Volume 2 - CH 42

A smile rose to my face at Livia’s words. It was a scornful laugh towards myself. Livia’s words were just too unrealistic.

“No need to joke around. What can I do? In my efforts to avoid any useless killing, how many lives have I taken?”

Just today I killed several werewolves as well as my older brother. Since awhile ago I’ve asserted that I don’t want to pointlessly take lives. This time was the same. If I had more strength, I probably could have suppressed the slimes and stopped that murder.

“…There was no other way everyone would have agreed with in that situation. You’ve thought about it a lot too, right lord Crest?”

Of course I have. Killing without a second thought is proof of being a homicidal maniac. But this was the result of thinking about this and that. Someone still died, and the result was the same.

“Regardless, that doesn’t change that fact that I killed him.”

“There may have been some way you could have used him. However, that would take a long time to pull off. Even with that you may still have ended up killing him regardless. Of course, he was Orphe’s brother. You could have made him a friend as you did with Orphe. However, having killed their comrades, this would have angered the slime tribe. …Furthermore, there were other werewolves there too. I believe a display of power was the best method to gain their consent.”

Livia had a serious expression on her face. Rather than simply trying to comfort me, she seemed to truly think this from the bottom of her heart.

“Had you wavered there, lord Crest, I would have cut him down myself. If I didn’t, I thought the others would distrust you. That’s what you thought yourself, right?”

“…Yeah, you’re right.” As Livia said, that was what I judged to be the case right there on the spot. If I had wavered there, I thought the werewolves and goblins who said they would follow me would have their trust in me shaken. But at the same time, I was denying my past self.

The me of the past said, “I don’t intend to kill” and spared Orphe.

…Of course, the circumstances were certainly different. Orphe had yet to do anything to earn anyone’s resentment. However, my words and my actions have changed from before. I feared this may cause the werewolves and goblins to lose their trust in me. But I made that choice regardless.

“I don’t think It’s correct.”

“Then you can think of it as my decision to kill him. Remember what you told me? To stop you if I ever felt that you were making a mistake.”

“…I guess so.”

“I didn’t think anything you were doing there was wrong. Therefore, everything you did was also what I thought was right.” I let out a sigh. I had the option to push all of my responsibility on Livia and run away. But I wasn’t going to choose that.

“This is the path that I chose. I’m not going to put that on anyone else.”

“…Is that right. If you had chosen to do that, I may have begun to hate you. But it’s also not your responsibility to bear everything alone. I’m also here to carry it with you.” Said Livia with a relived smile. …Livia’s a lot more suited to be a ruler than I am.

“He was Orphe’s brother. I would have liked to save him if I could.”

“Please hold onto that kindness going forward. It’s hard to save everyone, but it’s good to try and save whoever you can.” …I guess so. I let out a sigh and looked at the ceiling. …It’s a hard way to live. “Lord Crest. Killing isn’t bad in and of itself. …In unavoidable in certain situations.”

“…Yeah, I get that.”

“So don’t worry yourself sick over it.”

“You’re right. I’m good now.” I can’t stay feeling down forever. Based on the intel we got from the northern werewolves, we’ll meet with the vampire tribe before long.

We need to prepare for that. I’d like to hurry and get some rest for today so I can get everything ready starting tomorrow. …Also, the gacha will be ending soon. Before that happens, I have a skill I’d like to level up.  

I didn’t have any information as to who the one to name Orphe’s brother was. Apparently, the other werewolves weren’t even aware of it until Orphe heard it from him.

I needed to figure out if he really had a name or not. There are so many things I need to do. I won’t be able to rest forever.

“Well then, it’s about time to go to sleep.” When I turned out the lights in the room, Livia pulled at the hem of my shirt. “Livia?”

When I turned my head to look at her, Livia’s whole face was red. “Lord Crest. I adore you.”

“…Isn’t that what you usually say?” Livia was acting strange. What is it? I can’t put it into concrete words, but something was up.

“Not like that. As a woman.”

“Eh…?” What does she mean by that? That she likes me as a man, perhaps that sort of meaning?

“Am I not attractive? …Of course, I’m not a human, and my chest isn’t particularly large either…”

“…There’s no way you aren’t. It’s pretty difficult for me to get to sleep next to you every night.”

“…Is, that right? …Y, you didn’t ever seem like you would attack me, so… I thought maybe you didn’t see me as a woman.”

“…So you’ve been coming here in hopes of being attacked?” Livia nodded to my question with her face bright red.

“I was expecting it.” The expression Livia made as she said this was unbearably adorable.

Something burst forth from inside me. I hugged Livia tightly. Like that I pushed her down onto the bed.

“Livia…. I love you.”

“…Yes. I love you too, lord Crest.” Livia smiled happily as she hugged me back.