Chapter 33 - Consideration

After another long while of silence, the emperor sighed.

{...Nevermind, I'll let it be for now...the investigation should hopefully reveal some clues...perhaps she is unaware of whatever it is...but it does seem like she is hiding something...}

"What would you have wished for if you won?" The emperor calmly asked.

Lei Xing looked at him suspiciously, "I hadn't thought of it."

{...Why does it matter now? Rubbing salt in my very sore wounds-_-)...}

The emperor raised an eyebrow and snorted, "So you worked so hard with nothing in mind? I find that hard to believe."

"Well a wish from the emperor is incredibly valuable, so naturally one should work hard." Lei Xing said with a smile plastered on her face.

The emperor nodded, "That is true...I seem to remember you trying to negotiate your exit from the palace before...I thought it would be that."

Lei Xing didn't say anything.

"I was planning on considering your request...but since you have nothing in mind, and it seems you have changed your mind about the palace, then you can stay on the palace, it doesn't matter to me either way." The emperor offhandedly said with a smile.

Lei Xing froze and knit her brows in contemplation.

{...He's not serious right?... He is definitely not serious...but what if he is?... It's a trick! I used to do this to my younger brother when he asked me for money, I'd agree to "consider" for fun and have him make his argument and then tell him no...consideration does not equal a yes, it's just a way to mess with people, a delayed NO!!... I'm not falling for it!...but what if he serious though? T_T)...}

While Lei Xing was going through her internal struggle, the emperor seemed unaffected and casually picked up a memorial and was looking it over. Lei Xing looked at him.

{...I mean there were sometimes I said yes too after messing with him...even though it was not often...so maybe T_T)...}

"Ah...could you really?" Lei Xing hesitantly asked in a quiet strained voice.

The emperor glanced up at her, "Yes, I'll just need to write an edict. I thought you didn't have anything in mind?"

Lei Xing nervously laughed and explained, "Well not at that time, but there was that thought at some point...in time."

The emperor raised an eyebrow, "I see..." and then looked down again.

Lei Xing waited a while for him to continue, but he didn't say anything, so she spoke up, "Ah...so..."

The emperor looked up at her expectant face and said, "Grind the ink."

Lei Xing's face instantly lit up with a bright smile and she quickly and enthusiastically started grinding the ink, and then suddenly stopped. She looked at the emperor suspiciously, "Ah, just out of curiosity...could I ask why?"

The emperor looked at her, "Why what?"

"Why you would just let me out of the palace?... I mean, you said no before." Lei Xing carefully said.

The emperor narrowed his eyes, "Does it matter?"

Lei Xing laughed, "I guess it doesn't." The emperor motioned for her to continue grinding the ink, she smiled and quickly continued the task.

{...At what point is the ink ready?...I've never done this before...}

After grinding for a long while until her hand hurt, she decided the ink was ready and indicated she was done to the emperor and expectantly waited. The emperor dropped the memorial, looked at the ink and then looked at her enthusiastic expression.

{...Go on, hurry up and write...the ink is inky to perfection!... There's also enough to write a book...}

After a while, the emperor asked, "Why do you want to leave the palace?"

Lei Xing blinked.

{...Hey, I thought reasons didn't matter!... Answer carefully, must not upset our benefactor...}

"Ah, I find the palace to be a bit...ah stifling...I am not fit for life in the palace." Lei Xing somewhat honestly answered.

"Not fit?" The emperor nodded and then asked, "Then who is a good fit for the palace?"

Lei Xing looked at him blankly.

{...Dude, what's up with the questionnaire?... I thought we had an understanding...Do I have to pass an aptitude test to get this Freaking piece of paper -_-?)...}

"Well, anyone could possibly be a good fit for the palace...it really does depend on the individual." Lei Xing had no choice but to answer.

The emperor nodded in understanding, "then, in that case, you could also be a good fit as well, right?"

Lei Xing's narrowed her eyes and her eyes dimmed, but she was still grasping at the falling straws and said, "Well it depends on the individual and I have found that I am not a good fit."

"Fair enough...why did you want to enter the palace in the first place?"

Lei Xing rolled her eyes in her head while looking at him blankly.

