Chapter 95 - Mimeo

{...*Coincidence!...I was just annoyed with your oblivious behavior!...}

{...I don't buy it -_-)...}

{...I really don't know him! Never even heard of him! I just thought...Since he's an Emperor he must be smart and all that stuff too...Yes! You know becoming Emperor isn't easy haha...}

{...-_-)...Idiots become Emperors too...}

{...*True, but you have a high opinion of him and you're really not an easy person to impress...}

{...I don-...}

{...*You do! Although you also think he's annoying, then again, you think everyone is annoying, even me! And I'm wonderful! I have a great personality and everything, I can't say the same about you. Therefore -... What was I talking about again?...}

{...-_-)...You were telling how you know him...}

{...*Oh yes, since when he was an ado-...}

The bracelet suddenly stopped again and Lei Xing sneered.

{...Continue...}

{...*You tricked me!...}

{...I did no such thing. Continue...}

{...*Look, I honestly don't know your Emperor personally, but I know of him...I know his exact type!... Hehe~ I've actually spent quite a long time studying his type! I've watched someone just like him grow up...}

{...Ahh, I see. So you watched him grow up...Are you Eunuch Li?!...}

{...*What?! Of course not! I am much more brilliant!... Anyway, back to your question...from my experience with this type, he-...}

{...I didn't ask you a question -_-)...}

{...*Irrelevant! His problem is that he is STUPIDLY OVERCONFIDENT!...}

Lei Xing scoffed.

{...Overconfident? Power trip much? (◔_◔)...}

{...*-_-)...How did you turn out this way?...}

{...What did I do now?...}

{...*Why are you so - *sigh* Don't you feel anything? At all? A few moments ago you were blushing in his arms and now you're -...}

Lei Xing burst out laughing.

{...Awwn how cute, a bracelet with a romantic heart...Let me enlighten you. It's normal for people to react like that in those situations. I'm still a person with a body, and the body reacts the way it reacts. There's no helping it. Those momentary feelings are fleeting at best and mean nothing. Haha can't believe I have to explain this to you, thought you were brilliant hahahahahaha...}

{...*-_-)...Leaving the dead at heart aside...}

{...Whatever you say hahaha...}

Lei Xing laid down on her bed still laughing. She was actually enjoying this discussion, it was taking her mind off the events of the evening.

{...*What I meant is that he is overconfident because in his mind, you're already his...You're already married. Therefore, he feels no rush to act and is comfortable with playing the long game, annoyingly so...The best weapon to propel him to act is COMPETITION!...So just go flirt with someone else, that should be enough! Anyone will do!...}

{...-_-)...Yeah, I'm not doing that...}

{...*WHY NOT?!!...}

{...Because my head could fly...}

{...*He would never hurt you...}

{...Says a bracelet who doesn't "know" him...Also, have you not been paying attention? I don't care to "propel" him. Frankly, I want the opposite...and you seem awfully interested in the love life of a "stranger"...}

{...*I told you I don't know him!! It's just...just...he reminds me of someone. I mean the situation does...I just feel bad for the poor child who has fallen for an impossible girl...}

{...I'm not impossible and he's not a poor "child". He's a rich Emperor with an expanding harem, so nothing to feel bad about...How about this? Since you have a lot of love for him, how about I gift him to you? Sorry, I meant gift you to him. That way you can happily enjoy his company and personally coach him on the art of "propelling"...}

{...*No!...]

{...Tch, it was worth a try -_-)...}

Lei Xing yawned and wrapped herself in her blanket.

{...I am going to sleep now so be quiet...}

{...*I once knew two idiots just like the two of you...The-...}

{...I said I'm going to sleep -_-)'...}

{...*Fine! I'll talk to myself then!...}

{...Yeah, have fun...}

{...*Hmph! I will!...}

Lei Xing yawned again and snuggled into the blanket to sleep, completely worn out after going through so many twists and turns in one day.

The next day, Lei Xing woke up to find the palace on high alert again.

Apparently, the Empress dowager was in another crazy mood and had almost killed a monk this morning. The news was all over the palace and Xiao Ruo was sure to share it with Lei Xing as she had her brunch.

It turns out that the Empress dowager has been on a soul searching journey of her own and had been inviting monks to the palace to consult with over the past few days. 

So today's monk of the day had actually daringly brandished a whip in front of the Empress dowager in an attempt to "cleanse her soul". When Lei Xing heard this, she almost rolled on the floor laughing, with Xiao Ruo almost in tears worried over her getting in trouble. Lei Xing restrained herself and told her to continue.

In retaliation for his daring deed of disrespect, the Empress dowager was hopping mad and ordered for them to lop off his head. Fortunately for him, Song mama pleaded with her not to anger the heavens by killing a monk.

So, the Empress dowager settled on having the guards to whip him a hundred times while she watched. On top of that, she ordered that if he even screamed a little they were to cut off his tongue, dice it up and feed it to pigs.

The monk was extremely resilient and did not even utter a whimper. He simply closed his eyes and meditated the whole time, which further exasperated the Empress dowager. Lei Xing mentally applauded and nodded in appreciation.

{...Now that's who I should be learning meditation fro-...Shit! Why did I think of that?! >_

Xiao Ruo saw Lei Xing's reddening face and worriedly asked, "Your highness, are you feeling unwell?"

Lei Xing looked up at her, "What? No, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Your face is ver-"

"I'm fine!" Lei Xing barked, Xiao Ruo immediately kept quiet. Lei Xing pouted and pat her face.

{...Stupid memory!...}

{...*Hah! See, you're blushing and he's not even here...I know you car-...}

{...Mind your own business! It's a normal bodily reaction!...}

{...*Denial isn't a way to live...}

{...(◔_◔)...}

Lei Xing ignored the bracelet and told Xiao Ruo to continue her report.

The other big news floating around the palace was about Princess Nalan and the Emperor. About how the Emperor was already doting on her before she even entered the palace. He had apparently ordered the location of the welcome banquet changed last minute to suit her demands, causing the servants to run all over the place trying to get everything ready.

As Xiao Ruo told Lei Xing about this news, she was casting worried glances at her expecting she would be in a bad mood again due to last night's failure. To her surprise, Lei Xing was leisurely relaxing and happily listening.

{...Ahh, I see...That explains last night. He's saving himself for his newest addition. The exotic choice of a foreign princess. Nice!...}

{...*You know that's not the case -_-)'...}

{...I said MIND YOUR BUSINESS. Prepare to go home!...}

{...*And I said, I'm not leaving!...}

{...-_-)'...}