C1718

When I opened the notebook, a faint fragrance came. Ning Shiqian didn't expect Qin Ruolan to protect the diary so well. On the front page of the diary, there was a note. The faint fragrance was sent out from this note. Looking at the paper and handwriting, it should have been put in not long ago.

Ning Shiqian opened it in silence. Unexpectedly, it was a letter written to him by Qin Ruolan.

Shi Qian my son:

my mother doesn't know when you will see the envelope, but when you can see the letter, mother is no longer there.

I'm sorry that we mother and son should be able to talk in such a way. I'm also sorry that about the things you've always wanted to know, my mother has never told you, but my mother really doesn't know how to tell you those things. But if I don't say it now, I'm afraid your generation won't know the secret. Mom, tell you a story. One is very long My husband came back with a four-year-old child in his arms more than 20 years ago.

That day, my husband came back with a four-year-old child in his arms and said, "this is my old friend's son. They passed away unexpectedly. Leave this child, and the child will live with us in the future."

I asked which old friend it was, because I should know all of his old friends, but my husband kept his mouth shut and refused to say anything more. He only said that he would treat the child as if he were his own. In the future, the child would call us father and mother.

I'm more or less a response, such a child of unknown origin, but I can't ask more, how can I have no idea.

At that time, my own child was only two years old, and I suddenly had a four-year-old child. It was not that I couldn't afford it. However, my husband was obviously better at this child than his own son. Which doubt in my heart became more and more serious.

I have been pressing that question in the bottom of my heart, dare not think, dare not ask, because I am afraid the result is I can not afford.

But every time I see this child call my mother, my heart is always very uncomfortable, so I always forced to smile, the performance is very strange, not warm up.

There is a folk saying that the longer a child stays with us, the more he looks like him. I don't know if this child has stayed with us for a long time, and even looks like my husband more and more like him than my own son.

Others do not know, always think I gave birth to two sons, they are brothers, they say I am blessed, but only I know in my heart that the bitter taste of being eroded torments me day and night.

In fact, I have the answer in my heart, but I don't want to go deep into it. I don't want my family to fall apart. I don't want my husband to leave me. Therefore, I have been silently enduring and enduring, but the bearing capacity of human heart is limited.

I can cheat everyone, but I can't cheat my heart.

That conjecture and doubt has long been rooted in the bottom of my heart.

Finally, when my child was ten years old, I got up the courage to make an end for myself.

I took the child and my husband's hair and went to the hospital for a DNA test.

In the waiting time of two days, I also hesitated. If I didn't know whether it was better to keep everything as it was, I couldn't convince myself, so I went on time that day.

I was not surprised to see that result because I had been psychologically prepared. The similarity of DNA was 99%, and the relationship between father and son was biological.

I might have been more surprised if it wasn't for this answer.

But that day, I sat out late alone. After that, I put away the report and went back quietly.

When I got home, I saw that my son and the child who had been brought back had a good time. Their two brothers had a good relationship. Because they were only two years old, they were almost in and out of the same place. Moreover, the two brothers were so similar that others thought they were twins.

I hear this kind of praise almost every day, but others don't know that every time I listen to it, my heart will be bullied.

I didn't tell anyone about the DNA test. In the days after that, I lived a peaceful life as usual. But in my heart, I had alienated my husband and even resisted. Unconsciously, we had more conflicts. Many times, we would quarrel with each other for trivial matters, especially when I saw the child Son, the heart is suffering.

I know that the child is innocent, but how can I be calm and calm when this child appears in front of me every day, so I can't help but vent my resentment against my husband on the child. The child is more and more afraid of me, afraid to approach me, and walk away when I see me from a distance. I think it's very good, out of sight, out of mind, not let me see I can also restrain my temper a little.

But my son did not understand, also did not understand, repeatedly questioned me, I have nothing to say, can only harshly reprimand, so my son also more and more alienated me, I seem to be trapped in a bureau, cocoon oneself, until one day, betrayal, lonely world is only me, I use indifference to disguise myself, with severe to stop their own Fragile, my son and I are also gradually separated, not to mention the relationship between husband and wife, fell into the freezing point.In fact, what my son didn't know was that our husband and wife had been separated for many years, and we had to go through a formality. We had long been separated from each other and only maintained superficial skills.

Until that day, my husband gave me the divorce papers.

He said, this kind of relationship between husband and wife exists in name only, and the children are big. We don't have to be so tired. Let each other go.

What a high sounding speech. Let go of each other. I just want to laugh and cry after listening to each other. After more than ten years of husband and wife relationship, did I only get such a result in the end? I am not reconciled, I am not reconciled, I began to look at the past few years, thinking that if I had not done that DNA identification, the results would have been different.

But no one can give me the answer, even I do not know, if it is not the result, what will be the result.

We are all middle-aged. Now that we are divorced, what can we do in the future? I began to reflect on myself and convince myself to talk to him about whether we can start over again. But he was determined to divorce.

I was very sad. Later I knew that it was the woman who came back and the woman who had been away for more than ten years appeared again, so he wanted to divorce me.

It's ridiculous to let me raise him and the woman's son. When the woman comes back, they want to have a family reunion. What am I, what am I? What is my son in his heart.