Chapter 70

Chapter 70

Irene suddenly remembered the conversation she had with Louise last night.

“Miss Irene, I like this mansion.”

Hearing her words, Irene, who was sitting in front of the only desk in the room while combing her hair, glanced back at her.

Louise was lying on Irene’s bed, waving her feet in the air.

Since she had shared the same bed with her in the infirmary before, she would often occupy her bed like that. Meanwhile, Irene looked at her silently without her saying anything before turning her gaze back to the mirror and answered.

“I’ll let you have the chocolate muffins that are served for dinner again.”

“Oh no, that’s not it. Of course, the chocolate muffins were delicious. The chocolate chunks were very thick.”

“The chef is good at making desserts with chocolate. I like it as well.”

“I still like this mansion even if you eat my share of chocolate muffins. What about you, Miss Irene?”

“I don’t know why you’re asking that all of a sudden, but is there anything you like or dislike about the job?”

“Miss Irene must have lived in this mansion much longer than I did, so it’s like your home. I haven’t seen summer or autumn in this mansion yet, but you must’ve seen it.”

As she approached the bed, Louise rolled halfway to the side and made way for her. She also meticulously wrapped a blanket over Irene lying on the bed.

Since it was originally made for one person, the bed was a bit cramped for two people to lie on. However, if one person crumpled up against the wall attached to the bed, it was manageable. Louise preferred to stick with Irene, even at the risk of being crumpled.

…Perhaps, it was a reflection of her inner feelings and she was a bit lonely without realizing it.

Irene thought so as she gently stroked Louise’s hair, which was sticking to her side.

“Oddly enough, I fell in love with this mansion from the moment I walked in. Maybe it’s because Irenea is here?”

“What are you saying?”

‘I am just an extra…’

Irene smiled bitterly and changed the topic.

“Isn’t there a reason other than me? Like… someone you liked.”

Louise was silent for a moment at her words. She seemed to be agonizing.

“I don’t know… Is this how love feels?”

“How do you feel?”

“When I think of that person, my heart races. I am grateful, and I also want to get closer to them.”

It was a phrase she had heard through the sixth lives.

Irene answered with a chuckle.

“Then, you must be in love.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Isn’t that what you usually say when you’re in love?”

“But, I feel that way more when I think of Miss Irene than that person!”

Irene’s eyes, which had been loosely closed from exhaustion, opened again at her words. When she peered down, there was a shining wall of Louise as she continued.

“When I think of Miss Irene, my heart races. I’m grateful and I want to get closer to you.”

“Ha… But, isn’t it a very different feeling from the one Miss Louise is thinking about?”

“I don’t know. Do I have to make such a distinction…? I really like Miss Irene, too.”

Louise’s innocent eyes twinkled as if she were really puzzled.

“Can you tell the difference between those feelings, Miss Irene?”

It must have been a question she posed without much thought, but it unexpectedly stabbed Irene’s blind spot.

…Could she distinguish love from other affections?

First of all, the answer to the question was yes.

It was a somewhat sparse story now, though she had been in love in the game. Nevertheless, the problem was that it was just her unrequited love that ended so badly that she did not even want to think about it anymore.

‘I can tell the difference between love and emotions that are not love.’

However, a distinction was meant to divide the classification in the first place, and dividing the distinction was the same as saying that prioritization will be given soon.

Usually, love comes at the top of its priorities.

“Then, Miss Irene, can you share which is more important and which is not?”

She could not bear to answer this question. It was because she could not let anyone go.

‘I should have just left the mansion then…’

The day the game started and Louise came to her mansion, she should have left the game. Irene was so caught up in her heart that she stayed in the mansion in the hopes that the main characters could be a little bit happier.

She was afraid of the current situation.

Regardless of her will, variables constantly occur, and even this situation in which she was contributing to it.

‘Perhaps, I am ruining everything.’

It might have been different if she had not known the cause of the problem, but Irene knew the cause of all these variables.

…It was herself.

‘I wish I had not submitted my resignation.’

In that case, the game would have flowed according to the original story. Then, it would have flowed into a story where no one would have any problems — even though some would die, some would be happy.

Irene could never have been included in that ’some.’ No one would care about that because she was just an extra.

‘…Was I being too greedy?’

She was just a part of the game, did she expect too much…?

She just wanted to get out of this game and live a little bit of her life without dwelling on anyone else.

She wanted to avert her eyes from the endlessly recurring tragedy.

…And, she wanted to regain a little bit of her value as an individual that was worn out.

In this mansion, the fact that she was an extra was so painful. While the main characters, who fall in love in every episode, the extras who had to watch it without doing anything as the game system completely excluded them…

As they rushed towards the predestined tragedy, they could not do anything about it.

They could do nothing… nothing to stop, nothing to prevent, or nothing to sympathize with their sorrows.

At first, Irene was trying to find her own pleasure in her mansion, but she gradually became dull in this environment. The confidence and arrogance that came from knowing the situation and the future in the game only produced a sense of debt as time passed.

After all, coordinating the situation meant taking responsibility for it. Knowing more than others was never an advantage, it was rather a shackle.

Even now, even after repeating several lives, the shackles did not let Irene go.

When was the first time she realized that?

‘Maybe, since then…’

Tears fell from her eyes. After losing focus, her memories of one day were overwritten instead.

“Why are you there!”

“You just had to step back like usual, why didn’t you do it?”

It was a very rainy day.

The day when the cold rain flowing down her temple felt like her own tears… What she remembered was the sound of the rain ringing in her ears and Ahibalt, with eyes that were coldly forged, unlike usual. And, there was only her mind that was fading away in the burning pain.

At that time, Irene was injured. Nevertheless, the memories of that day were particularly vivid and sharp.

The reason was easy to guess.

“Don’t delude yourself that there’s something you can do, and don’t step up.”

The owner of those words, who finally broke down the helplessness she had borne.

…He was Irene’s long-time crush.

‘Maybe, I am ruining everything…’

As the tears running down her cheeks grew thicker, her breathing also grew proportionally rougher. Irene could see Ahibalt saying something in front of her, but she could not hear him. Her chest tightened and her head began to feel dizzy, while her heart was also beating too fast.

…Hyperventilation.

Feeling the symptoms that she had forgotten for a while again, Irene reflexively covered her mouth. However, her heart was still pounding rapidly. She still had difficulty breathing, and her breathing was still steep.

In the midst of panting like a fish thrown to the shore, a larger hand was placed over her hand that was closing her mouth.

Irene’s eyes widened at that.

It was only then that she saw Ahibalt, who was shaking while calling her. The fact that his face was rarely completely distorted, she thought that he must have been upset.

The moment she was trying to inadvertently think of the reason…

Ahibalt kissed her.

__

Again, thank you so much for always supporting the novels I translate, even if you don’t buy me a coffee, I really do appreciate it a lot.