down in front of him and gasped weakly, listening to him speak ruthlessly. After a few hours that passed in a trance, he then became motionless and like this.

Obviously, before, he was fine even after kneeling in the snow for three days and three nights…..how come you died so peacefully?

Chu Yan felt a little uncomfortable in his chest. He stood up and wanted to leave, but suddenly there was noise from outside the yard, and the door was pushed open roughly.

"Elder Brother!!" A young man in blue with a disheveled bun burst in with tears streaming down his face. He didn't seem to notice that the Hall Master was present, and all the guards who came forward to stop him were violently knocked to the ground by him.

The young man in blue took a few steps forward in a daze, and suddenly burst into tears on Mo Ren's body like a madman.

Qiu Quan's complexion changed. This young man was Ying Yu, the second guardian of Jiuzhong Hall. When he was young, Mo Ren saw talent in him and taught him for more than a year. To him, Mo Ren’s existence was that of a brother, a teacher and a friend

Seeing Ying Yu's appearance now, Qiu Quan feared that he might offend the Hall Master and be guilty of being disrespectful, thus she hurriedly reprimanded him, "Second Guardian, you are so bold, you are not being polite when you meet the Hall Master, what should be the crime!?"

(t/n What should be the crime-Chinese word, pinyin is gāi dāng hé zuì, which means what kind of crime should be borne. It is what you say when you question the other party's guilt.)

Ying Yu acted as if he never heard her, but only howled heart-piercingly. Chu Yan frowned, waved and said, "Forget it."

Thus, this only sound was heard inside. He was bent down and knelt beside Mo Ren, weeping and sobbing in tears, "Elder brother...Elder brother, wake up, what trial and what crime…..I don't believe it! I don't believe it, Elder brother won't…."

He tremblingly held Mo Ren's already stiff hands, tears vigorously streaming down with every word, "Elder brother...you open your eyes and look at Xiao Yu, okay? Please say something...Are you tired of Xiao Yu?"

"How about…..how about you look at the Hall Master? I know the Elder Brother will surely greet the Master and get to your feet, Xiao Yu will take you to go to the Hall Master, Xiao Yu will accompany the Elder Brother..."

In the end, the young man could only raise his neck, bulging with veins, and whimpered, "Why, why is it like this..."

Qiu Quan couldn't bear to listen anymore. Chu Yan became even more agitated in his heart, and raised his feet to walk away, however Ying Yu's voice still came from behind him.

"Elder brother, you, you are so cold." Ying Yu said softly, as if afraid of disturbing Mo Ren, "Are you cold…..just say, just say you are cold...Elder brother, why do you keep on not saying anything..."

Chu Yan's footsteps gradually accelerated, and his face became colder and colder. Qiu Quan behind could hardly keep up with his pace.

Suddenly, Chu Yan stopped without warning.

He looked outside at the heavy snow. When Qiu Quan raised her head, unexpectedly she saw Chu Yan's lips trembling.

She thought she had seen it mistakenly, but the next moment, Chu Yan grabbed her wrist tight.

"What was the last thing this Master said to Mo Ren?"

Chu Yan's voice was a little weak, and he looked at Qiu Quan like an ordinary child who was confused, with a trace of eager expectation, like a drowning man looking at a life saving straw at hand.

"Tell me.”

Qiu Quan didn't react for a while. Chu Yan tugged at her, and urged eagerly, "What was the last thing he heard, what did I say to him, what is it?"

Qiu Quan felt inexplicable, and hurriedly began to recall. Then her face turned paler and paler.

"Throw…..”

Just one word, and she couldn't go on anymore. Qiu Quan closed her mouth in astonishment, her expression full of disbelief.

Suddenly, big tears flowed from the eyes of the maid who had been trying to keep calm.

Throw it out. 

This was what Mo Ren heard, the last words his master said to him in his life.

Chu Yan staggered a few steps back, turned around suddenly, and left his spot as if fleeing. Behind him, Qiu Quan's uncontrollable crying came, lingering in his ears.

Chu Yan returned to Mo Ren's yard again.

Ying Yu was no longer there. It was very quiet and no one else was present. Chu Yan knocked open the door unsteadily and came in, gasping for breath.

He once again saw Mo Ren's pale face, withered black hair, and scars all over his emaciated body.

It's strange to think about it. Chu Yan seemed to have never said that he didn’t want Mo Ren anymore. No matter how much he made him upset, no matter how much he loathed him, and even hated him when he tried to assassinate Bai Hua, he never thought of completely "not wanting" him—like driving Mo Ren out of Jiuzhong Hall. 

Knowing that this would be the heaviest punishment for Mo Ren, therefore he had never threatened him with this.

In Chu Yan's heart, he could scold him severely, beat him, belittle him, acquiesce others in belittling him……But he shouldn’t have abandoned him, he shouldn’t have. This seemed to be the bottom line, or the last thin thread that carried a thousand weights, which had its ends tied to the old friendship between the two that had been already fragmented. Love was gone, trust was gone, but no matter how it changed, Chu Yan was still Mo Ren's master, and Mo Ren was still Chu Yan's sharp sword of choice, only this would not change.

But today, what did he say?

Did he say he was not wanted anymore? Did he say to throw him out?

Chu Yan looked at Mo Ren's body in astonishment, and suddenly felt flustered, "...Actually, it's not... It's not that I really don't want you…”

No answer, of course there would be no answer.

In that small courtyard, only Chu Yan’s helpless voice was heard. His eyes were in a daze, and he suddenly made a dry and faint chuckle, as his voice trembled inexplicably, "I, I am just joking, ah. In the past, a long time ago, didn't you and I often joke? You, you couldn’t have taken it seriously?"

He wouldn't believe it, Chu Yan thought to himself. It was not the first time Mo Ren had heard his angry words, so how could he be unable to tell? Didn't he always know his master best?

But...but...At that time, I said them so heartlessly, and he, he was injured and unconscious...If so, did he really take it seriously?

What if he did?

With Mo Ren's temperament, maybe he really did take it seriously?

Chu Yan touched Mo Ren's hand again, it was cold and stiff. He thought of Ying Yu's cry—Are you cold? He must have been very cold, in pain, very tired, very sad…..Even Mo Ren couldn't stand it anymore, and eventually died quietly.

I shouldn’t be regretting it.

Chu Yan put the hand that touched Mo Ren's knuckles on his chest that was starting to throb, and suddenly thought.

An undercurrent of anxiety flooded up, and he didn't dare to continue thinking about it. He was afraid that once he continued thinking about it, he would find that he was wrong, wrong all along.

Chu Yan had a splitting headache, he stood up staggeringly, looking around as if looking for something. He longed for someone who could dispel his anxiety and calm him down.

Surrounding him was the darkness of the night, and a corpse lying in front of his eyes. Qiu Quan was not here, and his four shadow guardians were also not here. However, Chu Yan–whose brain was in a mess–was still habitually looking for that person–that person who was always by his side silently for many years.

He believed that even if he made a big mistake, that person would just simply shake his head helplessly and smile wryly as usual, and then clean up all the mess….

That man, who is he? 

Chu Yan frowned slightly, and put one hand on one side of his temple. He felt a wave of dizziness, and his mind was spinning.

Immediately—that’s right, in the next moment, Chu Yan instantly remembered who this person was who had always been by his side.