CH 70

After taking medicine for a while, Jiang Zhenhua regained his strength. Seeing this, Jiang Chengyan pulled Ling Hua’an away to leave. Although he was still a little worried, he didn’t want Ling Hua’an to be wronged here.

“Jiang Chengyan, you bastard. Are you trying to make me mad?” 

Jiang Zhenhua clutched his chest, looked at Jiang Chengyan, and said, “have you ever thought about what others would think of you if you let the world know that you are gay? How can you stand in this society in the future?”

Seeing the two of them start to draw swords1 again, Ling Hua’an hurriedly pulled Jiang Chengyan’s arm and whispered, “uncle has a heart condition, don’t be impulsive.”

Jiang Chengyan took a deep breath and said as calmly as possible,  “I’m gay. I was born with it, I can’t change it. If you feel ashamed, then let’s dissolve our father-son relationship. I won’t ruin my happiness for the sake of strangers’ opinions.”

“Why did I give birth to such a disgrace as you!”

“Yes, I should have followed my mother to die. So you would be satisfied, right?” Jiang Chengyan’s voice was choked up.

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Ling Hua’an pulled Jiang Chengyan behind him and said calmly, “Uncle Jiang, I don’t understand the grievances between you two, and I have no right to speak. But now he is not only your son but also my lover. You’re hurting him so much, I can’t stand to see it, so I had to say a few words.”

“Who are you? There is no place for you to talk here.” Jiang Zhenhua’s tone was full of contempt and disdain.

“You……”Ling Hua’an grabbed Jiang Chengyan, his tone remained calm, “Uncle Jiang… I call you uncle, first because you are Chengyan’s father, and secondly out of courtesy. Although my family is average, I understand basic manners. I think uncle Jiang must be angry, so you’re not choosing your words.2“

Ling Hua’an’s words directly blocked Jiang Zhenhua’s words. He glanced at Jiang Chengyan, seeing he snorted coldly but didn’t stop Ling Hua’an. 

“Some time ago, Chengyan was involved in a case of dismemberment. The deceased was a homosexual. Because of his parents, he had to deceive the marriage and have children to fulfill his parents’ wishes. But he was killed and dismembered by his wife. Do you want such a tragedy to happen to your son?”

Jiang Zhenhua’s eyes flickered, obviously listening in, but remained silent.

“I know we are different from others. When we found out, we also had lost our way, also had a painful struggle. But Uncle Jiang, do you know what kind of cruel cognitive process we must go through to get to this step?”

Jiang Zhenhua looked at Jiang Chengyan with less anger and more heartache in his gaze.

“Uncle Jiang, we also desire to be like normal people. To find a beloved one and live an ordinary and common life. Are we not worthy just because we are different from others?”

Jiang Zhenhua’s eyes began to waver. His gaze towards Jiang Chengyan softened a lot, but he remained silent.

“Uncle Jiang, although we can’t be parents, we can understand the ardent hope parents have for their children. All parents in the world hope their children can study well, be admitted to a good university, and find a good job. But what is it all for? It is only because they want their children to have a good life and live happily. Isn’t it the same for you?”

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“Do you know what kind of hardship you will encounter in the future?”

“It’s clear when we decided to be together, we thought about what we would encounter in the future. Uncle Jiang, we don’t care about strangers’ opinions, what we care about is the attitude of our relatives. Captain Jiang’s mother died young, and you are the only one closest to him in this world. If you discriminate against him, how sad should he be?”

Jiang Zhenhua was silent, no matter how many harsh words were said, Jiang Chengyan was his son, his flesh and blood. Also, because of Jiang Chengyan’s mother, he had always felt guilty about Jiang Chengyan, so Jiang Zhenhua had to admit that Ling Hua’an’s words did shake him.

Ling Hua’an could feel the change in Jiang Zhenhua’s attitude. He couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief and waited quietly.

After a long while, Jiang Zhenhua finally let out his breath and said, “You haven’t been home for a year. Go home for a New Year’s Eve dinner today.”

”I…” Jiang Chengyan wanted to refuse but was stopped by Ling Hua’an. His voice changed, and he said, “Hua’an has limited mobility, so I will send him back first.”

Jiang Zhenhua saw the interaction between the two. When he saw that he was indeed his son, who would argue with him at every turn, actually obeyed Ling Hua’s words, he felt very uncomfortable. However, it was not easy for him to ease his relationship with his son, so he didn’t say much.

After leaving the teahouse, Ling Hua’an and Jiang Chengyan returned to the first floor to choose gifts again and went straight home.

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After putting everything in place, Jiang Chengyan hugged Ling Hua’an and said sullenly, “Hua’an, I’m sorry, you have been wronged.”

Ling Hua’an smiled, shook his head and said, “It’s fine. It’s you, don’t blame me for interfering in the affairs between you and your father.”

“Hua’an, do you want to hear the story about my family?”

Ling Hua’an stopped Jiang Chengyan’s waist and said gently, “If you want to talk, I want to listen.”

“My mom and dad are from the same village, considered childhood friends. Two of them grew up together, from elementary school to high school. They are studying in the same school. They have a good relationship. They also agreed to take the same university examination. As they wished, they came to the big city together. They successfully graduated from university, worked smoothly, and got married smoothly. They continue to work hard, from renting a house to buying a house and starting a company, in just five years. Life is getting better and better, and my mother is pregnant, but my father is getting busier and busier. He comes home in the middle of the night every day, full of alcohol. At first, my mother didn’t care. She also loved my father’s hard work with her big belly, which caused premature birth. My mother called the ambulance and went to the delivery room by herself, but he was drunk and unconscious.”

