Chapter 58

Lin Ziran spent a few days leisurely, Jiang Xuan finally stopped calling him, and he didn't know whether he had given up or was planning something else.

Ning Bai sent a message every day, but Lin Ziran never replied.

Do you really think he has such a good temper?

This day, Lin Ziran came back from eating outside again. As soon as he parked the car and got off, he saw Jiang Xuan waiting outside.

The man was leaning against a black off-road vehicle, and seemed to have been waiting for a long time. Seeing him come back, he looked up with a stern face and deep eyes.

Lin Ziran was stunned for a moment, and then quickly realized that Jiang Xuan is very powerful in this city, and he is not low-key, so it is normal for him to find him.

But I had a fight with Jiang Xuan last time, and I had already let myself go, so I didn't bother to pay attention to Jiang Xuan.

Lin Ziran walked past Jiang Xuan without even looking at him.

Jiang Xuan looked helpless, he strode over and grabbed Lin Ziran's wrist, with a sincere look in his black eyes, he said worriedly, "I heard about your family, are you okay?"

Lin Ziran turned his head and looked at him thoughtfully.

He suspected that Jiang Xuan was responsible for this incident, but there was no evidence. Looking at Jiang Xuan's worried expression at this moment, if he really did this, then he is really a person with deep roots in the city.

Jiang Xuan's plan should be like this: Expose Ning Bai's life experience → Lu Xiaodong is shocked and sad → Lu Maofeng Feng Wan recognizes relatives → Lu Xiaodong is left out → Ning Bai returns to Lu's house → Lu Xiaodong is sad and desperate → Lu Xiaodong begins Resentment towards Ning Bai → Lu Xiaodong ran away from home → Lu Maofeng and Feng Wan were indifferent → Lu Xiaodong fell into the dust → Jiang Xuan made his debut → took care of the poor little one who was loved and loved by no one → Lu Xiaodong found out that Jiang Xuan was the only one in the world →Lu Xiaodong throws himself into his arms→Jiang Xuan successfully raises the little pitiful in captivity.

Plan to pass!

It's almost like he has thought of everything, Lu Xiaodong has been with Jiang Xuan for so long, it is impossible for him to know nothing about Lu Xiaodong's situation, so Ning Bai's background is his trump card! If it was the real Lu Xiaodong, in such a desperate and painful situation, maybe he would really grab Jiang Xuan like a life-saving straw?

Because when a person loses everything, even a little bit of kindness and compassion is hard to resist.

At this time, the mistakes Jiang Xuan made before are indifferent and unimportant, because Lu Xiaodong has given up on himself, and he needs someone who can love him and protect him, even if Jiang Xuan doesn't really love him much, but Jiang Xuan Definitely love him so much! In this world where there is nowhere to go, Lu Xiaodong can only look for the last warmth in Jiang Xuan... and then completely become a plaything under Jiang Xuan's control.

In order to coax him and resolve his inner resentment and pain, Jiang Xuan could even turn his back on the worthless Lu Maofeng's family...

Jiang Xuan has countless ways to make Lu Xiaodong unable to leave him, unable to escape his palm.

Lin Ziran almost shuddered. He felt that this person was a little scary. Only now did he finally realize that he was the ruthless boss in the script. Will be deceived!

Even if he took a step back, Jiang Xuan didn't bring this up, and he wasn't interested in entanglement with Jiang Xuan.

Lin Ziran twitched the corner of his lips, and said lightly, "You don't need to take care of my affairs."

Jiang Xuan seemed a little sad, he said in a hoarse voice, "I know you are blaming me for what happened before, I did something wrong that time...but I am really worried about you."

Lin Ziran said, "Oh."

Jiang Xuan said again, "Don't you believe that I like you?"

Lin Ziran smiled, "Like me? Do you think I will believe it?"

To him, Jiang Xuan was nothing more than a possessive desire to do such a thing, and maybe he liked it a little... But so what? I don't like him.

Jiang Xuan looked at Lin Ziran's indifferent gaze, and there was no admiration and admiration in it, and he would no longer smile at him flatteringly.

It's obviously still this person, but it seems that they are far away.

Like it?

At first he thought it was not liking, but possessiveness, because suddenly he felt a little interested, and just wanted to play, and he was not willing to let him go to others like this. People like Lu Xiaodong should be played by him He greeted him with a smile, he didn't like someone who disobeyed and rejected him.

