CH 15

I didn’t like my fiancé from the beginning. I already had a girl I wanted to protect. But that girl is already… From the moment I met her, it was decided that she would be the fiancée of the crown prince, who is also my best friend, and there was no way I could overturn the royal decree. From the moment my feelings for her began to grow, I decided to keep them secret and carry them to my grave.

Looking back, I think I was very rude to Sphere. She was a very accomplished woman, probably due in part to the fact that she was three years older than me, so she just went along with me when I rebelled, saying that「it was a forced political marriage」that had been given to me. I can see that now.

She was also an aspiring knight, so we spent more time together as friends than fiancées. The younger women are more popular with Sphere, even though they are the same sex, and every practice match sees fans crowding in and cheering for her in yellow… I was just a little bit envious, but I haven’t told anyone this.

I have very few memories of spending time as a fiancée. Or memories of hunting, long-distance running, and hand-to-hand combat. When I was a little kid, I was losing because of the age difference, but the gender difference between men and women is huge and soon I would be winning more. However, I had a lot of respect for Sphere, who is a skilled knight and the best among female knights.

I think I talked a lot about Remilia to my fiancée. She said she’s going to keep it a secret thought… When I think about it now, I am appalled at what I have done.

But Sphere seemed to enjoy listening to Remilia’s story. The story of magical tools made with scaled ideas that no one has thought of, the non-lethal, life-saving magic developed by Remilia, and the success of a welfare project that has taken off and created jobs and profits without patrons.

She said that she was the right person to be the future mother of the country, and her eyes lit up as she looked forward to Lady Remilia becoming queen and herself becoming a female knight in her service. When I was reluctant to bring up the subject, wondering if it would be「bad for my fiancée,」she would prompt me by asking if I had「anything new to tell her about Lady Remilia.」

So I felt alienated from her, who looked more knowing her than I did. Saying,「I don’t think Lady Remilia is the kind of person who would do such a thing.」

…By royal decree, I was now in charge of the Star Maiden with His Highness Prince Williard and his family… I noticed that she was always with us. At first, it’s the same as those who cling to us in social situations, flattering us… No, it should have been more aggressive and blatant than that, and there should have been nothing but disgust.

I had told Sphere about those days. She was「there for me」as easy-going as a big sister, and she said to me,「If it is a power built steadily in the world of swords, the owner is often humble… but if it’s a talent given from heaven, it is luck and has nothing to do with the owner’s quality. Is she like that?」She said in dismay.

It’s just… At that time. I was silent when I saw the Star Maiden who flirted with us and touched my body, and I felt a hot feeling in my chest at the anxious Remilia’s appearance.

Eventually, I got annoyed when Pina came close to me, but for some reason I couldn’t push her away. I would feel guilty about rejecting a woman who must have been the type of woman I disliked. No, it must have been Remilia’s eyes that looked sad and anxious when Pina was around us. I never knew it could be that addictive.

I was meeting with Sphere, who had already established herself as a knight, as if it were the same as before as she had time for her fiancé, when one day she told me.

「David, aren’t you a little crazy?」

「What are you…」

「How can you, about Miss Pina… why did you choose to take sides with the Star Maiden? It looks like you’re leaning in the wrong direction.」

「Because she was abused by Lady Remilia…」

「That’s not right either. You must have been angry at Miss Pina’s flippant behavior in the beginning. As far as I can hear, you are still doing that same thing. Why do you accept Miss Pina’s conduct now?」

I giggled when she points it out. If I keep her close, Remilia will be jealous. Because she will look at me with those sad eyes. I can’t say that I was. I was also engrossed in Remilia’s words as conveyed by Pina. It was as if she secretly cared about me even though she was bound to me by a political marriage, and she said,「A woman like me is not worthy of David.」

「… Actually, when we spent time together, Miss Pina was not a bad girl… Besides, I have to protect her from Miss Remilia…」

「That’s what I find most disconcerting. I wonder if Lady Remilia is such a bully? She has a reputation as a lady and takes the initiative in welfare. Yes, it started out as cute harassment, but now it’s all about injuries. I find it hard to believe that Lady Remilia would do such a thing.」

