Chapter 180: Between the queen and the goddess (III)

The queen smiles sadly as she nods, "Yeah. He was a fallen god."

Chills walk on her skin like a colony of ants climbing from her feet all the way to her scalp. She dreads the memory with guilt and sorrow.

She could sacrifice anything to return in time, but reality has set it in stone.

"He didn't hide who he was. I meant Eginhart. He told me straight away that he was a fallen god, and he wanted to help me.

Of course, I was in doubt. Even mortals know that they should not involve themselves with the fallen ones. However, I was swallowed by my lunacy created from fear. When he told and proved to me that my husband passed away from the hands of a heavenly soldier, my entire being flooded with rage and hatred. 

I even became blind to the fact that I was dealing with a fallen god. I just wanted the world to end. I was only concentrating on my own imagination of my husband dying in cold blood. I imagined my husband getting slain even though he pleaded and gave as many reasons for the heavenly soldiers to spare him. After all, he had his wife, his coming child, his friends, and his home to come back to. 

Yet, he died like that. 

Eginhart took that opportunity to strike a deal with me. He wanted me to exchange Phanes for power to annihilate the heavenly soldiers.

My mind was able to snap back from my delusions as soon as I heard that Phanes was the exchange.

However, after I refused him, he told me, 'Look at you, you don't even have the slightest of power to counter a single attack from those who killed your husband in cold blood. Plus, your husband would have never died if you didn't accept Phanes into your kingdom. The soldiers must have killed him to give you a warning. Who knows what they would go for next? Your kingdom? Your baby? Your life?'

I was in despair, and his words fueled my rage and deepened my hatred. I lost myself in the flames of revenge, and I dared to give up my friend for power.

He said he only would give me power once Phanes was in his hands, and the witch that served him gave me a potion. The potion was strong enough to knock out a deity, and a drop was all I needed. 

I looked at the bottle and sensed the immense darkness oozing out of the closed lid. My heart was pounding against my chest, but as soon as I took the bottle, silence and strange calmness entered my body. 

Revenge was all I thought. 

I told myself that it was inevitable. If Phanes weren't in my protection, she would have been taken away anyway by the heavenly soldiers or the fallen god. So, why did I have to suffer like this? 

'It was unfair,' I thought at that time.

I went back that same day to my kingdom, and Phanes was out of her mind, worried for me. Yet, a single strand of guilt didn't surface in my heart. I looked at her with eyes of anger, but she never took that into mind. She thought that due to my fatigue and fear that I had changed temporarily."

The fairy queen exhales deeply with heartache, "Phanes was too kind for someone like me. She would never have guessed that I would spike her cup of tea and send her away to the hands of a fallen god the very next day.

When I gave her away, I felt my body envelope in so much power that I saw my own shadow emerge from the depths of my being. And then, I acted on my lunacy. Although I could see with my eyes and have all my senses intact, I was nothing more than a blind fool.

I remembered the rain stabbing me with its painful needles and the sound of soldiers running on the inundated ground. On my side, my people and Eginhart's followers ran to clash against the opponent. My mind was empty as I slew one after the other, letting my entire path bloom with scarlet flowers in the rainwater. 

All those sounds that I heard, in the beginning, merge into just noise. The only things I heard clearly were my heart and my breath. All I felt was immense hatred and madness.

Then, all of a sudden, someone held my face with both hands while shouting my name.

'Annora!'

I looked at Phanes sobbing uncontrollably as she held my face with firmness. 

'Annora, what are you doing? Why are you going against those soldiers? Where did you gain this power?'

Her voice woke me up. I jolted when I saw her, and only then, guilt flooded inside me when I saw her desperate expression.

I asked myself, 'What was I doing?'

The swords on my hands fell to the ground as I became more and more confused about my decisions. What was I doing? Why did I think that this was a good idea? My chest tightened so painfully that when I stopped holding the pain, my throat burned like I drank acid. Then, the taste of metals wrapped my tongue, and blood was dripping out of the corners of my mouth. 