But later he found out that he was wrong. This child also had a very stubborn side. He looked flattering and humble, but in fact he was very hard.

If he says he doesn't like you, he doesn't like you anymore.

No longer please you.

No longer chasing you.

There is never a shortage of people around Jiang Xuan, no matter men or women, there are countless people who are prettier than Lu Xiaodong, he even thought about whether to let go, because competing with such a thing as Lu Xiaodong made himself a joke, But why can't I let go in the end?

In order to get this person, he did not hesitate to attack Ning Bai and expose Ning Bai's life experience.

The agency counted.

He didn't know why he was obsessed with such a child, and he didn't know what kind of feeling it was... But as long as he thought that he would leave completely, never appear by his side again, and gradually drift away, he suddenly Such a result cannot be tolerated.

Since he doesn't want to let go, he will do whatever it takes to get him.

This is Jiang Xuan's code of conduct.

Jiang Xuan looked down at Lin Ziran, his eyes were deep and helpless, he sighed slowly, "Then what will happen, will you believe that I like you?"

Lin Ziran also looked at him. It was rare for Jiang Xuan to be so humble in order to deceive himself, but unfortunately he made a mistake.

I never cared whether he liked it or not.

Since he doesn't care, there is no question of whether he believes it or not, because even if he really likes it, does it have anything to do with him?

Lin Ziran laughed, and he looked at Jiang Xuan, "You made a mistake about one thing."

Jiang Xuan asked, "What's the matter?"

Lin Ziran raised his eyebrows, "It doesn't matter whether I believe you like me or not, the important thing is that I don't like you, and I don't want you to disturb me again."

Lin Ziran turned and left after speaking.

Jiang Xuan asked behind him, "Do you hate Lu Maofeng?"

Lin Ziran stopped suddenly and looked back at him.

There was a deep and dark look in Jiang Xuan's black eyes, and he spoke as if nothing had happened, his voice was low and hoarse with a touch of temptation, "If you hate him, I can make him kneel down and beg you. Everything you want...I can do it for you."

Lin Ziran looked at him intently, thinking, I really guessed it.

This proposal is indeed exciting, but although he can't get used to Lu Maofeng's scumbag father, it's not worthwhile to sell Jiang Xuan for this matter.

Besides, it's just a game...

Lin Ziran said word by word, "Everything about you is not what I want."

Only the former Lu Xiaodong was rare.

Jiang Xuan looked at the boy's indifferent eyes, listened to his calm words, his expression froze slightly, he thought that now was the boy's most vulnerable time, he thought he needed his own help, he thought he would hurt or hate him, he would kill him I took the opportunity to be included under my own wings, but the result was not like this...

The boy is stronger than he imagined, or he has learned how to hide his pain.

Even if she falls into the dust, she will never beg for mercy from him again.

I won't cry and fall...

Not to be dazzled by hatred and jealousy...

On the contrary, the blow made him rekindle a new life, he began to know how to let go, and burst into unprecedented dazzling light...

Jiang Xuan's heart sank slowly. He felt that his plan might have deviated and did not develop as he expected.

This method may be able to make the boy leave Ning Bai, but it cannot make him approach him.

Because once he no longer cares about Lu Maofeng, and has no love or hatred, he will have no reason to continue to rely on himself.

Seeing the boy walking farther and farther, Jiang Xuan quickly stepped forward and grabbed the boy's wrist again.

Lin Ziran shook Jiang Xuan's hand for a while, but said coldly, "Boss Jiang is also a man of dignity, so you don't want to make trouble here, do you?"

Jiang Xuan looked at the boy's face, his black eyes were burning with anger, as if they were burning with flames, looking at him neither humble nor overbearing... Jiang Xuan's heart suddenly beat hard.

He seemed to understand something.

Maybe this is the real side of the boy.

The flattery, deliberate rebellion, and depravity in the past... were all just his disguise, the protective color he put on himself, he wanted to be affirmed by Lu Maofeng, he wanted to be valued by himself, he worked so hard to get rid of it. Gain a sense of presence, but no one cares about him...

Until one day, when he finally found that no matter what he did, he couldn't get what he wanted, so he gave up and became what he hated, and no longer tried to please anyone.

But this kind of him is more charming than ever before.

