Chapter 30: Recollections of the past: Was it an illusion?

When I opened my eyes, I felt the waves of pain throughout my body. I was lifted off the ground and put back on the chair. My body dangled like a broken doll.

"You are awake?"

I lifted my head to look at Sil, dressed like how he would typically go to the company, sitting on a chair in front of me with his leg crossed.

I felt intense anger and resentment when I saw that face.

He avoided my eyes and said, "Tell me where the documents are."

However, those cold words extinguished that anger. My heart was in contradiction, but inside, I felt an overwhelming sadness.

"Have you planned this all along?" I asked.

"What?"

"I said, have you planned this all along?" I yelled, and tears started to flow out.

He scuffed and said, "How do you think I was able to pry your mouth open?"

Those words were enough for me to start sobbing out of control. I have fallen for an illusion, and now that it has broken, I never felt my heart so wounded and chilled by the same person who gave me the reason to love and to feel cared for.

"Why? Wasn't it obvious that I did not know since I lost my memories? What is this? Didn't you know? I was only a child then. How clearly do you think I could remember?"

"But you did. Now, spill it out!" Sil said, annoyed.

"Was this all a lie? Did you really just acted all this time?"

"I am not here to talk about this bullsh*t! Don't you know already? Look at your situation."

I wept and felt like my heart will come out through my tears. My heart was broken. It hurts more than the torture I went through before this. I felt like my soul is getting ripped to shreds.

"Please... Don't do this to me... Sil! Please... Please tell me that you have loved me. That this is not just some silly emotions only from my part."

Sil stood up in annoyance and knocked on the door. Someone opened for him, and he left.

"Sil!!! Sil!!! Come back! I am not done! Why? Why? Damn it!"

For the next couple of days, no one came. At first, I would cry out to meet Sil, but no one answered. The first days after having that conversation with Sil, I felt like I was going crazy. My heart will hurt so intensely that I would shake and gasp for air. Soon, I fell into silence. I did not know how long time passed, but I was completely numb. I stared into the ground endlessly and would not mind doing it. However, inside loneliness began eating me. All those days, I was afraid of closing my eyes, because the beautiful and bright past started to look haunting.

When the door opened, I looked at the figure that came in like some kind of saviour. The light shined behind him from multiple flashlights that people held. I gazed at the man closely, and it was Savoy. He looked at me with tears flowing out of his eyes. For some reason, that comforted me enough for me to let go and fall into unconsciousness.

When I woke up, I was in the hospital room. I looked around weakly and saw the monitor on my left. A nurse came in half an hour later and informed the doctors. According to them, I was out for a week. Savoy came running into the hospital room with tears. He told me to rest well and that I don't have to think a lot about anything. But how could I do that? How could I stop thinking? Did it end just like that? What was that forever we used to talk about? Oh! Right... An illusion.

Logan Savoy, the man that kept telling my father and me never to reveal the secrets from the company, was the one at the end to do it. The company was involved in not only money laundering and bribery but also engaged in assassinations, human trafficking, and tampering with national and foreign politics, which some were considered treason. Those were the main highlights of crimes that those higher-ups did. The list was too long for any media outlet to go through all of them.

For three months, I slept because I couldn't handle it. I ate, and I slept like living was a chore. Sometimes, I would wake up in the middle of the night and find darkness extremely frightening. The endlessness in the dark felt as empty as what is inside. However, I would freeze instead of scream out of fear. I wonder... Am I now that broken?

Savoy stayed by my side as much as he could. I can see that his eyebags are getting darker by the day. Going against such a big company seems to have worn him down physically, but he did not give up. So, looking at him every day for these months gave me a spark of hope inside. A lonely man like Savoy was fighting against the world, just like Ian did.

One day, I decided to walk around the hospital. I did not know what got to me, but I just did. On my walk, I heard about one of the patients talking about the novel and how Moon Fairy would not hold any fan meetings. I laughed for the first time after the incident. Seeing that I also knew about the novel, the patient started to talk about the novel with me. Of course, his favourite character is our crazy protagonist, Imogen. I told him that mine was Ian, and he was surprised since I was the first one ever to admit to like him. He said sometimes he felt sorry for that character but that he was so jealous when Ian manages to crush the enemy alongside with Imogen.

"Have you read the latest chapters? They were going to the labyrinth," the patient exclaimed energetically.

"Wait, you mean the one that they discover that its opening was the well at the center of the City of Mirrors?"

"Yeah yeah! That one! It was awesome."

"So, does that mean that they finished the previous battle?" I asked excitingly.

"Yeah! Ages ago! You need to keep yourself updated, man!"

"Yeah..."

Then, I discovered that I have no longer anything with me. Everything was either confiscated by my kidnappers or inside Sil's apartment, so I asked Savoy for a phone. Savoy was thrilled when I asked him for a phone. He even made a fuss with the nurse debating which brand and generation were better. If he had a kid, he would have been an amazing dad. Savoy, for some reason, liked to treat me like a kid and would unlock his vault to any demands. Of course, I only asked for the phone. Ever since I awoke, I really wanted to read about Ian.

The battle before the labyrinth in the city of Mirrors was one of the toughest times for Ian. However, reading that he was able to pass the hardships gave me courage. It was also the time where the author finally revealed Ian's childhood, which made me understand more about his character. After reading until the last chapter that got released, I let out a satisfied sigh. Looking at how Ian lived his life, I finally understand that the past does not define a person. The present does. The present creates you. The future is you. Although my pain and memories are not going to be wiped away to a blank slate, I know that I can create another beginning for myself.

Thus, I decided to leave the city and start anew.

I thought all ended, but Sil looked for me and found me. Then, he died.