Chapter 15

When he woke up the next morning, he was sober, and Yang Lei had figured it out.

So what if he liked being with Fang Yu? So what if he thought about him as he had those dreams? They could even die for their brothers, so who said that there couldn’t be intimate feelings between brothers? And so what if brothers occasionally went too far? …The things in the future, who loved and who was loved, would happen as they happened. In any case, right now he liked Fang Yu, and he wanted to be with Fang Yu. Who cared about why!

After Yang Lei figured it out, he suddenly cast off his burdens. He wasn’t someone who would torment himself. Now that he had figured it out, he suddenly felt like everything was bright and clear. He started to stick to Fang Yu again, openly running to Fang Yu’s place, and he went even more often than before.

“What did you hear me say last night?” Yang Lei asked Fang Yu after sobering up that day. Yang Lei had drunk too much, but he very clearly remembered what he had said.

“I just heard you say that you always think about me.” Fang Yu also wasn’t completely drunk.

“Fuck, why do you keep thinking about me?” Fang Yu smiled as he kicked Yang Lei. Fang Yu was very happy that last night, they had spoken the words in their hearts.

“When I can’t see you, I think about you! Will you still say I’m avoiding you?” Now that Yang Lei had figured it out, his whole person had a complete change in tune, and his tongue once again recovered its smoothness.

“Thinking about me. Thinking about me teaching you a lesson!” Fang Yu scolded jokingly. “Fuck, you lay on me and slept a whole night. Right now, my shoulder is still numb!”

“Then tonight, you’ll be on top of me. Your turn to lie on me,” Yang Lei said seriously.

“Fuck off!”

Yan Ziyi and Luo Jiu both knew that there was a dispute between their little brothers. At first, they were worried that these young people who were immature and aggressive would make a big deal out of things and harm both families’ friendliness. But then, Fang Yu and Yang Lei dealt with it relatively neatly. Even the old Jianghu bosses were satisfied, without shedding a drop of blood, and without hurting their dignity.

After this matter, everyone could see that Yang Lei and Fang Yu had become very close. It wasn’t possible to stir up trouble between them. Even this bloody case that had injured muscles and bones, couldn’t cause a falling out between them.

Yang Lei saw the Auto-5 that Fang Yu slapped onto the table that day, and knew that Fang Yu always carried a gun with him.

That day, Fang Yu also had no other choice. If that fight were to continue, there would definitely be injuries on both sides, and the hatred would grow deeper and deeper. If they wanted to dispel it later, it would be difficult.

“Don’t keep this thing. If it’s found, it’ll be troublesome,” Yang Lei reminded Fang Yu.

He didn’t realize it before. He himself had also fired a gun and beaten people, but now he worried about Fang Yu, afraid that this gun would cause him trouble.

Now he also had concerns. People who have concerns would be afraid.

“If it’s not absolutely necessary, I won’t use it.” Fang Yu smiled at Yang Lei.

“…Don’t use it unless it’s for self-defense. You can easily get into trouble,” Yang Lei said.

Fang Yu was silent for a moment.

“For someone like me, I’ll get into trouble sooner or later,” Fang Yu said.

After a very, very long time, Yang Lei still remembered Fang Yu’s silent expression as he said those words.

When Fang Yu and Yang Lei chatted, Yang Lei asked where Fang Yu’s skills came from. He saw Fang Yu fight. It didn’t seem amateurish. Fang Yu told him that some were acquired from Luo Jiu’s instruction and some were from the guidance of two veteran friends before. The two friends both had returned from the Vietnam battlefield. They had charged through storms of bullets, fighting for their lives against Vietnamese enemies with real knives and guns. They knew what real devils were, what a real battlefield was. In their eyes, the fighting within the Jianghu gangdom was child’s play.

In those years, the Vietnam War was a sensitive subject. Mainstream society always avoided talking about these two words. The veterans who had come back from the Vietnam battlefield had experienced many battles and survived great dangers. Each one was a top war machine, but because of particular historical reasons, after they returned home, some of them had no choice but to become a factor in social instability. That was another story.

“They were both scouts. Scouts are at the very head of the army. They fight face to face against the enemy. You haven’t seen their ability. It’s really…” Fang Yu mentioned these two friends with great idolization. These two retired scouts and Fang Yu had a life-long friendship. Two years ago, they went to the south to do business.

Fang Yu told Yang Lei about the Vietnam War experiences that he had heard from them. Yang Lei listened, stunned.

