Chapter 212 - Guilt-Trip

Chun Hua jumped to her feet with knit eyebrows when she heard the announcement of the Emperor's arrival. She was not expecting the Emperor to suddenly come to see her again.

Last night when she was taken out of her cell, she was prepared to be tortured again. But instead, the Emperor observed her for a while and then informed that Lei Xing was grateful to her for trying to help her and so she had pleaded on her behalf. Therefore, the Emperor decided to spare her and told her to return to her former life. 

Before the guards could escort her out of the prison, she got on her knees and pleaded with the Emperor for one last chance to see Lei Xing again so she could at least apologize and thank her for her grace in person. The Emperor hesitated and eventually, he just told the guards to escort her out.

Chun Hua thought that she had failed but after her wounds were tended to and her meager belongings were brought to her. It was obvious they had been rummaged through but she was not worried about them finding anything there and assumed it was just to ensure she was not taking any stolen items from the palace. Then to her surprise, she was brought a meal and then told to rest. 

Chun Hua tried to talk to the attending maid to get a sense of what was happening, but the maid did not respond to any of her questions, other than giving directives, she was ignored. 

So, Chun Hua assumed that it was Lei Xing who arranged all this for her and she expected to be summoned the next day. She went to sleep with hope that her plans could still be carried out. And all day today, she had been waiting to be summoned.

But then the Emperor came back to see her? 

She was puzzled as to why he would come back here. But then got her explanation when the doors opened and she saw Lei Xing follow the Emperor in. Chun Hua immediately fell to her knees and bowed in greeting and then glanced up at Lei Xing and began to play her role. She immediately kowtowed and shakily began, "Your majesty, Your highness, h-how could I cause you to come to a place like this...If I had known, I would have waited outside. I apolo-"

The Emperor dismissively cut in, "Noble consort Lei was concerned for your injuries and insisted on coming here to see you." 

{...I did what now? O_O)...}

Lei Xing immediately turned to the Emperor with a raised eyebrow. He simply raised his eyebrows and motioned his head towards Chun Hua, signaling for her to play the concerned role. Lei Xing knit her brows but disgruntedly played along, "Yes, how are you?"

Chun Hua sat back on her knees as she looked at Lei Xing with tears running down her face, "I am well...But..." She paused and choked back tears and then continued, "...Y-you treated me with kindness and...not only did I not repay you but I also brought you trouble...I deserve death!" She sobbingly said as she kowtowed again, banging her head on the ground.

Lei Xing turned to the Emperor with a pout and an accusing glare. The Emperor lightly raised an eyebrow at her and thinking that her accusing glare was because of Chun Hua's injuries, he lightly shrugged and looked off to the side. 

{...I'll explain it to her later...It was all necessary...}

But Lei Xing did not care about Chun Hua's injuries, and her accusing glare was because he put her in an awkward position and she did not like it. But that was an issue for later, Lei Xing turned her gaze back to the kowtowing and sobbing Chun Hua.

{...What the hell am I supposed to do with this crying person? And what did he mean by "grateful"...Okay, yes she tried to help - not sure that I believe that though, but let's say that I do. It's not like her efforts resulted in my life being spared, it honestly was a completely pointless and useless move, Li Ru couldn't do anything...Not that she could have done anything else, but...I just don't feel that grateful...}

Lei Xing let out a sigh and said, "Stand up." 

Chun Hua shook her bowed head, "No, I will rep-"

"Stand up." Lei Xing cut in a louder and firm tone that shocked both the Emperor and Chun Hua. Lei Xing was not in the mood for this self-pity act to get sympathy.

Chun Hua frowned but quickly put on a proper pitiful expression as she slowly and shakily stood up with her head lowered. Lei Xing noticed her favoring a leg and then said in a gentle but flat tone, "Sit down." Chun Hua did not protest and complied thinking that it was better for her plans if she cooperated with Lei Xing's orders.  

"Why did you want to see me?" Lei Xing directly asked. 

Chun Hua wanted to get on her knees again, but as soon as she moved Lei Xing immediately ordered, "Sit and talk."

"I want to apologize for causing you trouble...and..." Chun Hua hesitated and sniffed, holding back tears, she then looked up at Lei Xing with a resolute and beseeching expression, "I will use the rest of life to pay for this sin, please allow me this retribution!"

She kowtowed again and continued, "It does not matter what sort of task you assign me to, I will be satisfied with even scrubbing the floor you walk on, just let me repay you with this little life of mine!" She finished and held her breath, waiting for Lei XIng to respond.

Lei Xing pursed her lips and let out a silent breath.

{...This again -_-)...}

"Please accept me!" Chun Hua added when Lei Xing did not immediately respond.

