Zhao Yelan paused, and his brow furrowed slightly: “Yan Mingting has returned to Beijing so soon?”

The border war had been chaotic for several years, and neighboring countries had continued to invade. Yan Mingting’s family had two generations of generals, stationed at the border all year round. They had made great military achievements and had long become the stabilizing force of the Xuan Dynasty. Beijing received the good news last month that Mongolia, the most disobedient country in the north, had finally surrendered, willing to cede land and pay tribute for peace.

At this point, the border was finally at peace. The Emperor’s noble face was exultant, and he immediately ordered the army to return to court.

Counting the days, there should still be a few days before they returned to Beijing.

“It wasn’t the general who came, but the old housekeeper of the general’s mansion, who is quite an amiable fellow. He came to discuss the details of your marriage. If you are not in the mansion, I will let him go back first,” Xiao Gao replied.

“He……” Zhao Yelan was at a loss for words, and asked in confusion after a long moment, “The people in the general’s mansion just gave up like this? How can Yan Mingting be obedient?”

Xiao Gao sighed: “Can he be disobedient? This is an imperial decree, my lord. Let alone General Yan, you also have to act honestly and sincerely……”

Zhao Yelan glanced at him, and Xiao Gao immediately covered his mouth.

It was dusk when he arrived at the palace, and the setting sun fell on the red walls of the palace as it slowly sank.

Zhao Yelan came to the side hall unimpeded. The man in the dragon robe was still reviewing the official memorial.[1] He had a well-proportioned appearance, sharp eyes, and majesty in his gestures. Zhao Yelan cupped his hands respectfully: “Minister Zhao Yelan has seen Your Majesty.”

“Without outsiders, there is no need to be polite,” Zhao Xuan[2] said without raising his head. “Come here, the ink is out.”

Zhao Yelan approached slowly, picked up the ink stone, and skillfully grinded the ink.

For a while, no one spoke, and there was only the faint fragrance of ink lingering around. After a long time, Zhao Xuan took the initiative to speak: “Are you angry about the marriage?”

“This humble minister dares not.”

Zhao Xuan glanced at him sideways, and the other party lowered his head and concentrated on studying the ink, showing no emotion.

They had known each other for many years, after all, so how could Zhao Xuan not know that he had resentment in his heart? His tone softened: “I didn’t know that the guoshi would calculate such a divinatory trigram.”

It was said in the divinatory trigram that the abnormal movement of celestial phenomena were changes in the eight trigrams. Yin and yang were out of balance, and lest society become disturbed, a person born in a yin year, on a yin day, at a yin time must be combined with someone who was born in a yang year, with a yang moon, at a yang time. Only then could the eight trigrams[3] be corrected.

As soon as this trigram came out, all the officials in the court thought of Yan Mingting. Even though he seldom showed up in front of everyone, he was notoriously masculine, outliving his parents and younger brother. There were two marriages before, and the brides passed away one after another before the wedding. Even the dog at home died strangely. It was honestly terrifying.

Although General Yan was a victorious general and was loved by the people, that didn’t mean that they were willing to marry their daughters to him. Who knew if they would receive their daughter’s body before she could enjoy the blessings of being the general’s wife?

What’s more, General Yan was ugly, rude, and domineering, and no woman in Beijing was willing to climb that high.

In the end, Zhao Xuan realized that Zhao Yelan was a person with a yin year and a yin day.

“General Yan has agreed to this marriage,” Zhao Xuan said.

Zhao Yelan scoffed: “The emperor’s decree is difficult to violate. Even if Yan Mingting disagrees, does he dare to seize the loyalty of his ancestors to disobey the imperial decree?”

Zhao Xuan stopped writing and closed the memorial: “It seems that you disagree?”

“This minister dares not.”

“Why don’t you dare? You went to the prison in a grandiose manner and let Yu Junliang commit suicide. I wanted to interrogate him more, but good for you, you directly let him die and hand over the criminal charges he personally signed.” Zhao Xuan gazed at him. “How dare you.”

Zhao Yelan bowed his head and replied: “This minister has no choice but to apologize with death. Please, Your Majesty.”

“What a joke, are you really asking for death? Others don’t know, but how could I not know? Zhao Yelan, you want to live more than anyone else. No one cherishes life more than you.” Zhao Xuan sneered and took two steps closer, and said word by word: “You rely on the fact that I have already granted you a marriage, and the whole world knows about your it. It is impossible to grant you death, so you dare to act recklessly!”

Having been exposed, Zhao Yelan was even calmer, and smiled lightly: “Then, thanking the Emperor for his grace.”

Zhao Xuan’s expression was complicated, and after a long time, he sighed as if exhausted: “Ah, sometimes being too smart is not a good thing.”

Of course Zhao Yelan knew, otherwise he wouldn’t have been given in marriage to a man haunted by a curse. No matter how much the emperor trusted him, he would also be afraid. On the one hand, he used him to eradicate dissidents, but on the other, he must also guard against his power.