That was a real battlefield. No matter how many bloody experiences these Jianghu gangsters had and how many cruel scenes they had seen, they could not be compared to real warfare.

Yang Lei liked listening to Fang Yu speak about these battlefield stories. Although Fang Yu had also heard them, he told them vividly, as though he had seen them with his own eyes. Yang Lei hadn’t known that Fang Yu had so much talent in telling stories.

He watched Fang Yu’s dynamic expression as he spoke while gesturing. At this time, Fang Yu looked very energetic and childlike, as though completely different from his cold and cruel appearance when he fought. Yang Lei felt that this was the real Fang Yu, without restraint, loneliness, or sadness, only youthful energy. He always followed Fang Yu’s descriptions, sometimes terrified, sometimes delighted, sometimes shocked and speechless…

That was Yang Lei’s happiest time.

At that time, Yan Ziyi’s company was on the right path. Yang Lei only had to watch over the construction progress, ensuring that no one caused trouble or delays. He spent nearly all the rest of his time with Fang Yu. Fang Yu was also very busy. Luo Jiu’s business was growing bigger. As Luo Jiu’s most trusted person, Fang Yu naturally couldn’t relax, but as long as the two people had time, they would stick together. Sometimes, Fang Yu was too busy, and Yang Lei would stay at Fang Yu’s place and kill time, waiting for him, so that for some time, when Yan Ziyi couldn’t find Yang Lei, he would call Luo Jiu and ask, “Where is Xiao Fang?” Finding Fang Yu was nearly equivalent to finding Yang Lei. The two of them were entangled to this extent.

Hua Mao always revolved around Fang Yu. Seeing that Fang Yu and Yang Lei were this close, his teeth ached with hatred. Every time Yang Lei saw Hua Mao, he would remember his enmity with Chuan-zi last time, but out of consideration for Fang Yu, he wouldn’t expose him, and he wouldn’t argue with Hua Mao.

“Boss, why don’t you teach me how to play!” Ever since Hua Mao followed Fang Yu, he respectfully changed to calling him Boss.

In Bright Billiards Room, Hua Mao pestered Fang Yu and asked him to teach him how to play billiards.

Hua Mao was Fang Yu’s brother now. Fang Yu never objected to his brothers. Last time, Fang Yu had found and spoke with Hua Mao. After clearly explaining everything to him, Hua Mao was much more restrained. Hua Mao was grateful to Fang Yu. Fang Yu treated him the same as other people, and never looked down on him.

“Your posture when holding the cue isn’t correct,” Fang Yu patiently guided him. “You’re not bending low enough. Your center of balance must be lower.”

Yang Lei was holding a cue and watching from the side. Hua Mao simply ignored Yang Lei’s existence. People like Hua Mao had very accurate intuition for enemies.

Hua Mao made a bad shot again. Even Fang Yu couldn’t keep looking at that crooked posture.

“Bend correctly!” Fang Yu walked over and stood behind Hua Mao, wrapping around Hua Mao to hold his hand and correct his movements.

This was the moment Hua Mao was waiting for. His expression was very pleased, as he rubbed his body towards Fang Yu’s chest.

Yang Lei watched with cold eyes. He walked over and pushed Fang Yu away.

“Let me teach him.”

When Yang Lei went up, he raised his foot and kicked both sides. He kicked the insides of Hua Mao’s knees apart. Hua Mao nearly fell right onto the table.

“Haha!” This made everyone laugh. Hua Mao cursed Yang Lei shrilly, and the others laughed loudly.

“You’re just bad!” Fang Yu’s smile was doting. He couldn’t do anything with Yang Lei.

Fang Yu had a tape recorder in his house that was very advanced in those years, and it was connected to two small speakers. He had a whole drawer of tapes, all Little Tigers, Zhang Xueyou, Zhang Guorong, and Wild Wolf’s Disco and whatnot. In those years, Cantonese songs were very popular. Everyone sang imitating the Hong Kongese and Taiwanese accent, singing in Cantonese. When youths were high walking on the streets, they would have to scream two lines of a Cantonese song. It could be seen just how popular Hong Kongese and Taiwanese songs were.

