Volume 5 - CH 3

Chapter 3: The Fiancées’ Bridal Course 

One day in the 3rd month, 1,547th year, Continental Calendar 

Hello, I’m the candidate to become Souma’s first primary queen, Liscia Elfrieden. 

On this day with the end of winter drawing near, and the coming spring beginning to make itself felt, all of Souma’s fiancées were gathered in a certain room in Parnam Castle. I, Liscia was one of them. The rest were Aisha the kochiji, Juna the lorelei, and Roroa, the former princess of Amidonia. 

There was no sign of Souma here, and even the maids who were always waiting in the corner of the room had been asked to leave today. On top of that... this room was weird. There was a blackboard, desks, and four desks and chairs. The desks were lined up in a row, making it look almost like one of the classrooms at the Officers’ Academy. 

“Hey, Big Sister Cia?” Roroa asked. “What’d we all get called in here for today?” 

“I couldn’t tell you,” I said. “If anyone here would know...” 

I looked over at Juna. However, Juna only looked down and shook her head. 

“I’m sorry. Lately, even I’m not sure what goes through that lady’s head.” 

“If Madam Juna doesn’t know, then the rest of us don’t stand a chance of figuring it out.” Aisha rested her hands on the back of a chair, tilting her head to the side in puzzlement. 

It was a fair assessment. That lady was completely unpredictable. Just what was she thinking this time? 

Then the door to the room opened, and the one who had gathered us here arrived. 

“I see everyone’s here.” 

It was the blue-haired sea serpent beauty, Excel Walter. 

In addition to being the commander-in-chief of the National Defense Force, she was a beautiful woman who looked to be around twenty-five. With her blue tresses, from which tiny horns sprouted, trailing behind her as she walked, she had always been a picturesque beauty. But this time, she was carrying something in her hands, too: two bundles that were as thick as dictionaries. One was wrapped in white, the other in black. 

Excel left the bundles on the lectern, then pulled out and donned a pair of spectacles and a square academic cap. “Now then, let’s have you all take your seats.” 

“U-Um... Grandmother?” Juna hesitantly raised her hand and asked. 

“What is it?” 

“Um... I thought you had good vision?” 

“Oh, these spectacles? They’re just ordinary glass, not corrective lenses.” 

“Then why are you wearing them?” 

“It gets me in the mood.” 

Her mood?! That was the issue?! Wait, what was she about to start?! 

In the end, we were each ushered into our seats by Excel with no clue what was going on. From Excel’s perspective at the lectern, going from left to right, we were seated Aisha, Roroa, me, and Juna. 

Excel started to write something on the blackboard. When I read it, it said:

“First Lecture — Bridal Training Course”

Yeah, I wasn’t even sure where to start. 

For one thing, by “first,” did she mean there were going to be several of these gatherings?! What was a bridal training lecture even supposed to be?! Then Excel tapped lightly on the lectern. 

“Now, all of you will be becoming Souma’s brides this year.” 

““““...”””” 

We all got very quiet. We were ready for it, of course, and we even wanted it now, but having someone else point that fact out to us still felt a little embarrassing. 

Excel told us, “Though some of you will be primaries and some of you secondaries, the fundamental nature of things will be the same for all of you. There is a husband and a wife, they build a household, eventually children are born, and they become a family. If the family is harmonious, then they will be happy; if it is not, they will become unhappy. The problem is that if there is discord in the royal family, that leads directly to discord within the kingdom. Princess Liscia.” 

“Y-Yes!” I responded and stood up without meaning to. It was just like being back in officers’ school. 

Excel gave me a serious look and asked, “Princess Liscia, you have no relatives outside of your father and mother, yes?” 

“Uh... Yes. That’s what I’ve been told.” 

“Why is that?” 

“When my mother’s father... that is to say, the king before the last one died, there was a succession crisis, and nearly every member of the royal family but my mother was wiped out.” 

“Yes. That was a painful time,” Excel said with a truly pained look on her face. “The three dukes and I distanced ourselves from that conflict. If our military forces had gotten involved, it would have turned into a civil war, after all. We were all desperate to keep our forces in check. Instead, there were bitter struggles within the royal house that set even the closest relatives against one another.” 

With all of our appraisals over and done with, Excel clapped her hands together. 

