CH 59

Chapter 59: In Great Wu, Beauty is in Being Fat!

After the commotion caused by Lin Beifan, the Dorro envoys willingly paid for their beloved items. They didn’t want to trouble Lin Beifan and risk having a portion of their money taken away.

The little princess was confused, as she had never seen a diplomat so willingly help pay for a guest’s expenses.

She pulled Lin Beifan to a corner and asked, “Lin Beifan, how could you let the guests pay for themselves?”

“Why not?” Lin Beifan replied. “If I pay for this and that, how much money do I have left for them to spend? So, I have to break their illusion immediately!”

“But if they get angry and report to the Empress, what will you do?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t give them that chance,” Lin Beifan said confidently.

He was sure that he would never pay for anything himself, as the money he saved would go towards his embezzlement. So, he had to save as much money as possible.

After touring around, it was lunchtime. Lin Beifan took everyone back to Liangji Breakfast Shop and said generously, “Dear guests, I have already paid for this place. Order whatever you want and don’t be polite with me!”

“Why is it Liang Ji Breakfast Shop again, Mr. Lin?” someone couldn’t help asking.

Lin Beifan smiled and replied, “Prince Hamu said the food here was good, so I brought everyone here to try it!”

Prince Hamu’s mouth twitched. I just made a polite comment and you took it seriously!

So, they all had another meal of steamed buns, fried dough sticks, and soy milk.

At dinner time, one envoy asked, “Sir Lin, is it Liang Ji Breakfast Shop again for dinner?”

He had already eaten more than a dozen steamed bun and a bucket of soy milk, and he was already sick of it.

“Don’t worry, it’s definitely not!” Lin Beifan smiled. “It’s closed now, and we’re going to a brothel!”

“Great!” Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

“Prince Hamu, dear guests, tonight’s activities are rich and varied! We not only have good wine and delicious food, but also singing and dancing performances. In addition, I have invited some beauties to accompany us…”

Everyone’s eyes lit up.

“Wow! Good wine, good food, singing and dancing, and beauties to accompany us?”

“Sir Lin, you know exactly what I want! Hehe…”

“I knew it, Sir Lin, you will never disappoint me!”

“I feel so much better already!”

Even Prince Hamu couldn’t help but smile at Lin Beifan’s extravagance. “Sir Lin, this is too much!”

Lin Beifan apologized, “It’s mainly because I didn’t entertain you well enough earlier, and I feel guilty about it. So, I arranged something better for you this time, and I hope you can forgive me for my mistake.”

“There’s no need to apologize. We understand,” the envoys said.

“Let’s go!” Lin Beifan led everyone to a rundown restaurant.

They had big bowl rice and diluted rice wine, but compared to the two meals they had during the day, it was much tastier.

“Before we eat, let’s enjoy a singing and dancing performance!” Lin Beifan clapped his hands, and an old man in a white robe led two strange creatures to perform.

The old man then picked up a small horn and blew it hard. The penetrating sound echoed throughout the restaurant.

Everyone felt goosebumps and dropped everything on their plate.

Under the music, the two strange creatures started to dance.

The scene was filled with a eerie atmosphere.

Prince Hamu looked disgusted and said, “What kind of instrument is this? It sounds terrible!”

“This is our country’s traditional instrument – Suona!” Lin Beifan smiled and continued, “As the saying goes, among all kinds of instruments, Suona is the king! At first listen, you will not understand the meaning behind the music, but after listening again, you become like a person in a coffin. That’s why I invited the best Suona master to perform for everyone.”

“And what about this dance?” Prince Hamu asked again.

“This dance is called the Summoning of Souls, which is the most widely circulated traditional dance in our country. Everyone, whether alive or dead, has seen it at least once! Its main purpose is to invigorate and awaken the soul. When paired with Suona, it’s a perfect match! After watching, don’t you feel more energized?” Lin Beifan laughed.

Prince Hamu was shocked and exclaimed, “Not only am I energized, I’m also starting to feel nervous!”

“Well!” Everyone nodded in surprise.

The little princess sitting next to Lin Beifan silently asked, “How did you get the funeral troupe to perform?”

“Because it’s cheap. It only costs a few taels of silver to perform, so who else should I invite?” Lin Beifan replied nonchalantly.

“But they haven’t died yet. Is it really a good idea to do this?” the little princess asked.

“What’s wrong with giving them a preview of the afterlife?” Lin Beifan countered.

The little princess snorted angrily and turned away to eat her food. After the crazy funeral performance lasted for half an incense stick time, Lin Beifan said, “Alright, everyone can start eating now!”

“Um…Lin Sir, what about the beautiful ladies?” one envoy couldn’t help but ask.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Lin Beifan clapped his hands. More than a dozen obese, large women with flashy attire entered from outside.

“Gentlemen, you finally arrived. You made me wait for so long!”

“Come on, let’s have fun together!”

“Don’t be reluctant to me tonight, okay?”

All present couldn’t help but spit out blood from their mouths.

Prince Hamu was stunned and asked, “Sir Lin, are these the beautiful ladies you mentioned?”

Lin Beifan nodded with a smile, “Of course!”

“But they are too fat!” Prince Hamu exclaimed.

“In Great Wu, we believe that being fat is beautiful!” Lin Beifan smiled. Everyone exclaimed, “What the hell!”

“Not only are they fat, but they are also old…”

Lin Beifan still smiled, “In Great Wu, we respect our elders. The older, the more popular they are!”

Everyone exclaimed again, “What the hell!”

“Sir Lin, why don’t you call one for yourself?”

Lin Beifan answered sternly, “I, as an official, shall remain pure and avoid all things related to women!” Everyone exclaimed, “What the hellllll!”