Fang Yu also loved listening to music. At night, he would often continuously play songs from the tape recorder, listening as he sang along, and Fang Yu’s Cantonese when he sang was relatively accurate. Those days, Fang Yu repeatedly listened to Zhang Xueyou’s pop song “Love Sparks.” Yang Lei was also fascinated by this song. On the empty balcony at night, they often held beer bottles as they lay together on the balcony in the mystifying night wind, following that powerful and passionate music, facing the lights of the entire city, their blood surging as they used Cantonese to loudly sing:

I’ll make your breathing light

I’ll make flames for you in the winter

Tonight, I only want to bring forth love sparks

Passions like ink, I don’t want to keep talking about feelings or romantic words

Don’t be afraid anymore of not knowing whether or not the feelings are real

There never needs to only be wrong or right in life

Believe me that I can let you continue being drunk like this

Forget sorrows and wounds

Baby baby kiss me, love me! …

Yang Lei asked Fang Yu: “Why don’t you have a sweetheart?”

“I did,” Fang Yu said. “We broke up.”

“Why did you break up?” When Yang Lei imagined Fang Yu and a woman together, he felt very weird.

“She must have disliked how I fought and killed all day, and didn’t do serious work.” Fang Yu’s expression was flat. He lit a cigarette. “It’s the past.”

Yang Lei glanced at Fang Yu.

“You still think about her?” He felt a little upset.

“How is that possible?” Fang Yu couldn’t help but laugh. “It was a long time ago.”

“You didn’t find a new one?”

Yang Lei knew that there were many girls who pursued Fang Yu. There were a lot of pretty girls who revolved around him. Other than female gangsters, there were also gentle ladies. According to the words Li San later said, a gangster like Fang Yu who was famous throughout the whole city had a potential that really attracted girls from good families. The more refined the girls were, the more infatuated they became with the legendary ruler of the streets.

“Find a good one for me?” Fang Yu smiled as he exhaled smoke.

“You still need to find one? That so-and-so, so-and-so, and so-and-so.” Yang Lei named many girls in one breath. They were all insistent in pursuing Fang Yu.

“That face, that figure, which one isn’t great?”

Fang Yu didn’t speak.

“You want to find a goddess?” Yang Lei tested Fang Yu.

Fang Yu stubbed out the cigarette.

“Being with me is frightening and unstable. No one knows when I’ll get into trouble.”

Fang Yu looked at the many faraway spots of light.

“I’m alone, without any burdens. I shouldn’t harm others.”

Yang Lei looked at Fang Yu’s side profile. Fang Yu silently looked into the distance, a little lost in thought. He didn’t know what he was thinking about.

His handsome side profile was reflected under the night sky, like a sculpture, and also like a perfect silhouette, aloof and solitary.

Yang Lei also looked at him in a daze.

Yang Lei didn’t know whether he was thinking about the former girlfriend, or about the many years of things he had experienced and the people he had met.

“…I’ll accompany you.” Yang Lei suddenly let out this sentence.

Fang Yu turned his head and looked at him.

“If you don’t have a sweetheart, then you don’t have a sweetheart. What’s a sweetheart amount to? Brother will accompany you. I’ll accompany you a lifetime.”

Yang Lei looked at Fang Yu’s eyes. He was moved.

Fang Yu was somewhat stunned, and a little touched.

He thought that Yang Lei’s occasional foolish manner was truly cute and comfortably warm.

Fang Yu reached out, putting his arm around Yang Lei’s shoulder, bringing him to his own side.

“Thanks, brother,” Fang Yu said quietly.

Yang Lei suddenly had a kind of uncontrollably impulsive feeling, gushing up from his heart and filling his entire chest. He turned around, forcefully hugged Fang Yu, and held him tightly.

“…” Fang Yu hadn’t yet processed the situation.

“You won’t be alone anymore. I promise.” Yang Lei said into Fang Yu’s shoulder in a deep and low voice.

Hearing Fang Yu’s sentence “alone, without any burdens,” his heart ached, feeling upset.

“…What’s the matter with you?” Fang Yu was a little at loss, lightly patting Yang Lei’s back.

“Don’t move! Let me hug for a while!” Yang Lei’s voice was gruff.

“Fuck… aren’t you disgusted?” Fang Yu was helpless.

“If you’re disgusted, then push me away!” Yang Lei still hugged him.

“…” Fang Yu didn’t speak, and then reached out, hugging Yang Lei tightly, a manly and forceful embrace.

Yang Lei hugged Fang Yu’s firm back and tightened his arms…

A tender song came from the tape recorder inside the house, Zhang Xueyou’s “Drunk Sunset”…

Step back into my heart, okay?

Come back, don’t leave me alone

Searching this life because of you

Searching for this fate to come close

Don’t let the setting sun distract me, okay?

The setting sun is romantic but unrestrained

The faint red smile with dimples

When did you let me draw near…