Chapter 203 - Hindsight

After they finished dinner, Lei Xing sent the servants away once the dinner table was cleared. Since Lei Xing was tired of sitting on the stool, they moved to the seats on the side, where she could lean back and relax.

The Emperor sat there sipping tea and waiting for Lei Xing to begin their talk, but she just sat there taking care of cooling her wrist and sipping her own tea. The more time passed, the more nervous and uncomfortable the Emperor became.

He glanced at her and noticed that her hand was shaking as she was soaking the cloth in the water one hand. So he immediately took over the task from her and Lei Xing immediately relinquished the task and smiled at him. He wringing the cloth and handed it to her, she took it with another smile and put it on her wrist.

Lei Xing was happy for his help and smiled at him. 

{...There's really nothing to complain about, at all...He's really too good as a person. No, correction, he's great as a partner...Sketchy. Stop that -_-)...Just joking, it's a nice feeling being pampered...*sigh* He's definitely a giver...and I'm not? I mean, I am considering the pros and cons of this venture...Is that bad? Sounds awful ⚆ _ ⚆)...I'm not being horrible, I'm being reasonable. Perfectly reasonable ( ￣^￣ )...}

Lei Xing took a deep breath and finally began their talk, "I understand that we are, for all intents and purposes, already married...And I do believe you have genuine feelings for me, and I believe that you will keep your word...And I also understand that the Empress's position is simply a step up-"

"It's more than a step up..." The Emperor calmly interjected. He did not like the way she framed it, it made it sound like it was an insignificant choice on his part, which it was not.

Lei Xing latched on to that point and responded, "Precisely, it is not so simple...You can't just make someone Empress today and then unmake them tomorrow."

"I never said I planned on dethroning you." The Emperor said knitting his brows.

Lei Xing raised an eyebrow, "So you mean to let me go but still have me retain the Empress's position, for what?" She was seriously perplexed by that reasoning.

The Emperor cast her a quick glance and then faced forward again. He did not expect to be met with such questions. He let out a calming breath and said, "It could keep you safe...No one would dare to treat you badly for fear of offending you."

"Okay...But at the same time, that would make me a perfect target for someone who has a problem with you...Or for blackmail, kidnapping - It would be a lot better and safer for me to be a deposed Empress, no one would care then...It's not like I'll be leaving with an entire army for protection." Lei Xing said with a light chuckle at the idea, her mood was really too good right now and she could not help the jab.

"If that is what is needed to keep you safe, then an army you will take." The Emperor responded, completely serious to Lei Xing's surprise. 

Lei Xing blinked at him and then burst into a short laugh, thinking it was making a joke. But clearly he was not, because the Emperor glared at her. Lei Xing quickly cleared her throat several times to suppress the laughter.

{...Oh, he's been serious...haha Interesting...and sweet...}

The Emperor faced forward again, it did not seem like she was taking this seriously and it was somewhat irritating to him. He had never actually thought about her using this edict, but here she was focusing on the process of using it. It was somewhat offputting and annoying...The Emperor suddenly blinked as a thought occurred to him.

{...If she's thinking of using then...she's thinking of accepting it?...}

"Now that you mention, it did say I could take whatever I willed. That's a very risky term, what if I had the army clean out the treasury?... According to the terms of the contract, I can do that." Lei Xing said half-serious.

"Contract?" The Emperor asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, contract. That edict is a contract between you and me." Lei Xing offhandedly said and then added, "...I just wanted to point out that unfair term now so you take the chance to rectify it now, so there will be no issues in the future...For the sake of fairness." She added that last part with a smile, it was obvious it was an afterthought which she probably did not mean.

But the Emperor was not concerned with the validity of pursuit for "fairness" claims, he smirked at her and said, "If you want the treasury, you can have it...the contract did state to take as you will, exactly as I meant it to."

Lei Xing narrowed her eyes at him and said, "Don't tempt me."

{...It is quite the tempting prospect - FOCUS!...Even given the opportunity, I wouldn't actually clean out a country's vault just because I can...I'm not the spiteful sort...But I definitely would not be leaving empty-handed, I'm much more reasonable than that hahahahaha - FOCUS! >_

The Emperor could clearly see that Lei Xing was processing the idea of the treasury. He quietly chuckled to himself and waited for her to say something, but she just picked up her teacup and started sipping quietly. The Emperor reached out and took the cloth from her wrist and resoaked it and handed it back to her. He was starting to feel nervous again as the silence stretched.

{...Is she stretching this out intentionally or is she is just nervo-...}

"I understand what you're trying to do...and I appreciate it. But you can't just come to a decision like this because of one, maybe two nights..." Lei Xing finally spoke up again, "It is a rushed decision, and rushed often means rash..."

"I did not come to this decision last night or the other night." The Emperor immediately clarified, he turned to her and informed, "I made my decision the first night you stayed in my palace."

Lei Xing blinked and then knit her brows in thought.

{...The first night?... When his crazy mother strangled me? Really? But...that was quite a while ago and...I didn't think th- Well, I guess he did start bothering since then...}

After a bit of thought, the Emperor continued, "...Perhaps, I had already subconsciously decided on you even before I knew who you were. Remember I had once asked you to become my Empress before...Back then you said you had the qualifications but lacked the motivation because you did not know me. So this time I took the time for us to get to know each other, for you to know and accept me..."

"...I admit that the moment I found out you were Lei Yong's sister, I wished my choice would be you. I also admit that the night I came to the decision, I did not have these feelings for you, well at least they were not substantial enough then...The decision was made mostly based on the fact that you satisfied all my requirements for my Empress. I considered you smart, reasonable, level-headed and we got along well. Romantic feelings were never something I expected to encounter in my life. It was never something I envisioned until I found you..."

"...You said it yourself that you believed you had the qualifications of an Empress, I believe the same. I had hoped you would have found the motivation to assume the position now..." Remembering that he was not trying to pressure her, he added, "I hope you will find the motivation now..."

Lei Xing lowered her eyes. Of course, she remembered that incident, it almost traumatized her. In her own words, she had claimed she could not respond because she did not know him. She was already his wife now and she knew him quite well...more than well. He had opened up to her and she had done the same.

Lei Xing sighed as she remembered her behavior then

{...Even my own excuses got thrown out the window...I definitely can't claim to be "ignorant" of his - what was it again? "Benevolent person" now...As for motivation, well - Speaking of which, I was very daring then, quite stupid really O_O)...What the hell was I thinking? If he was anyone else, I could have been - hindsight is really 20/20...But well, I couldn't very well have just gone "yeah, sure" then. I was probably more irritated that he asked and he did say to be honest so I was...*sigh* Wonder would have happened if I did say "yes" then...}

Since he brought it up and she had always been curious, she directly asked, "Why did you ask that then? I mean, the first time? As you said, you didn't even know anything about me, not even my name. It obviously was not love at first sight...So what made you ask that question? I've always wondered about that...tell me."