CH 79

When I told my plan for the future, the King said it’s okay as long as I didn’t leave Marihect.

I think we still have to discuss the details but for the time being, it didn’t seem like I have to go to various places when ordered.

If that’s the case, I can secure my time with Rodo.

As the country’s healer, I might be involved in various troubles, but if it becomes something like a private hospital, the disputes will be with other healers.

Still, that’s only if I take the other healers’ customers.

All I have to do is see the patients that the local healers don’t see.

Moreover, if the civilians can see a doctor for an almost free price, there’ll be various problems, but if I ask for a reasonable price, I won’t have the antipathy of the other healers.

Soldiers and magicians who are more likely to get injured can afford it since their salaries seem high in the first place.

I’d like to see the civilians’ injuries cheaply, but if I do that, some people will complain about it…

It’s a wait-and-see situation.

But civilians don’t seem very wealthy, so I don’t want to charge too much.

…should I make an exemption system?

…well, there’s still a lot to discuss.

“King, goodbye.”

They don’t need me anymore so I waved to the King.

I also undid and apologized for the restraint magic that was applied to the King of Aricalen, but he didn’t look angry, so I think we’re good.

He’s the King so I was wondering if there were any penalties, but he didn’t say anything.

…or rather, I thought that the restraint magic I used was a fairly weak one…wasn’t it?

I’ve heard that strong restraint magic can be limited so that only the caster can solve it.

Strong restraint magic often hurts your opponent, so I’m not going to use it for now.

──they hurt and rob you of magical power, I heard.

(…wait a minute?)

Does that mean the person who had previously told me to be a healer in the barracks in Seidask couldn’t be released?

So I harassed him for three days…

If they couldn’t solve this restraint magic, what about last time?

In other words, was he crucified for three days?

I thought it’d be solved soon, but…it’s better to check.

He’s also near the King right now.

When I looked at him, he got a frightened expression.

…is he scared of me?

…because I restrained him?

“Three days, restrained, as it is?” (Did you stay restrained for three days?)

His facial expression shows affirmation but I still asked.

“Yes. …but that’s natural since I did something bad.”

“…”

As expected, I received an affirmation.

“Natural” he says…wasn’t this person the Captain of the First or Second Corps?

That person being crucified for three days should have a significant impact on his work, right…?

“Sorry. Soon, unravel, I was thinking.” (Sorry. I thought it’d be solved soon.)

It’s too late to apologize now, but I still bowed my head.

I applied the same restraint magic that I had done to Ren a while ago and Ren was drunk that time so he couldn’t solve it. I also thought it’s because there’s no magician nearby.

Ren also said he wasn’t very good with magic.

However, restraint magic using vines is fairly weak restraint magic, and Ruu said it can easily be solved by those who can use magic…is it a lie?

He also said that thicker vines would increase the strength, but I just used thin vines on those two.

Moreover, there were magicians nearby.

“Kou doesn’t have to worry about it, this guy is bad.”

…Rodo is as usual.

Always thinking about me.

──it makes me happy.

I was annoyed and restrained him since he kept saying the same thing over and over, even blocking the road.

Rodo had been trying to pull out his sword, and I just thought he wouldn’t attack a restrained guy.

Though I was sick of those words that treated me like an object, that’s all.

He didn’t touch me though he verbally abused me, so I just wanted to ignore him.

Like that soldier who was blocking the road, I thought it’s okay to also “ignore” the King of Aricalen.

…it’s overdefensive of me.

But what do the people who say “get a job that suits your abilities” want from me?

Because sometimes, it’s “as a magician” and sometimes, it’s “as a healer”.

Seems like no one has both of them and even if both can be done, one side has little effect.

But I was told that I was a magician and a healer.

I’m still studying as a healer, but my ability to “return it to what I imagined”, though not exactly a healing power, seems like no one else can do it.

As a magician, I was told my power is special because of the way it was activated.

In particular, the movement magic that only the Representative of the Tower of Sarez could do, by doing it to Rodo, I got special treatment.

Maybe that’s why I’ve come to be called the number one magician in Marihect.

…is that why?

I can cast all the magic I’ve been taught, but it hasn’t been long since I started learning as a magician.

Now that I’m studying as a healer, I haven’t even been to the tower.

It’s complicated to say that I, who’s still a newcomer, am “the best magician and healer in the country”.

