CH 32

Similar occurrences happened a few times in the past.

Of course, even if such things happened before, it was never to this degree.

If Aileen was an idiot, she really could have died. But still, it’s impossible for Violet to have poisoned her.

On the one hand, Violet admittedly thought that she herself was half-crazy. But so was Aileen—that girl was also out of her mind.

Whenever a similar incident happened before, Violet surmised that there must be someone else other than herself who disliked Aileen.

“M-Milady… Are you alright?”

“…I’m okay.”

Violet hesitated to answer for a short while, but she eventually replied grudgingly. Her escort knight just followed silently behind her.

It’s not as if she wasn’t used to this already.

“…But you’re not, Milady.”

After they returned to the annex, Mary calmly took one of Violet’s hands in hers.

I’m used to it. I’m okay because I’m used to it.

Violet replied to herself, but she paused. Only then did she realize that she was trying to answer, but she couldn’t because her throat was all choked up.

I’m okay. I’m used to it. And maybe the same thing won’t happen again. I’m okay.

As Violet was about to give this answer, she moved her lips slightly.

“I’m… I’m not okay.”

“Milady…”

“I’m, not okay. I, I…”

Just because she’s used to it didn’t mean she was fine. Tears trickled down.

But because she’s not fine, it’s all the more reason to be fine. She did not want to show how much she was struggling at the bottom of the abyss she was in. As ever, she held onto the aloof demeanor she used as a mask.

The more something like this happened, the more her self-worth crumbled. But she continued to act the same way.

Mary glanced towards the door. Standing there, Zylo sighed and left the room. After a while, the tactless knight brought in a tray of tea that might help stabilize the lady’s mind and body.

Violet once asked Aileen.

“Why! Why in the world are you doing this to me! What did I do so wrong!”

“Sister.”

“I hate you. So what? What do you want from me?! I just, again, why must I be…!”

“Sister, you brought it all onto yourself.”

That day, something broke inside Violet.

It was just another day when Violet had pointed out Aileen’s etiquette at the family dinner, and in retaliation, her brothers criticized her for doing so.

It was the same as usual, but it was especially heavy for Violet that day.

Finally letting go of her pride, Violet shouted.

What in the world did I do so wrong?!

Of course, there were countless wrongdoings attributed to her. However, how could a person who’s been so eroded by self-deprecation recognize her faults?

Then,

“You really don’t know? You brought it all onto yourself. Everything.”

“Brother Mikhail, and even Brother Roen…”

“I’m already spelling it out for you, Sister. The things you did wrong. Why are you talking as if you never did anything wrong?”

“Sister, you brought it all onto yourself.”

Aileen said all these things, and she was not wrong.

But she wasn’t quite right either. 

How could she say that everything was Violet’s fault when there’s clearly someone who’s causing all this?

Yet, neither could Violet claim that Aileen was to blame.

It’s my fault. It’s all my fault. Because I’m bad. Because I’m not a good kid. Because I’m an evil person.

Her thoughts became like that.

Because Aileen said so.

“Poor Sister Violet…”

Aileen laughed.

So many people praised her to be the very embodiment of an angel, but to Violet, the girl was terrifying.

It’s laughable how the most loved person was saying such a thing.

While looking at Aileen’s eerie smile, Violet unknowingly took a step back.

And when Violet finally collapsed, Aileen smiled again.

“Sister, I want to be close to you.”

It was neither a bashful nor a contemptible smile. It was the girl’s natural smile.

“Sister, you know what? That place you think is yours has always been originally mine.”

The place she was talking about was that of a splendid ducal lady, a noble position Violet owned that was bound to be envied by everyone.

As Aileen proclaimed that it was originally hers, she gave Violet a natural smile.

Aileen tore Violet down as she pleased, and she was satisfied watching Violet break down into tears while running out the room.

It was on that same day that Violet plunged into the lake.

“…I want to hear your story, Milady.”

“I, I…”

Violet did not tell Mary her story. She said that she felt lonely, that she felt wronged, but she could not bring herself to tell the story behind these feelings.

And Mary did not force Violet to pry open her wounds.

Though she felt that her previous personality had blended together with Violet’s, she had been unconsciously trying to separate herself from Violet all this time. An indistinct smile graced her lips.

Zylo, who brought tea with him, watched the two young women awkwardly, unable to find the right timing to leave.

* * *

The relationship between Violet and Aileen was not bad from the onset.

Aileen’s father was the older brother of the current Duke Everett. He gave up his right to succession for the sake of love.

Having achieved his small happiness, he sometimes brought his family over to the ducal estate, and Aileen often played together with her cousins.

She was a younger cousin who was close to Violet’s age.

Violet had been quite fond of the lovely little girl because she only had brothers.

But when the duchess passed away, this painting-like harmony began to collapse.