“Now, you all understand what Souma thinks of you. From here, I think we’ll go into some more practical knowledge of how to improve your marital relations.” 

“‘Practical knowledge’?” I echoed without thinking, for which Excel gave me an incredibly nice smile. 

“Didn’t I tell you at the very beginning? In this lecture, I teach you how you should act as a wife, the way gentlemen think, and everything from how to support your husband to how to perform your nightly duties in the bedroom in a way that makes your marital relations go more smoothly. I’ll be ever so very thorough teaching you about that.” 

““““...”””” We all fell into dead silence. 

Right. Now that she’d mentioned it, she had said that was what this course was about. 

“Um, Grandmother? Setting the other parts aside, well... D-do we absolutely have to take your lectures on our nightly, um, ‘d-duties’?” Juna asked. 

“L-Like Juna said,” Aisha added. “It’s just too embarrassing...” 

“I’m a little interested, y’know?” Roroa put in. 

“R-Roroa!” I shouted. 

“Huh? You ain’t interested, Big Sister Cia?” 

“That’s... Maybe a little, but...” 

While we were acting reluctant, Excel gave us a look that seemed to say, “I’ve already planned around you feeling that way,” and she patted the remaining black bundle confidently. 

“Oh my? You’re sure you want to pass up this opportunity? If you take my lectures to the end, you’ll receive one of these in commemoration.” 

As she said that, Excel unwrapped the black bundle, and inside there were notebooks just like before. However, these books were thin, and their covers were black. Their covers carried the even more dangerous sounding, “Documents Contain Top Secret Classified Information,” and “Dispose of by Incineration After Reading.” 

They were being treated like forbidden books, but Excel opened one up and began flipping through it as if to show it off to us. 

“This black notebook contains the [censored] that His Majesty Souma wants you to do for him, or that he wants to do for you, and the situations involved.” 

““““Huh...? Whaaaaaa?!”””” 

The look in everyone’s eyes changed. 

[Censored]? Wait, seriously?! I thought. 

“I heard all of this after plying him with even more tequeur, so I’m sure of it,” Excel said. “In short, these notebooks contain the naked truth about his desire for the four of you that His Majesty Souma normally keeps under control and hidden away.” 

So this was it! 

Juna and I looked at each other once again. Little wonder he had suppressed the memory. If he’d remembered blabbing about all of this embarrassing stuff, I was sure he’d never be able to look any of us in the eye again. 

Everyone looked intently at the black notebooks. Excel made a show of flipping through one of them so that only she could see. 

“My, how interesting. It seems he wants to do different things with each of you. With Roroa... Hoho. With Aisha... I see, so that’s how he likes it, huh. With Juna... Oh, my, to be so young again. And with the princess... Hee hee.” 

Hee hee, what?! What exactly was written in there?! 

Though Excel was beautiful as she gave us a sidelong glance with a seductive smile, she also looked like a demon lord. I dunno... I had to feel sorry for Souma after all this. 

“Um... Duchess Walter? I think those notebooks are going a bit far...” I hesitated. 

“Oh, you don’t want them, then? In that case, they’ll have to be burned like it says on the cover...” 

““““We want them!”””” the four of us shouted in unison. 

Excel nodded with satisfaction. 

...Sorry, Souma. But I’m sure this is for the good of the kingdom. While making excuses to my absent husband-to-be, I gave in. 

“Now, let’s begin the lecture,” Excel said with satisfaction. 

This was how the first lecture of Excel’s Bridal Training Course began. 

The course content, naturally, made us feel embarrassed sometimes, but Souma’s fiancées took the lessons seriously. That included me, too. 

Well, of course, I wanted that black notebook... I felt it was necessary for building a stable household and a stable country. 

So that we could all live happily ever after.

Now, about these black notebooks: it is said that, in later days, the candidates to become queens would ask Excel to produce them regularly. At first, they would incinerate them when they finished reading them, but eventually they started to store them somewhere safe, thinking they could be useful again in the future. 

In later years, an historical scholar who discovered a box containing several of these booklets attempted to announce their contents at an historical conference, but he stopped just before the announcement claiming the discovered documents were “forgeries.” There were reports that a group of suspicious men had made contact with him a few days prior, but the truth of those rumors remains in the darkness.