It’s hard for me to speak but I don’t think it’s hard to release magic, so maybe it’s superfluous?

It’s a good thing to have strong power, but I also think that I don’t need it.

When something happens to Rodo, my power is useful.

However, it also caused me unnecessary disputes.

So far, the disadvantages are greater.

(It’s been a little over half a year since I came to this world…)

It passed pretty quickly.

And I noticed that there were some Japanese characters that I couldn’t write.

I immediately remembered it but realized that I was gradually forgetting.

If you don’t use it, you’ll soon forget it.

This will make my life difficult when I return to Japan.

I can still speak it now, but it will get harder and harder later.

In this world, I’m the only person who speaks Japanese.

Should I live thinking that I will never return?

Even if I worry about it, I’ll just get stressed.

…In any case, my anxiety will not completely disappear.

It might be because of this anxiety that I didn’t want to think much about the future.

I have too many uncertainties.

And I know I’m “foreign” to this world.

I don’t know the words to convey that yet, but the knowledge I know might not be known in this world.

It’s unavoidable because it’s a different civilization, but I often think with “my” common sense.

…is that why I feel lonely?

There are people around me, and above all, Rodo is next to me.

But even Rodo can’t understand what I say.

No one in this world can understand what has formed me until now.

…so, do you ever feel “lonely” even though you should be satisfied?

I don’t want him to understand everything since I also don’t understand all of Rodo.

…is it sad that I can’t share my thoughts?

──I originally drew a line against people, and I gave up early since I thought I would never be satisfied.

…is it that I’m starting to want to be satisfied?

Did I want to expose all of me once since I got used to being spoiled?

It’d be a nuisance for Rodo to be told something he couldn’t understand.

“Kou!? What’s wrong?”

Hearing Rodo’s anxious voice, seems like he also notice what I was thinking.

“Kou doesn’t have to worry about it. This guy is bad.”

(Eh?)

I wonder what happened…and finally realized that I’m crying.

Seems like he thought I was upset and cried.

“Wrong.”

I don’t have tears to shed for others.

Since they’re not angry, then that’s the end.

I feel guilty since I did something wrong, but that’s it.

I apologized and the other party wasn’t angry so I didn’t have to think more about it.

(I’ve been crying too much since I came to this world.)

When was the last time I cried in Japan?

…in my childhood?

I wasn’t particularly sad when I realized I had romantic feelings only for men and when I had a broken heart.

Is it because I have nothing to be anxious about, enough to make me want to cry?

Was it because I was preparing to be cut off at any time, so I gave up everything without hope?

…in other words, that’s how much I want to stay in this world.

That’s why I feel uneasy.

“Go home?”

However, this is something that can’t be solved.

Even if I’m struck by this anxiety, I have to avoid crying.

Because Rodo will be worried.

No one can help since they can’t do anything about it.

“Goodbye.”

I waved to the King and went home like that, using magic.

I didn’t go to the barracks because it’d be dangerous if we suddenly appeared in a crowded place.

Because movement magic is developed to avoid people, I don’t have to worry so much.

I don’t want to appear behind someone and be attacked.

It’d be a problem if I couldn’t adjust the magic because of such a sudden thing.

…everyone in the meeting didn’t move from their seats this time, so I used magic since I thought it’d be okay.

“…Kou, consult, why not?”

“Consult?”

To Rodo?

…about what?

Rodo had a hurt face, probably because I was confused.

(Maybe the one before?)

In that case, he couldn’t help even if I consulted him.

“Kou, Japan, I don’t want to go back, I just thought. Consult, no need.” (I just thought I don’t want to go back to Japan. There’s no need for consultation.)

I don’t have to talk about something that can’t be helped.

There are times when I think about it, but it doesn’t make sense to think about it since I can’t even do anything.

There’s also no need for Rodo to get anxious.

“Anxious, that time, gyuu, did. Kou, now, happy.” (I’m anxious that time so I cried. Now I’m happy.)

It’s something I can’t do anything about, so I have come to terms with that anxiety.

I’m not alone right now, so I’m just more worried.

──fearing that I’ll leave.

“Kou.”

Trapped in Rodo’s arms, I’m truly relieved, even though I just said I am.

“…Kou, alone with Rodo, happy.”

Somehow…when I’m hugged like this, I feel that Rodo is enough.