Chapter 26

Yan Ziyi was worried to death those few days.

His construction project was originally progressing smoothly, but in the demolition phase, they encountered a holdout. If this holdout were a civilian, Yan Ziyi would definitely not use force. After all, he had morals, but this household was a bigshot who had gotten used to messing around in the desakota. He wanted an exorbitant price, just to scam him out of money. Could Yan Ziyi let him do this? So, he let Yang Lei come out and settle this matter. Yan Ziyi’s intention was that they didn’t necessarily have to fight. Looking at the other’s attitude, if they could win them over, then they would win them over; if they should buy it, then they would buy it. But after Yang Lei, who already hadn’t felt like fighting in a long time, went, he didn’t waste any words at all. He didn’t have any intention of discussing the matter at all. Once he arrived, he used his fists. They fought a total of five times in three days! An entire five times, five times with real knives and guns. They made those gangsters thoroughly scared of fighting, beating them into submission. They came crying to Yan Ziyi and said, I beg you, I don’t even want money. I don’t want a single cent. Let that Wen Shen stop. Don’t come fight again!!

Yan Ziyi scolded Yang Lei a few times, but within a few days, Yang Lei brought people out and fought another two times. They weren’t even necessary fights. Not to mention beating the other party mercilessly, even he seemed to have an extra life. It was a completely fatal fighting method. When Yang Lei’s brothers who were with him returned, they secretly said they were really afraid when they saw Yang Lei fight. They were afraid from the bottom of their hearts. The scariest part of fighting wasn’t daring to take other people’s lives; it was daring to take your own life!

“Were you injected with chicken blood? You’ve become powerful? If you’re addicted to fighting, why don’t you go boxing?”

Yan Ziyi scolded Yang Lei. He was worried to death about Yang Lei.

He knew that Yang Lei used to love fighting, but recently, he was truly much better, like a proper child, especially after becoming close with Fang Yu. How could he know why Yang Lei was suddenly so addicted to fighting again? And it was like he wanted to die, like he was throwing a drunk fit.

“You have something on your mind?”

Yan Ziyi was truly an old Jianghu boss.

“Nothing,” Yang Lei said.

“What about Fang Yu? Why haven’t you been with him these days?”

Yang Lei didn’t want to mention this matter at all. He didn’t say a word.

Yan Ziyi glanced at Yang Lei.

“Got into a conflict with Fang Yu?”

“I didn’t!”

Yang Lei lost his patience.

What kind of person was Yan Ziyi? Once he saw Yang Lei’s expression, he knew that this was the reason for the problem.

“You two are so close, that it’s like you’re wearing the same pants. What can’t be solved by closing the door? If you go out and cause trouble again, I’ll beat you up!”

Yan Ziyi was relieved. If it was a problem between Fang Yu and Yang Lei, he believed that it wasn’t a big problem.

Yang Lei didn’t go to visit Fang Yu these days.

That night after he ran out, when he finally couldn’t run anymore, he slowly walked back to that large terrace at Fang Yu’s house. He sat on the edge of that wide terrace and sat there all night.

He had sat with Fang Yu there. They had talked about the things in their hearts and drunk wine. He had seen Fang Yu’s tears here before, had hugged the drunk Fang Yu and had wiped away the tears on his face.

Fang Yu, Fang Yu. His mind was filled with this name, and even at this time, he still sat back below Fang Yu’s house. He didn’t know what he was expecting. He looked at the pitch-black doorway of the unit, thinking whether or not Fang Yu would run out after him, and thinking whether or not he should go up and hug Fang Yu, saying, “Was I fucking playing? If I were playing, why wouldn’t I play with others?! I was never playing, I just like you. I really like you. I’m sick, I have a mental illness…”

Early that morning, Yang Lei left.

There was a mess of cigarette butts on the ground by his feet…

Yang Lei didn’t visit Fang Yu, yet Fang Yu visited him.

That night, Yang Lei had a hard time, and Fang Yu also had a hard time. Yang Lei smoked all night below, and Fang Yu stayed on his balcony all night, also without sleeping. In the morning, he passed by the second-floor terrace on the way downstairs. Once he saw the cigarette butts all over the ground, Fang Yu understood.

As soon as Yang Lei left, he never appeared before him again. He didn’t even make a phone call. Fang Yu called Yang Lei’s office, and Yang Lei was never there. When he called the military line to Yang Lei’s house, Yang Lei was never home even once.

At that time, there were no cell phones or pagers. It was relatively difficult to reach someone. Ever since he became friends with Yang Lei, Fang Yu had never been unable to find Yang Lei, because Yang Lei seemed to appear before him all the time. He was always before his eyes and always by his side, so he had never been unable to find Yang Lei.

Fang Yu even called Yan Ziyi. He knew that Yang Lei went out to work for Yan Ziyi, and he knew that Yang Lei was fighting outside every day.