In its own words. Remilia struck Pina on the cheek and cried,「David is my childhood friend! We’ve spent so much time together, don’t you dare take that away from me!」I felt like I was being denied the story of her anger by my name… I felt superior to Remilia because she thought I was secretly thinking of her that much. I heard,「How could she possibly have that much feelings for you?」and I was instantly on fire, raging,「There are witnesses,」「We have proof,」and most of all,「You doubt Pina, who cried and apologized to you after she was hit on the cheek?」

With a look of dismay on her face, the Sphere resigned from the day’s meeting… Time passed without the next proper visitation and without questioning it. The night we condemned Remilia was one of them. She denied it to the end, saying「I didn’t do that,」and wouldn’t even acknowledge the fact that she was jealous of Pina… Just remembering it makes me angry.

I’ve been spending even more time with Pina, and today, while I was taking pleasure in hearing her narcotic words,「Remilia-sama did this to me once, she must not have liked me being around Davy so much,」I heard from my parents that Sphere had forcefully ended our engagement by removing herself from the noble family registry. Even at this time, I only felt it was convenient for me to be free now that Remilia had broken off her engagement from Williard.

But without any particular action being taken… I couldn’t get away from Pina that way and drifted to the lower side of the cheaters. I’ve never missed a workout, but when Pina asks me「to stay with her,」I feel like I have to fulfill that wish no matter what it takes.

I’m estranged from my brother, whom I thought I had reconciled with. No, I’m the one avoiding him. I know he despises me and I’m afraid to confront him about it.

We could not restrain Pina’s insistence on attending the evening party to commemorate the one-year anniversary of the start of diplomatic relations with the demon world, and we were ordered by His Majesty「not to let her cause any problems or she would be held responsible for them.」

She has no manners, and we can’t have her in front of a state guest. And yet I can’t reject her. I still feel a strong aversion to Pina’s behavior as well, as I often「don’t have it」…And yet, for some reason, I don’t dislike Pina herself and can’t stop being with her. I know that if I don’t stay away, I’ll be even worse off, but I can’t move because I don’t want Pina to「hate」me.

I is always around Pina like this with Claude and Stefan at the evening party, as well as to keep an eye on her. Because Williard, the Daisho, indeed, cannot be with Pina, who is not his official fiancée, on an official occasion.

Why can’t he shun her? I don’t know why I fell in love with this woman… there was not even a trigger. I clearly remember the day I fell in love with Remilia, but I had fallen in love with Pina as if she had poured poison on me before I knew it.

Lilin wine, which was handed out as a toast and said to be a tribute from the demon tribe, comes to hand. As soon as I drank it down, the「curse」that had been nestled in my chest while spending time with Pina was gone.

How did this happen?

What I believed and clung to was crap. An illusion with no basis in anything. Remilia is not the kind of woman who would hurt anyone with malice or jealousy… I knew it, I should have known it…

She was the kind of person who would carry it alone at that time, grieve alone, hurt alone… I swore I wanted to be a knight to support her in the future. I swore in my heart…

Remilia is so beautiful that I hesitate to look directly at her as she is held by the waist next to the Demon King. She was nothing like the girl I knew, the girl who came to pick me up in the woods, worried about me.

The only one that had changed was… me. Hoping for a change, keeping it close to my heart… I thought that would be enough to support her. I wanted it to be so, and I was the one who believed Pina’s words.

If only I had trusted Remilia to the end.

I should have been the one standing by her side as a knight standing by the side of the Demon King.

I am truly jealous of Sphere who arrived at the right answer without being misled just by what she heard. That woman… If only that woman hadn’t put a curse on me.

After the curse was lifted, I had no feelings left for the woman I had spent so much time with. When I hear that she was forbidden to commit suicide and was forced to work in the mines for the rest of her live, all I can think is,「She deserved it.」I even found myself thinking,「I wouldn’t mind a heavier punishment for her.」

It is too late for regrets. I swore an oath as a knight, and I will finish… I had to be prepared to trust Remilia until I saw it with my own eyes, and yet…

The knightly oath I had taken as a child was tainted by myself and broken when I came to realize it. It was I who broke it.