Now that the throne had been stabilized, he was no longer needed, but he still required him to bear some infamy.

How could Zhao Yelan not know that compared to death, being given a marriage was considered a blessing in misfortune?

Zhao Xuan said: “In the end, Yu Junliang was going to be executed anyway, so why did you need to do this?”

“I wanted to see him die in front of my eyes, and I couldn’t wait a day, lest a long delay cause complications,” Zhao Yelan said.

Zhao Xuan knew the secret, but still shook his sleeves angrily: “You are getting more and more undisciplined and out of control.”

Zhao Yelan took out a brocade handkerchief from his bosom, handed it to him, and said softly: “This is woven by the embroiderers of Su. Giving this piece to His Majesty, ba, don’t be angry with this one anymore. If you hurt your body, this minister will be very sorry.”

Zhao Xuan looked down at the handkerchief.

“In the future, Your Majesty, please take good care of the body of the dragon, so that the descendents are endless and good fortune stretches for thousands of miles.” Zhao Yelan lifted the hem of his clothes, knelt down, and said loudly, “Long live the emperor, long live, long live.”

Zhao Xuan was taken aback. His brows furrowed even tighter as he watched Zhao Yelan raise his head. His face was like a crown of jade, and at that moment, that shallow black mole seemed to be able to speak, telling of its owner’s unreconciled feelings and the wishes he couldn’t voice.

Zhao Xuan stretched out his hand, and when he was about to touch his cheek, he withdrew it abruptly and gave a faint sigh: “Why did you have to be a man?”

Zhao Yelan remained silent, lowering his eyes to suppress all emotions.

It was time for dinner, and people from the Empress’s palace came to invite the Emperor to have a meal.

Zhao Xuan subconsciously looked at Zhao Yelan. Bowing his head, Zhao Yelan retreated.

Before he left, Zhao Xuan heard his coughing and ordered the imperial physician to deliver some precious medicinal materials, and also gave him a newly acquired night pearl from the treasury.

Back at Zhao Mansion, Xiao Gao immediately ran over, waiting upon Zhao Yelan to wash and eat. There was more food on the table than usual. Xiao Gao was afraid that he would be in a bad mood, so he asked the kitchen to prepare more. After eating, he suggested: “My lord, do you want to go out while you digest? It is said that the new storyteller in Huichun Building is very good at telling stories.”

Zhao Yelan said: “I think you’re the one who wants to hear it.”

Xiao Gao rubbed his hands in embarrassment. “It’s true that I haven’t been there in a while. Sir, aren’t you feeling bored?”

Zhao Yelan looked up at the moon. Thinking that he didn’t know how many happy days were left, he agreed.

Xiao Gao changed him into thicker clothes, just in case. He brought another hot-water bottle, laid a cushion in the sedan chair, called a few maids and servants, and rushed to the largest restaurant in the city together.

It was the busiest time in the night market. Zhao Yelan opened a corner of the curtain, looking at the people coming and going, calling out loudly to friends and companions, and the men and women meeting each other shyly in private.

He turned his head sideways, glanced out of the corner of his eye, and a group of people in front of him caught his attention. There were five or six people in total. One of the women was beating the man next to her as he was helpless to fight back. The other people didn’t intend to step forward and help, but instead watched while laughing and joking.

The tallest man among them, with his back to him, was holding tanghulu in his hands and pointing out the woman’s moves as she beat people.

The sedan chair passed by the pedestrians. Zhao Yelan lazily lowered the curtain, not noticing that the person who was eating tanghulu suddenly turned his head.

“General Yan, what are you looking at?” The lieutenant general followed his line of sight and saw only an exquisite sedan chair, saying jokingly, “Are you looking at some girl?”

“Did you smell a fragrance?” Yan Mingting’s nose twitched. 

“Chicken drumsticks! I smelled it earlier.” The woman stopped, and the beaten man finally stood up, covering his face as he said, “Auntie, please save me some face in public, so many people are watching.”

“It’s not the smell of chicken drumsticks.” Yan Mingting opened his mouth, and then opened it again.

Several subordinates were waiting for him to speak, and it took a long time before he opened his mouth to say, “Achoo!”

Several people: “……….”

“Very pungent.” After speaking, Yan Minging bit off the last hawthorn berry. “Let’s go, ba, where is that most delicious restaurant you mentioned?”

The lobby of the restaurant was full of guests, and the storyteller was telling stories about the supernatural. When the xingmu[4] was slapped, all kinds of strange stories floated out from his mouth, causing people to clap their hands in applause.

The cheers downstairs were intertwined with the festive sound of wine bowls colliding, but the second floor room was in sharp contrast to it, quiet, secluded, and peaceful. There was a guqin in the room, and Xiao Gao was about to order a qin girl to come in, but Zhao Yelan stopped him.

“Let’s listen to the story today.”