“Fang Yu, you should also talk to him! Is it interesting to also wound yourself?” Yan Ziyi said.

“He’s wounded?” Fang Yu was shocked.

“Can he not be wounded? Does he really think he’s Jackie Chan to fight like that?” Yan Ziyi said.

Actually, when these gangster fighters fought outside, which one hadn’t been wounded? Being wounded was normal, too normal. But when Yan Ziyi said “wounded,” Fang Yu felt that it was very serious, because to a Da Ge like Yan Ziyi, ordinary injuries couldn’t at all reach the extent of “wounded.” If he said “wounded,” then there would definitely be a significant extent of injury.

Yang Lei had actually been wounded a little, but it definitely wasn’t that serious. Yan Ziyi also just spoke out of anger. He didn’t know that when Fang Yu heard it, he was worried.

Fang Yu called Li San, and Yang Lei just happened to be in Li San’s house.

“Ah, Yu Ge ah! …” Li San glanced at Yang Lei. Yang Lei stared at him. “Lei Ge ah, Lei Ge…” Li San looked at Yang Lei’s eyes and understood: “Lei Ge isn’t at my place! I also don’t know where he is. He’s probably out working… Wounded? Is it serious or not?” Li San looked at Yang Lei. Yang Lei shook his head at him.

“No… it isn’t! Lei Ge is fine. He wasn’t wounded!”

His hesitating tone made Fang Yu even more suspicious.

“…Oh, okay, okay. I’ll tell him when I see him…”

Li San hung up and said to Yang Lei: “Yu Ge said, tonight you definitely have to return to the office. He went to see you. Something’s up…”

Yang Lei didn’t speak.

Yang Lei also wasn’t purposely avoiding Fang Yu out of anger. Running away wasn’t his style. He always did things straightforwardly and solved things face-to-face.

But actually, these few days, Yang Lei was also confused, and he was pondering on things.

Before he had met Fang Yu, Yang Lei had never thought that he could like the same sex. Even now, he also didn’t think that he was like Hua Mao because he liked Fang Yu. He always thought that he was “normal.” He just liked Fang Yu because Fang Yu was special. It wasn’t because he was “abnormal.”

So although Yang Lei had struggled, his conflict and struggles were not very intense or deep. At that time, he only thought about Fang Yu. He only wanted to be together with him. He didn’t want to think too much about anything else. Just like someone who had fallen in love for the first time, other than the one they were infatuated with, they couldn’t see anything else.

But Fang Yu’s words that night suddenly made him realize, he was always thinking about what he wanted. Had he thought about Fang Yu? Had he thought about whether or not Fang Yu wanted it, whether or not he was willing to walk this path?

They had long crossed the line. Both of them were clear, and Yang Lei was even more clear. Ever since that day Hua Mao said it, he was clear that it was “love.”

Love, a love between two men. In those years, what this signified, Yang Lei actually still hadn’t thought about it carefully at all.

Yang Lei imagined for a moment how other people would look at him if they were to know that he liked Fang Yu. Mentally ill, pervert, hermaphrodite, sissy…

That was how society at that time saw homosexuality.

Of course, at this time, Yang Lei still hadn’t associated himself with the word “homosexuality,” a word most people definitely hadn’t even heard of then.

Yang Lei didn’t care. He wasn’t scared of anything.

But he imagined these words being put on Fang Yu’s head…

Yang Lei suddenly didn’t know whether or not he was acting correctly.

He was the one who forcefully dragged Fang Yu into the water by using “playing” as a lie. But was Fang Yu willing to go into the water? Had he thought about what Fang Yu would have to bear after he went into the water?

These were all not questions about whether or not he confessed to Fang Yu, and whether or not Fang Yu responded.

Yang Lei was really at a loss.

He started to really ponder these thoughts. He started to become mature…

That night, when Fang Yu arrived at Yang Lei’s office, Yang Lei was waiting for him.

The two people met, both glanced at the other, and they both didn’t say anything. Fang Yu closed the door.

“…”

Fang Yu sat down. No one faked natural pleasantries and greetings. Both of them were silent.

In both of their memories, they had never been this awkward when they were together.

“I heard that you were injured?”

Fang Yu spoke first.

“It’s a small injury, nothing serious.” Yang Lei had just been cut in the shoulder by a triangular bayonet. The wound was large and there was a lot of bleeding, but it wasn’t a big deal overall.

“Where were you hurt?”

Fang Yu stared at Yang Lei’s body. Actually, when he saw Yang Lei walking in safe and sound, Fang Yu’s mind was at ease.

Yang Lei hesitated for a moment. He lifted his T-shirt, letting Fang Yu see the bandaged wound on his shoulder above his chest, and then lowered his T-shirt.

“It’s nothing,” Yang Lei said calmly.