Chapter 117

Chapter 117

Poliana returned to her bedroom quickly after her awkward conversation with Lady Bika. She would have preferred to go to the garden to relieve her frustration, but there was a chance that someone might see her, so her room was her only option.

She obviously couldn’t destroy the furniture, so she chose the wall. It was covered with soft-colored wallpaper, but underneath it was stone. Knowing she would hurt herself, Poliana still attacked the stone wall. She punched and kicked it as hard as she could.

As expected, it hurt. She wished that she could assault a tree like she usually did, not a wall.

‘A man in his 50’s! She said he was in his late 50’s!’

For a while now, Poliana had been considering marriage as a possible option for her, but the reality was crueler than what she had expected. She was thinking about marrying a man around her age, but in actuality, the only men willing to marry her were going to be either old widowers or very disfigured.

A powerful and wealthy man could marry any young beauty of his choice, but it was different for women. It wasn’t that Poliana insisted on marrying a younger man. She didn’t care if the man was poor or came from a common family. She didn’t care if he lost all of his limbs from the war. As long as the man was kind, she was ok with all that.

But a man in his late 50’s?! A man who already had grandchildren!

‘So he already has a grandson! And the man isn’t even interested in getting remarried! Then why would Lady Bika insist on me meeting him?! Why not just leave the man alone?!’

Poliana was furious. As Sir Rabi’s wife, she had to respect Lady Bika and behave accordingly, but she couldn’t help feeling angry. Poliana knew she wasn’t a looker, but she was still the head of the royal guards! She was the emperor’s favored knight!

“Dammit… I will never get married!”

Bam! Bam! Bam!

Poliana punched the wall angrily. She no longer wanted to be married, if the best she could have was a widower in his late 50’s. Lady Bika didn’t know about Poliana’s infertility, and the best man she could find for her was a widower in his late 50’s. If the fact was known to everyone… Poliana didn’t even want to think about what kind of man would be offered to her, if at all.

Poliana looked down at her hand, which was bleeding because of what she did. She saw that there was a little bit of blood on the wall too, so she tried to rub it off but by doing so, she saw that it left an even bigger and noticeable smear on the wall.

‘Dammit.’

She meant to clean it, but it made it worse. She quickly grabbed a wet cloth to wipe it, which helped. Poliana learned a valuable lesson today.

‘Next time I want to punch a wall, I better wear gloves.’

Just then, a maid knocked and entered the room. She relayed a message that Sir Rabi wanted to meet with her.

***

When Sir Rabi saw Poliana, the first thing he did was apologize.

“I meant to provide you a place to rest, but I ended up making you feel awkward.”

“Not at all. I have been treated like royalty here.”

The Bika family’s home was a wonderful place to spend one’s vacation. The twins were kind and the house was spacious. Even the dogs were nice. Both the hunting dogs and indoor dogs loved people, they loved to be scratched.

The heir, Bardo, was adorable too.

And of course, the lady of the house was thoughtful and generous.

“Hmm…”

Sir Rabi hesitated. It seemed that he wanted to say more, but he seemed uncertain. Poliana had never seen him like this before, so she became nervous.

‘What is he going to say to me?’

“Sir Pol… To be honest, I agree with my wife.”

“Sir Rabi, I never thought you would think that way.”

Poliana felt betrayed. To control her emotions, she clenched her fists hard. Sir Rabi was the most respected military man she knew, so for him to tell her he agreed with his wife… She felt upset. Did she do something to make him doubt her ability as a soldier?

Poliana thought carefully, and she couldn’t think of a single day she didn’t work her hardest. Poliana asked, “Have I been lacking as the head of the guard division?”

“That is not what I am saying. What I want to tell you is that you have done more than enough.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You can ask any parents in this world if they would want their daughter to live as a knight. What do you think their answer would be?”

Poliana’s parents wanted her to become a knight, but not because they cared for her. It wasn’t their wish for her to become a famous and brave knightess. What they wanted was for her to die in battle.

Normal parents would never give a sword to their daughter. Even if the daughter wanted it, her parents would forbid it because they knew it would be followed by hardships.

Sir Rabi continued, “There is an obvious path available for the women in this world, it is the path that guarantees happiness, comfort, and peace. So why would any parent want a harder and uncertain path for their daughters? Sir Pol, I am not saying that your life is an unhappy one right now. Everyone I know accepts you as a true knight. But you know the truth, Sir Pol. If you had a daughter, would you ever ask her to become a knight?”

Poliana shook her head. Just because she was a knight didn’t mean she would ever want her own daughter to become one too. But if her imaginary daughter asked to become a knight, Poliana would ask if she was sure about it.

Poliana became a knight because she had no other choice. Would there be any parents who would truly want their daughters to live the life of a soldier?

She didn’t think so.

Indeed, Poliana was accepted by her men because they were together for the past 10 years, but her case was an exception. The men had no choice but to work with her.

Poliana was an unlucky exception. She was a victim of her cruel and uncaring parents, who forced her to go down this path.

Poliana Winter was an excellent knight, but if she came from a normal caring family, she would’ve never become a knight.

Poliana knew this very well. She also knew that others around her talked about this, but she didn’t care. She was just happy that everyone around her accepted her as she was.

What woman in this world would voluntarily want to become a knight?

Perhaps there were some silly girls out there who read a few romance novels about an imaginary knightess. They might claim that they wanted to become knights too, but Poliana was certain that as soon as their training began, all of them would give up quickly.

But then…

She suddenly thought of two girls, the lovely twins who couldn’t even dare to dream of becoming knights themselves.

Vanessa and Vaxi.