CH 51.1

That meant that Anne was to go alone.

Anne tossed the paper into the fireplace. The fire quickly swallowed the paper. Anne, silently watching as the roaring fire soon died down to ash, turned her head to Emily.

“Emily . . . Have you heard anything about the capital these days?”

Whenever Emily ran her errands in the Langtenais district, she would bring back news from the north and the capital, which was quite useful to Anne.

Emily opened her mouth.

“I was going to tell you anyway, but there are rumors about the Grand Duke in the capital. He is not a seventy-year-old man, but turns out to be a very good-looking young man.”

It wasn’t unreasonable. Even when he was living in seclusion, rumors of the Cromound family had been circulating, so it must have become more lush since he officially revealed his face.

“And . . .”

Emily suddenly looked into Anne’s eyes and hid her words.

“It’s okay, so tell me.”

“I heard rumors that Young Marquis Whitmore had suddenly caught a fever and was bedridden.”

“Sir Salton?”

Anne was surprised. He had been fine when he left, but to suddenly fall so seriously ill to be bedridden. It was hard to believe because he had the stamina strong enough to serve as the leader of the Imperial Knights. He also visited the North, and right after that . . .

“When the Young Marquis visited, there was a severe snowstorm. Is that why he was sick . . . ? I haven’t heard anything since.”

It wasn’t good news that an acquaintance was sick. As she leaned back, she remembered his face the last time she saw him. On the day of his departure, his complexion had been particularly dark, so she wondered if he hadn’t been feeling well since then. Siena had also been feeling unwell, so she might have passed it on to him.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

In any case, the Marquis would do everything in his power for the sake of his one and only heir, so Anne asked for other news.

“Any rumors about Libelois?”

“Ah . . . They’ve been fussing about money for a while, but it’s been quiet lately. Even the Count and Countess rarely do outside activities.”

It was nice to hear that. It was her wish to live as if they were dead. Suddenly, the Grand Duke’s cold words echoed in her mind.

From now on, live as if you were dead.

Anne rubbed her palm to her stomach at the sudden tingling sensation in her stomach. The Grand Duke’s stern face, who had poured out anger, became vivid in her eyes.

Is this what it means to live as if I were dead?

She wanted her family members to live in silence. Then, did he also look at her with such a wish? Suddenly frustrated, Anne grabbed the glass of water and gulped it down.

“Madam, drink slowly.”

Seeing her like that, Emily remembered the Count and Countess, and thought Anne must have been remembering them, so she placed a new glass of water in front of her.

“Are you going? You don’t want to meet them.”

Anne smiled bitterly. At one time, she took their words for granted and listened to their every word. There was a time when she was heartbroken by their harsh words and punishments. It was natural for her to do what she was told to live up to their expectations. But now, it felt far away.

However, since coming to the Grand Duke’s castle, the past had all felt meaningless. Even if they said anything, she was confident that she would no longer be hurt. Should she say this is thanks to the Grand Duke who trained her enough to get used to harsh words?

“I don’t want to go there. But I thought a trip might let me cool my head for a while.”

Emily’s expression darkened as she looked at Anne’s lonely face.

“Whooo . . .”

Anne’s gaze followed the ridge of the quiet snowy mountain outside the window. Her eyes sank as she wondered if somewhere on that winding mountain ridge was the place where she first stepped on the ground the day she came here.

She had another reason for wanting to leave the castle for a while. It was because she had to be rid of the feelings that she couldn’t ignore as the days went by.

As soon as Anne regained her strength, she heard that the person standing by her side while she was unconscious was the Grand Duke. That the man had never taken a single step away, when she had been bedridden, and had nursed her all this time.

That warm embrace, which she dismissed as a dream, was real, and from that day on, the Grand Duke’s broad arms came to mind for no apparent reason. The smell of his hot breath and his scent that pierced her nose . . .

She already felt too much around him. And the senses that she didn’t want to admit keep accumulating.

Such a rude man . . . Wake up. Have you forgotten all the insults and shame? Just like what you’ve been doing until now, let go of that weakness.