Chapter 125 - Period L"u"st

While the Emperor trailed kisses down Lei Xing's neck, he successfully loosened her shirt and the strings of her undergarments. Then he turned her over, opened the shirt and easily slipped off her undergarment, leaving her upper body completely exposed. The Emperor paused for a bit to simply admire the sight and ran a hand down the length of her body. He leaned down and kissed her lips but when Lei Xing did not part her lips for him like usual, he softly called, "Xing er'?"

While Lei Xing did not respond or return his kiss, the Emperor looked at her closed eyes and thought that she was feeling shy. He gently stroked her face as he nibbled on her lips, then kissed both her cheeks to reassure her, before continuing his kissing exploration down her body, slowly and patiently savoring and loving her.

Lei Xing, on the other hand, squeezed her eyes shut and was taking deep breaths to calm herself. She fisted her hands to restrain herself from covering herself or pushing him off as he explored her body with his hands and mouth. 

{...It's fine...After this, he'll leave...He'll leave...But -...It's better that way...It's fine...}

The Emperor could feel her trembling but reasoned it was because she was nervous. He slightly smiled and kissed his way back to her face to kiss her lips as he fiddled with the ties of her pants.

Then he froze when he saw the deep scowl on her face with her eyes tightly squeezed closed and beads of sweat forming on her forehead. She looked as if she was pain and under immense pressure. He glanced down and saw her tightly clenched fists, he knit his brows and asked, "Are you afraid of me?"

Lei Xing was completely taken aback by the sudden question. She opened her eyes and looked up at him questioningly. The Emperor then sighed and stroked her cheek and gently asked, "Are you?"

Lei Xing knit her brows then looked away and quietly responded, "No." She may be wary of him, but she has never really felt afraid of him. She actually thought of him as more of a jokester than anything, who always seemed to be trying to either trap someone in some sort of web just for his entertainment. A jokester who enjoyed toying with people for fun, although she never thought of him as malicious.

"Then why?" The Emperor asked with a frown. 

Lei Xing looked at him confused with his question, but she was having trouble looking directly at him right now and so quickly looked away and mumbled, "Why what?"

The Emperor's frown deepened and he looked at her for a bit and then flatly asked, "Why does your expression seem like I'm torturing you?"

Lei Xing blinked up at him, completely baffled. She opened her mouth and then closed it, not knowing what to say and lowered her eyes. This seemed to have further aggravated the Emperor as he impatiently ordered, "Answer me." While staring her down.

Lei Xing looked up at him and his cold eyes made her involuntarily shudder and she quickly looked away, feeling a sense of fear. 

"I said answer me." The Emperor pressed in a chilling voice.

Lei Xing knit her brows, feeling a bit panicked, she blurted out, "I...I don't know." Then quickly moved her hands and covered herself with her shirt, keeping her hands there holding the flaps as she took deep breaths and frowned.

She did not need to look at him to feel the coldness coming from his eyes and she did not want to look. She also knew that he was probably not happy with what she just did, but she just did not want to anymore, regardless of what he wanted. The Emperor narrowed his eyes at her and just stayed there for a while looking at her for a while, then he asked, "Then do you hate me?"

Lei Xing cast him a quick side glance, completely confused now. His cold eyes unnerved her and she felt cold and upset. She took a deep breath to control herself and then flatly said, "No."

The Emperor looked at her with an unconvinced expression, he did not need to pay attention to see her hesitation, and he was paying attention. Unfortunately, Lei Xing did not look at him and so missed the disbelieving and then hurt expression on his face as he swiftly got off the bed and stormed out of the room.

Lei Xing then sat up and looked towards the direction he disappeared in. She let out a sigh of relief as she tied her shirt back together. He had never looked at her like that before, not even while interrogating her all those times. She had never seen him look so cold or speak so coldly before and it somewhat frightened her. He somehow always seemed to be smiling to her, even when he was frowning.  Lei Xing let out a shaky sigh.  

{...It seems I had been lulled into a false sense of security...What have I been thinking?...}

Lei Xing ran a hand through her hair and brought her knees up and put her head on it.

{...This is a worst-case scenario, isn't it? I think I have successfully pissed him off...but how is this my fault?!...}

Lei Xing took a deep breath and plopped back down on the bed and covered herself with the blanket. Then she laid on her side and closed her eyes to sleep, but then could not and just lay there staring in the direction he had left. Not really thinking about anything, just blankly staring. She was not sure how much time passed when the doors opened again but she quickly shut her eyes. She slightly opened them to peek, only to see a maid carrying out his memorials. 

Lei Xing blinked a few times then knit her brows. 

{...I guess he's not coming back...That's good...He must have gone somewhere else to satisfy himself...That's good...It's much better this way...}

Lei Xing turned the other way and wrapped the blanket even more closely around herself and closed her eyes shut to sleep. Then she sighed and opened her eyes again and blankly stared at the wall.

{...Will he punish me for this? Maybe...He probably wouldn't send me out of the palace considering he knows I want that, it wouldn't be much of a punishment...Well, he could always make me a slave or banish me with nothing, he probably knows I'd hate those more...but wouldn't that too much?...

...I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be that unreasonable...right? There's also my family too so he wouldn't...

...I guess there's always the cold palace, whippings, and the list runs on...Probably demote me to a concubine for good measure too...Maybe I'm thinking too much, perhaps he wouldn't even care to...Perhaps...}

Lei Xing remembered that she had arranged to go see Princess Nalan the next day, but now it seems she won't be in a position to make such visits anymore. She laid there contemplating the troubles her tomorrow would bring for a long while, eventually drifting off to sleep still feeling extremely uneasy.