“Did your mother tell you all this?”

“En.” Jiang Chengyan replied in a dull voice and said, “Later, my mother found out that my father had another woman outside. His so-called overtime and socializing were all with that woman. My mother’s heart broke,, and wanted to divorce him, but she endured it because of me. My father, however, not only did not reflect on the situation but also became more and more aggressive. He didn’t even come home for a few days. After a long time, my mother became ill and depressed. When I was eighteen, she finally couldn’t bear to commit suicide.”

“That third person is your stepmother?”

“Over the years, he has changed countless women, and Li Miaozhu is just one of them. But she is more capable than my mother. At least after she entered the Jiang family’s door, my father restrained a lot outside.” 

Jiang Chengyan feels tired, he lay on Ling Hua’an’s shoulder, and he said, “Hua’an, I really can’t forgive him.”

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Ling Hua’an patted Jiang Chengyan on the back to comfort him, “If you don’t want to forgive, then don’t. Don’t make it hard on yourself. I don’t care about how your dad is doing. I don’t care about him, it’s not him that I love. What I care about is you. I don’t want you to be trapped in the past. If you can’t forgive him, then don’t. But I hope you can let go of the past. I’m sure your mom also doesn’t want you to make things difficult for yourself because of her.”

Jiang Chengyan tightened his arm and said, “Hua’an, it’s good to have you!”

“Don’t go. Stay with me for New Year’s Eve.”

Jiang Chengyan pulled the distance between the two, took the initiative to kiss Ling Hua’an’s lips, “Hua’an, let’s do it, let me feel your presence deeply.”

Noticing Jiang Chengyan’s uneasiness, Ling Hua’an did not say much, he moves to deepen the kiss

Jiang Chengyan lingered in Ling Hua’an’s arms for a while, and said, “Hua’an, when I go back home tonight. You and Yan Yu are the only ones left in the house.”

Ling Hua’an was stunned and said, “Are you still going back?”

“En, you’re right. Even if I don’t forgive him, I should let it go. What’s more, I have to plan for our future lives.”

“What are you planning? Is it possible that I can’t afford to feed you?”The corners of Jiang Chengyan’s mouth rose and said, “Do you mean you want me to eat soft rice3?”

Ling Hua’an raised his eyebrows and said, “Yes, Captain Jiang is not willing?”

“It’s too risky to eat soft rice. If you don’t want me one day, what should I do?”

“There is no such day, so Captain Jiang can put his heart in his stomach.4“

The corners of Jiang Chengyan’s mouth were raised repeatedly, “it sounds good. You say, how sweet  this mouth of yours?”

Ling Hua’an said solemnly, “en, whether it’s sweet or not, you won’t know until you taste it.”

Translated by Cafe No. 20 – cafeno20.wordpress.com

Wēng wēng wēng

The phone vibrated, Jiang Chengyan glanced at the caller ID and connected the phone without hesitation.

“Hello, I’ll be back in a while.” Jiang Chengyan hung up the phone in less than a second.

“Your father?”

“En.” Jiang Chengyan rubbed against Ling Hua’an’s arms and said, “Only you and Yan Yu are left at night.”

“Why, jealous? ”

Jiang Chengyan nodded honestly and said, “En, although I know that nothing will happen to you, I just can’t help but feel sour in my heart. I can’t accompany you on New Year’s Eve.”

“Then I’ll call Yan Yu and won’t let him come over.”

“No, I don’t feel comfortable with you at home alone. With Yan Yu around, I feel more at ease instead.”

Ling Hua’an said between laughter and tears, “then don’t go back. I’ll go with you early tomorrow morning to pay New Year’s greetings.”

Jiang Chengyan hesitated and said, “Hua’an, why don’t you go home for the New Year?”

“On New Year’s Eve, they all visit the elderly, it’s unnecessary for me to be there. So I’m not going, I’ll pay my respects tomorrow.”

Jiang Chengyan said in distress “Hua’an, I will never let you celebrate the new year alone in the future.”

“En, so are you still going back tonight?”

“Go back. After all, I have promised. It’s better to talk about it with my dad. Starting from next year, we will celebrate the New Year together. For this year, let it off once and spend it with Yan Yu.”

“Okay, it’s good to go back. But your father has a heart condition, and today is New Year’s Eve. Please bear with it for a while. If you really can’t bear it, come back. I’m waiting for you at home.”

Jiang Chengyan hugged Ling Hua’an tightly, “en, this is my home, our home.”

The two of them had a little more fun for a while until Yan Yu came over, Jiang Chengyan reluctantly drove home.

***

Yan Yu did not ask much, he pasted Spring Festival couplets with Ling Hua’an and cooked New Year’s Eve dinner. He was busy until 8 p.m. before the meal was served. Although there were only two of them, they still cooked a table full of dishes. The two watched the Spring Festival Gala while eating, and occasionally chatted a few words. Although it was a little deserted, Yan Yu was very content.

The bell rang at twelve o’clock in the evening. At this time every year, Ling Hua’an would go to the window and listen to the sound of fireworks outside.  In his mind, he recalled the picture of watching fireworks as a child. Yan Yu’s faint voice described the shape and color of the fireworks outside in his ear.

The sound of the door opening and closing came, and Jiang Chengyan’s voice came from his ears, “Hua’an, I’m back.”