“Okay.” Xiao Gao opened the door, threw a silver ingot at the storyteller downstairs, and shouted, “Speak louder!”

The storyteller’s voice was indeed louder. He happily turned around, almost bumped into someone, and quickly apologized as he just went into the room.

The moment the door opened, a scent wafted out.

“Achoo!” Yan Mingting, who had a keen sense of smell, subconsciously looked sideways and only caught a quick glimpse of a man in purple clothes, well-dressed, leaning lazily on a chair with his eyes closed to rest his mind. He wanted to take another look, but the door was already closed.

“General, are you suffering from a cold?” The lieutenant asked in a low voice.

“No.” Yan Mingting rubbed his nose, and walked into the next room.

An hour later, the people downstairs gradually dispersed. The storyteller’s throat was about to start smoking, and someone booed after getting drunk: “Storyteller, you only talk about mountain spirits, but no one has ever seen them. Can you tell us about people we know?”

“What does the guest wish to hear?”

“I just want to hear about the marriage granted by the Emperor.” The man became emboldened by drink, and he dared to say any sort of nonsense while drunk. A dubious smile grew on his face: “What kind of thing is this, a man marrying a man? What kind of hole method is used in the bridal chamber?”

As soon as this remark was made, everyone roared with laughter, and no one noticed that the two private rooms on the second floor were opened at the same time.

The storyteller said: “Since ancient times, yin and yang have been in harmony, and everything is at peace. But there is no saying that there is anything wrong with yin and yin, or yang and yang. Since the great guoshi said it is possible, then it naturally doesn’t matter.”

“Then tell me, can General Yan put Zhao Yelan in order? Zhao Yunlan ordinarily does all sorts of evil. He was only granted a marriage this morning, and he went to the imperial prison in the afternoon to kill Yu Junliang, the Minister of the Ministry of Officials.”

Everyone else started whispering to each other, and someone picked up on it: “I have personally seen him kill people in the street. The blood splashed all over his body, and he was still smiling!”

Zhao Yelan curled his lips and opened his eyes. “The tea is gone.”

Xiao Gao hurriedly poured tea for him. Hearing the people outside begin to criticize Zhao Yelan’s crimes in turn, he was about to close the door angrily when he heard the topic change to another person.

“If you want me to say it, don’t be afraid. According to General Yan’s fate, Zhao Yelan might be suppressed before he passes through the door.”

Everyone laughed and bluntly said that General Yan was evil-natured enough, and killing Zhao Yelan as soon as possible could be regarded as benefitting the common people.

Xiao Gao heard someone walking next door and they seemed to be coming out, so he quickly closed the door and asked with a sad face: “My lord, is General Yan really an evil star?[5] Will something happen if you get married?”

A few people outside the door paused in their footsteps, and they couldn’t be blamed for eavesdropping. They had really good ears and immediately guessed who the person in this room was.

Yan Mingting naturally heard it too. He turned his head to look at the closed door, but couldn’t see the figure inside, only hearing a cold and emotionless voice: “Let’s see who kills who first, ba.”

The expressions of several subordinates were very delicate as they secretly looked at Yan Mingting. Yan Mingting raised his eyebrows, and was about to knock on the door when he heard the young man ask: “Haven’t you met him once, my lord? Is he really the same as in the rumors, with a hideous Rakshasa[6] face?”

Zhao Yelan fell into silence, recalling the scene when he met Yan Mingting many years ago. The surrounding spring flowers were brilliant, but the person in front of him……

“Indeed, unbearably ugly. I have never seen such an ugly person. It could be that he is the reincarnation of a pig spirit[7],” Zhao Yelan said flatly.

Pig, pig spirit? !

Several people outside the door opened their mouths wide at the same time, and then closed them tightly together for fear that they would laugh out loud, and looked at their general with trembling shoulders.

The majestic general slowly clenched his fists, waved viciously into the air twice, then turned around and strode away.

– Damnit, he had never suffered such a serious injury on the battlefield!

– – – – – – 

The author has something to say:

Get them married in five chapters!

[1] This memorial is official correspondence from the officials to the Emperor. ⮐

[2] The Emperor has the same surname as Zhao Yelan, and it even uses the same character. This shouldn’t be because they are related in any way, but there could be another reason for it. I haven’t read far enough ahead to find out though! ⮐

[3] I recommend reading up on the eight trigrams here if you want more details on this cosmology. ⮐

[4] The xingmu (醒木) is a small hardwood block used by storytellers to smack the table in order to attract the audience’s attention. ⮐

[5] Lone star, or evil star (天煞孤星)  refers to the lonely star of Tiansha, a star that brings disaster. ⮐

[6] Rakshasa (罗刹) is a Buddhist demonic poltergeist. ⮐

[7] The term used here is actually closer to ‘pig essence,’ which is an insult that basically means someone is fat like a pig and full of themselves, but “essence” here can also mean “semen,” so interpret this insult as you will. ⮐