It's just that all of this was once covered up by that depraved appearance, so that no one noticed his kindness and persistence.

Lin Ziran felt that Jiang Xuan's eyes were a bit disturbing, so he frowned and said, "Please let go."

Jiang Xuan's gaze fell on the boy's face. The boy's eyes were burning, and his soft lips opened and closed, as if inviting him... He suddenly took a step forward, and directly pressed Lin Ziran against the car door. Go up, pinch his chin, bow down and kiss him.

Lin Ziran was about to burst into tears when he was kissed, he was about to be blown up by this bastard who kissed forcefully at every turn!

Lin Ziran, if I can't beat him, I will make him kneel down and call him daddy today!

system……

Lin Ziran is a bastard who only bullies the weak and fears the strong, see if he dares to treat Ning Bai like this)

system……

Lin Ziran couldn't help but think of the original plot. In the original plot, although Jiang Xuan and Ning Bai separated and reunited, and their love was extremely bloody, but there was no forced love factor at all, and they respected Ning Bai from the beginning to the end. All his ruthlessness is reflected in dealing with cannon fodder and enemies. This is not the case when he pursues Ning Bai. On the contrary, he is very humble and polite. Why does he like to be tough when he changes himself?

How can you do this? You collapsed, you know? !

Wait... Lin Ziran's expression froze suddenly, Jiang Xuan actually didn't collapse, he has been very thorough all the time!

He respects Ning Bai and does not despise an opponent like Ning Bai, but when facing cannon fodder like Lu Xiaodong, he is ruthless and does everything he can. Isn't that what he is doing now? From the previous ktv incident and this life incident, he has always been like this!

Although the pursuer has changed from Ning Bai to himself, the attitude towards Ning Bai and himself is essentially the same as the original plot.

There is no comparison and no harm, and the thought of it makes me even angrier.

Do you really think he is easier to bully because you look at people's orders? !

After all, Jiang Xuan never knew how to treat Lu Xiaodong as an equal. In his eyes, Lu Xiaodong is a fool who is easy to bully and deceive.

Lin Ziran took advantage of the gap to take a breath, pushed Jiang Xuan away suddenly, and punched Jiang Xuan in the face!

Jiang Xuan turned his head sideways after being beaten, as if he was very surprised that Lin Ziran would make a move, looking at him with dark eyes like ink.

Lin Ziran was happy after finishing the fight, but seeing Jiang Xuan's appearance, he was a little timid. He was afraid that this guy would suddenly get violent. If he couldn't hold back for a while and wanted to play the prison stalk, wouldn't he have to find a way to quit now... Although a little flustered, he still showed an angry look, pretending not to be scared at all!

Jiang Xuan looked deeply at Lin Ziran, and just when Lin Ziran was extremely anxious, he suddenly laughed lowly, "It's okay."

Lin Ziran "?"

Jiang Xuan looked at the boy who was obviously a little scared, but pretended to be strong and unyielding, his eyes were gentle and doting, "Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you."

Lin Ziran "..."

There were not many people in the parking lot, Lin Ziran didn't dare to stay here any longer, he looked at Jiang Xuan coldly, and said "Get lost."

Then quicken your pace and leave.

Jiang Xuan didn't stop him this time, he just watched the boy's back getting further and further away, his eyes darkened.

Maybe this time, I miscalculated...

But I won't let go easily.

………………

Ning Bai didn't get off work until 11 o'clock in the evening, but he didn't go home. Instead, he drove under a hotel and looked up at the scattered lights above.

He had already found out where Lin Ziran lived, and every night, he would come here to have a look.

But never went up.

Because he didn't know how to face this person.

To beg his forgiveness, to say you love him, to say I have no intention of taking anything from you? Or simply trick him that your parents actually love you?

It's all too pale.

Because only through personal experience can one understand the pain that goes deep into the bone marrow...

Words cannot heal scars.

For the boy, his own existence is the greatest harm to him. I made his existence meaningless and made him look like a joke...Although he escaped from that home, his heart escaped from there ?

Even I have paid such a high price, let alone this not-so-smart child?

Is he sad now?

But what he needs is definitely not his own comfort.

A self-deprecating smile appeared on Ning Bai's lips, suppressing the astringency in his eyes.