"I don't need that..." Lei Xing finally said, "You had no control over Chen You's actions and so I do not hold anything against you. You did your best given the circ.u.mstances and I appreciate that...In light of that, we will help you find employment outside the palace...Or if you would rather stay, perhaps a position in one of the bureaus here?" Lei Xing asked turning to the Emperor and he immediately added, "That can be arranged."

Lei Xing nodded and then said, "It's settled then, whichever you choose you will be seen to. Recover well." Lei Xing finished and was ready to turn and leave thinking her job was done. But of course, Chun Hua was not happy with this and immediately raised her head and irritatedly blurted out, "I don't need any of that!..." Lei Xing stopped and then raised an eyebrow at her, surprised by the harsh tone of her voice.

Chun Hua blinked as she realized her error and quickly readjusted her tone and explained, "...I am not asking to serve you because I don't have a choice. The Chen family rewarded me very well for saving the Madam's life, so I can find a way for myself but...this incident would forever weigh on my conscience...If I just left, I wouldn't be able to live with that, so please accept as your servant!" She finished with a kowtow again and added, "Please accept me." 

Chun Hua kept her head down as she waited for Lei Xing's response. As the silence stretched, she grit her teeth in annoyance and a deep scowl formed on her face.

{...What is she being so difficult for? She is even more irritating than that stupid Chen You...And if that idiot had just listened to me - Well, given the events that happened after nothing would have changed. This stupid Emperor has proven himself to be a complete fool for this girl. He even followed her all the way here...

...What a joke! He's a lot more useless than I thought...But if that stupid Chen You had listened, I would not be here groveling like this...Having to cater to the needs of another stupid girl is irritating and demeaning...}

Lei Xing let out a breath as she stared at the top of Chun Hua's head. Then she glanced at the Emperor, who simply smirked and shrugged and Lei Xing frowned.

{...So unhelpful, what's his point of being here? -_-)...Also, what is this girl's problem with being a freaking maid?... Your conscience, your problem. I don't owe you a chance for "salvation", so don't guilt-trip me with your freaking problem. It's irritating!...}

"I am not obligated to cater to your conscience. Since you now have means, I wish you good luck in your endeavors outside the palace." And with that said, Lei Xing immediately turned and strutted out of the room, feeling irritated with this whole encounter. 

Her encounters with Chun Hua always made Lei Xing feel horrible. Chun Hua always seemed so pitiful and made Lei Xing feel like a bully for denying her. But Lei Xing could not help her suspicions, Chun Hua always seemed too eager to serve and that had always just rubbed her the wrong way. It was unnerving and suspicious.

By the time, Chun Hua raised her head to continue her desperate pleading, she only saw the train of Lei Xing's dress disappearing past the open doors and her gaze met that of the servants standing there. She knit her brows and swallowed in irritation and then turned her gaze to the Emperor, who had a small smile as he looked at the corner Lei Xing had disappeared in. 

Chun Hua froze and then immediately frowned in annoyance, suddenly feeling rage bubbling up in her towards Lei Xing and disgust towards the Emperor. She quickly lowered her head, hiding her face before anyone could discern her expression.

Chun Hua seethed in anger, if only Lei Xing had accepted her then, the Emperor would be at death's door by now. While he never took Chen You's tonics, it was clear he would have happily taken Lei Xing's. If only Lei XIng had not been so stubborn...if only the Emperor was less of a fool.

{...Feelings like this are useless...They only make one stupid just like him...If not for this girl being so difficult, I could have easily killed him with her hands. I wonder how he would about her then...}

Chun Hua would never admit it, but there was a tiny part of her that was jealous of Lei Xing, jealous of what she saw on the Emperor's face. She did not want him...but some part of her wanted that but she knew she would never have it.

Prince Houyi was not an affectionate man and neither was she an affectionate woman. They would never have that, but they would both have their ambitions and that was enough.

"You heard her." The Emperor said and Chun Hua glanced up at him to see him looking at her with cool indifference, "Escort her out of the palace." He flatly said and then left the room to follow behind Lei Xing, leaving two Eunuchs behind to escort her out.

Chun Hua stared at the doors and felt at a loss. They were throwing her out, she failed before she even really got a chance to try. She could not go back empty-handed, it would just prove her inadequate.

The Eunuchs asked her to stand up and when she did not comply, one of them grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet. Chun Hua snapped out of her wallowing state and snapped her arm free and condescendingly said, "I can walk." Then she turned and grabbed her bag and walked out the doors as her mind wheels turned, searching for a new strategy.

{...There must still be something I can do. I just have to wait for an opportunity...No, I just have to find it...}