I started to register back the pain that somehow was numb before. My belly hurt like I ripped all my tendons at once. Phanes took me away from the battlefield back to the kingdom as I screamed in pain. 

When I woke up, I was in my bedroom. My bulging belly was gone, and Phanes was out cold next to me. My attendants came into the room and informed me that the baby came out safe. However… The baby's eyes got affected by the chaos energy I received from the fallen god. My baby girl was blind.

For a month, Phanes stayed unconscious. I knew the reason because she placed enormous amounts of essence inside to contain the chaos energy.

She saved my baby girl and me. 

However, when she was unconscious, the outside world turned upside down. That battle had sparked something greater both in this world and the god realm. Our world suddenly linked to another world, and our world started to take the other's life force. 

I knew all that from a strange woman who was able to find the entrance to my kingdom.

At first, I was on full guard and even hostile to her, but I knew I would never win if I went against her. She had piercing silver eyes and hair as dark as the moonless night. Her skin was pale to the point of transparency. 

I recognized by being next to her that she was a deity. I had a feeling that the strange woman knew that Phanes gave me her essence because she frowned as soon as she saw me.

Even though she had never been in my kingdom, she knew where everything was. She found the room where Phanes was resting. 

She checked on Phanes's condition and spent some of her energy to help Phanes recuperate faster. 

She called herself Karta, and she was Phanes's elder sister.

Her disposition was so different from Phanes's. Phanes was a very warm and light-hearted person, but Karta was incredibly aloof and solemn. As a mortal, I welcomed her by formally bowing to her, and she accepted all the formalities. 

She told me that due to my decision to collude with the fallen god, I would be experiencing unimaginable pain for carrying chaos energy. Nonetheless, due to Phanes's mercy, I would get to experience such pain on a lesser scale. I would also not be affected as much by the madness caused by possessing chaos energy. 

However, colluding with the fallen god was not something I could go scotch-free. Karta told me about you."

Queen Annora looks at Kyrie.

"For my punishment, she told me to wait for you and tell you about this story. That was why I remained alive for so long. I was meant to wait for you and pass Phanes's power to you.

The goddess Karta had predicted that you would look for me and also that you would ask about Phanes."

Imogen's knuckles crack as she shakes. She takes a deep breath to calm herself, but she is falling to keep her cool. 

Kyrie can slightly understand her anger. With Queen Annora's words, all her suffering seems pointless. How is she going to let go so easily? 

She has been trying thousands of times to solve the issue of this world, but none of them has been successful. Yet, some random guy enters the picture, and suddenly, things are making sense just because that random guy is meant to get the answers.

"Imogen…" Kyrie places his hand on her shoulder, but she shakes it away.

"Why was I even brought here?" She whispers to herself.

Kyrie and the queen hear it and sympathize with her. 

After leaving the god realm, Imogen has found her place on Earth. She has been striving to live a quiet life before getting transmigrated to a world with a duty she never wished for. She has stained her hands, exhausted her spirit, and broke her heart. 

And… What is all that for? 

Why is she forced to chase something that was not even meant for her?

"Imogen…." Kyrie murmurs her name but is rather helpless regarding how to help her.

Imogen raises her hand to stop Kyrie and looks at the queen, "Continue with the story."

"The goddess told me the reason why Phanes was running away. The issue came from the god realm and her two sisters: Phanes and… Vita. 

There was a great misunderstanding between Phanes and Vita, and that misunderstanding grew into something more complicated. I was not told what misunderstanding, but it seemed heavy enough to turn upside down and split the entire god realm. 

The late king of gods suddenly passed away, and his closest man renounced, turning into a fallen god and against the god realm. The decision of who was going to take over the seat has never been announced, and the entire god realm was nearly equally split on who was to take over. 

I would never believe that Phanes would run away from responsibilities, and even if she did, Vita would be chosen. However, Phanes's persecution would never make sense. She didn't covet the power, so I asked the goddess why…."