………………

Xue Ze didn't dare to come in front of Ning Bai recently, and walked around whenever he met Ning Bai. This was a mess, he was afraid of such troublesome things, but today he had to come.

Xue Ze pushed open the door and said cautiously, "Well, your mother is here again, oh, the biological mother..."

Ning Bai didn't lift his eyes, "I don't see you."

Xue Ze is going crazy, is it easy for him? Tian Tian has to help Ning Bai drive his own mother away! He felt that his hands were stained with sinful blood! He can hardly hold on anymore!

Xue Ze was about to cry, "Why don't you go and tell her clearly, my aunt comes to wait every day, and now a lot of people ask me what's going on, I can't hide it anymore, you don't want people to mention you in the future because of that indifference Ruthless, a ruthless bastard who doesn't even care about your own mother? Of course I know you don't care about reputation or anything, but why don't you send her away next time..."

Seeing that Ning Bai was still indifferent, Xue Ze said long-windedly, "Please go and have a look, she looks like she won't stop when she sees you, you won't be able to solve the problem by avoiding it like this!"

Ning Bai stopped holding the pen.

After a long time, he stood up and said, "Okay, I'll go see her."

Feng Wan came to Ning Bai's company every day to wait, and she didn't dare to go in directly, fearing that it would make Ning Bai even more angry, so she thought that with her patience, one day she might impress Ning Bai and make him willing Come out and meet your own...

There were people coming and going around, and occasionally someone would look at her curiously, but she didn't care.

She just wanted to see Ning Bai.

Suddenly, a person appeared in front of her.

Feng Wan looked up and saw Ning Bai's face, showing a look of surprise, "Xiao Bai, you are finally willing to see me."

Ning Bai looked deeply at the woman, the corners of his lips curved indifferently, you are still the same as before, you always do what you want to do, you never know when to let go, you have to let go decisively, otherwise you will just give each other Just cause harm.

To be persistent again and again is not worthy of your dedication and continued love.

But turn a blind eye to the people you should care about.

There was sneering in his eyes, but his tone was light, "It's not convenient to talk here, why don't you go to your house and talk."

Feng Wan suddenly stood up, excitedly speaking incoherently, "Are you willing to go home with your mother?"

Ning Bai didn't deny it, he just turned around and walked out.

Feng Wan was talking to him all the way, but Ning Bai didn't reply at all. He just thought absently about what the place where the boy lived would be like, and he suddenly wanted to see it with his own eyes...

In the past twenty years, the Lu family has moved to this city several times, and naturally it is not the home in Ning Bai's impression.

Ning Bai didn't want to go back to the home with this woman, but this was Lu Xiaodong's home.

He suddenly wanted to take a look.

Feng Wan didn't know anything, and enthusiastically led him upstairs, and said as he walked, "I've packed a room for you, see if there's anything you need to add, and your dad and I will buy it for you. From now on, our family will live together in harmony..."

Ning Bai said, "Which room belongs to Lu Xiaodong?"

Feng Wan was reluctant to mention Lu Xiaodong in front of Ning Bai. She probably felt that she had another son, as if she had betrayed Ning Bai. She said silently, "At that time your father felt sorry for me and insisted on bringing a child back. Keeping... this room is his..."

Ning Bai walked into the room.

This room is simple and clean, although it is a little childish, but it does not look dirty and messy, which is beyond his expectation.

He turned to Feng Wan and said, "I want to be alone for a while."

Feng Wan didn't want to leave, but when she met Shang Ning Bai's indifferent eyes, her throat froze suddenly, so she nodded and left.

Ning Bai's fingers lightly brushed over the desk. The books on the desk were neatly arranged, but because no one lived there, a light layer of dust fell on the desk. There was a group photo of the family on the desk. In the photo, the boy With a bright smile, the man and woman behind him are gentle, they look like a beautiful family, but maybe this is just a deliberate illusion, a photo can't represent anything...

The sheets are simple gray checks, the walls are white, without too many decorations, this room is completely different from the first impression Lu Xiaodong gave him.

Lu Xiaodong who appeared in front of him at that time had gray hair dyed, earrings and smoky makeup, with a frivolous and wanton expression, like a street gangster, but this room was just an ordinary college student s room.

Looking at this, I seem to be able to see what the boy really looked like when he was at home...

Those previous violations seemed to have an explanation.