{...Are you giving it or not?!...}

She restrained the urge to shout and smiled, "I was a naive child."

"And now no longer?" The emperor looked at her quizzically.

"You could say I have achieved enlightenment."

"Enlightenment? How so?" The emperor asked seemingly amused.

"I have become aware of my capacity as an individual and came to the realization that I am not suited for life in the palace." Lei Xing replied, almost at the end of her rope.

{...Write it already! -_-)...}

The emperor rest his back on his throne chair and scrutinized her. Lei Xing looked back at him with a guarded expression.

After a while, the emperor suddenly asked, "Do you have feelings for me?"

Lei Xing's eyes went wide and she had to restrain her mouth from hanging open. She just looked at him with a completely flabberghasted expression.

{...Huh? What?! No!... Can I say that?... What the hell - ...}

The emperor looked at her expression and said, "I didn't think so either."

Lei Xing frowned in confusion.

{...Where the hell is this conversation going?...I'm so confused, right now...}

Then the emperor asked another question that left Lei Xing floored again, "Why would a naive child plead like her life depended on it to enter the palace?"

Lei Xing blinked and didn't say anything.

{...What exactly is he talking about right now?... Did she do that? Why?!! T_T)...}

The emperor coolly looked at her, his expression indicated that he was waiting for a response this time. Lei Xing awkwardly smiled, "Like I said I was a naive child."

"Even naive children have their reasons." The emperor swiftly responded, "So what were yours?"

Lei Xing stared at him and knit her brows.

{...How the hell am I supposed to freaking know what she was thinking?!!... Can I say that I had a crush on him then?... But then what if he asks what changed...then what do I say, "Oh, sorry you fell short of my expectations" -_-?)'...Definitely cannot say that...

...Okay, then how about I had dreams of being empress? Remember how he asked you about that before and you gave a lovely, lovely speech about motivation and some other crap...yeah, I definitely cannot say that either, that will just be reminding him of a pit I dug myself...

...Plus, imagine he says some crap about working harder and a giving up too soon pep talk...then I'm definitely not getting out then...Then what could I possibly say?!!!.... Actually, at this point, I don't even think he plans on writing the stupid edict -_-)...}

The emperor calmly waited for Lei Xing to go through her deep contemplation and respond, after a while, she finally said, "I was rather impulsive then."

"What made you impulsive?" The emperor swiftly followed up with another question.

Lei Xing could feel her scalp pulsing.

{...What the hell am I supposed to say to that?!!... I don't know, maybe I was high on something! -_-)'...}

After a while of Lei Xing not saying anything, the emperor said, "It's fine if you don't want to answer."

Lei Xing let out a slight sigh of relief. The emperor sat back up and picked up another memorial, Lei Xing looked at him and although she could guess the likely answer, she still tried her luck and said, "So..."

The emperor looked at her with a questioning expression, she scr.a.p.ed up a smile, "...the edict, please."

"Oh!" The emperor exclaimed said somewhat surprised.

Lei Xing raised an eyebrow.

{...Oh?...I knew it, this ass**le! -_-)...I can already guess the next line...}

"Well, I considered it."

Lei Xing narrowed her eyes.

{...Of course ◔_◔)...}

The emperor continued, "...but it cannot be done at this time."

Lei Xing scoffed in her mind.

{...At this time?... At least have the decency to say a straight "No"...Ahhh, even though I could see this coming, this actually still kinda hurts...Now I feel bad for all those times I played with my brother like this, but isn't karma being too cruel on this case?... When I did it, it was only video games at stake...here my whole life is at stake, isn't this disproportionate? This is unfair! T_T)...}

Lei Xing sighed and looked at the emperor who had gone back to reading and said, "Emperor, since you're busy, I will not disturb you any longer and take my leave."

"No need, you're not disturbing me." Then he looked at her and smiled, "Ah, that reminds me you owe me a debt, don't you?"

Lei Xing narrowed her eyes.

{...Like hell you forgot!...}

"So just stay here and assist me and we'll call it even." He finished with a smile.

Lei Xing's lips twitched.

{...If he called me here to be a maid why did he go through the Sahara to get here? -_-)...}