Rebellion is the protective color he uses to camouflage, but only in his own small space is he himself.

So when he no longer wears that outfit, he will give people a clean and refreshing feeling, even if he is a little cunning and vicious, he will fight against him and provoke him, but it will not make people hate him, because his nature is not like that... Deliberately acting like he wants to be hated can only deceive himself.

Ning Bai glanced over the bedside table, and suddenly saw a gap in the drawer, probably because he left in a hurry and didn't close it properly.

He subconsciously walked over, opened it, and found a book with a black cover.

Ning Bai took out the notebook.

Then he smiled wryly, does this child still have the habit of writing a diary? It's more sensitive than he imagined...

This is a very interesting thing, Ning Bai didn't intend to read it at first, but he hesitated for a moment holding the book, wanting to understand the boy's thoughts in his heart, finally gained the upper hand.

A trace of struggle appeared in Ning Bai's eyes, but he opened the notebook anyway.

"My mother asked me to learn the piano. Actually, I don't like it very much, but if it makes my mother happy, I will study hard."

"I learned a new piece of music today, and I wanted to play it to my mother, but she was very upset after listening to it, saying that I played it badly and it was useless...but the teacher obviously praised me for playing it well, why doesn't my mother like it? Woolen cloth……"

"I didn't do well in the exam today, even worse than last time. I know I'm going to disappoint my parents again."

"Probably because I'm not smart enough or capable enough, so no matter what I can't do well, I can't fulfill their wishes..."

"Do they really love me?"

"Sometimes, I think it's good for them to scold me, but they always look at me disappointed. Sometimes I don't know whether I let them down, or they never had hope in me."

"I dyed my hair and got my ears pierced. They finally got angry and scolded me. It turned out that if I made a mistake, they would be angry too. At least they didn't ignore me today."

The look in Ning Bai's eyes became more and more painful, he almost couldn't bear to watch it, but he still turned it down.

"I kind of don't want to work hard, because trying never works, because I was born useless."

"Everyone is born with their own meaning of existence, but what is my meaning?"

"I started spending my money and hanging out, and I finally had a lot of friends who flattered me and we did things together, and I didn't really like it, but I kind of found a sense of existence, and when I was with them, I felt like I am important."

"But they are nice to me, is it because I have money?"

"I know no one will love me, no one will like me, who would like someone like me, useless stupid and annoying."

"But I don't care, because I already knew."

"It doesn't matter if you're hated... I really don't care at all."

"No one likes a useless person like me."

"I don't need someone to love me."

Ning Bai finally couldn't stand it anymore, and squeezed his fingers so hard that they turned white and trembled slightly.

He closed his eyes in pain.

The nightmare that he had deliberately forgotten swept over again. He swore that he would never be dominated by those nightmares again. He had become strong enough. He let go of the woman's hand and walked into the crowd. He thought all this It has passed.

But no.

Even if I had expected and guessed it, but when I saw this diary with my own eyes, I realized that the reality is always more cruel.

Only then did I know how you got here in the past twenty years.

sorry……

I only know now that all your sufferings are related to me.

In a trance, he seemed to have returned to that silent and gloomy world.

This time it wasn't just him.

There is a little child, he is ignorant, ignorant, standing there blankly, he doesn't know why he exists, and he doesn't know why he appears there, he just looks at the man and woman in front of him like this.

He tried hard to be loved by his so-called parents, tried his best to do better, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not be recognized, because in the eyes of men and women, he would always be Not as good as yourself.

Always, what is lost is the best.

And he's just an unwelcome replacement.

But the boy didn't know.

He thought it was just that he was not good enough, he thought it was just that he was not good enough, he began to hate himself, and finally became what he hated.

He is used to the disappointed eyes of men and women, and the indifference and coldness of men and women.

He tried his best to get attention...

But in the end it always fails.

Every time I fall and get up, I only fall harder and harder.

Then he finally gave up.

He thinks it's all his fault, he's useless, he doesn't care about being hated...

No need to be loved.

Because he doesn't deserve to be loved.

He gradually accepted this fact.

In fact, it was not like this, Ning Bai slowly opened his eyes, with a hint of bitterness in his eyes, and brushed his fingers across the diary.

not like this.

You're fine, you're a great kid... none of this is your fault.

What is wrong is the person who doesn't know how to love you.

them.

And I.