Chapter 75 - Heady Affections For An Imposter (2)

After he had experienced the taste of her sweet skin, the sensation of her body heat, and her alluring scent for the first time, his senses were awakened and craved for more.

Vianut exhaled a warm breath and bit his lower lip. The cloth of his drawers had grown uncomfortably tight again. He swept a hand through his hair as he furrowed his brow.

The duke sighed bitterly. Despite his best efforts, he realized that he, like other men, could not free himself from the temptations of lust. For years, Vianut had labored to prevail against the taboo set by God, but instead of overcoming his instincts, he had to endure as the need to mate like a beast clawed at his resolve. Countless times, his dirty body defied his mind’s better judgment, all because his heart was tirelessly seeking to fill the void left by his dead fiancée.

He struggled to crush his urges, yet each time he was only rewarded with a sense of failure. The woman who had made him experience the bitter taste of defeat for the first time would be smiling at another man tomorrow.

Duke Vianut hoped that the smile she gave Dirk was insincere. The reason why he had given her a chance to live thus far was because he had felt that she was more pitiful than he.

Vianut didn’t dare to take her heart away, but he did yearn to seek the comforts of her body. He didn’t realize when his desire for her took root or even why it grew with each passing day. If that desire someday went beyond his dedication to serving God, how would he be judged?

Soaked with cold sweat, he desperately conjured up images of his late fiancée.

“Help me keep missing you,” he whispered. “If that’s not possible, then take me with you…”

Still, like every other time he pleaded to her memory, she did not answer.

♛

For the past few days, Gris had been very busy accompanying Dirk and posing in front of Adele’s easel, but her heart was still in a daze.

Several nights had already passed since their last, clandestine meeting, yet her mind continued to paint sensuous images of the cold-hearted duke’s formidable form. She could hardly believe a man like him existed. His body was incredibly large compared to hers. He made her feel like prey being cornered by a beast, but the sensation was strangely thrilling. Even if she tried to keep her distance, it seemed her body still longed for more—like him.

Gris continued to dawdle, her mind lost in thought until evening. Dirk kept asking her if she was alright until he eventually concluded that he had somehow made a mistake and apologized.

She came back to her senses then and repeatedly assured Dirk that her lack of attention wasn’t his fault, but her heart was still heavy. Gris felt as if she was deceiving an innocent man, giving him false hope. His goodness was a rarity among the aristocracy.

Gris wanted to do something for Dirk to protect him from getting hurt. She wondered if she could find a way for them to evade Stephan’s eyes that were no doubt still closely watching over them from somewhere. Though the marquis himself was away, his servants were spying on their every move in his stead.

If he were to find out that she planned to do something with Dirk without his permission, Stephan would seethe with anger. Perhaps it would be safer if she let Stephan control everything for now and then save her plans for later when she is able to leave this house with Dirk.

In the meantime, Gris decided she needed to rid herself of all thoughts pertaining to

Duke Vianut. In the future, she couldn’t be linked to him anymore. She heaved a long sigh. There had to be some way to remedy this complicated situation.

Part of her wanted to meet the Grand Duke and share her thoughts. She wanted to tell him that she would only be focusing on Dirk now, and she didn’t want to make the situation any more difficult than it already was.

Knowing that Stephan conspired to steal the Grand Duke’s position and power, Gris reasoned that speaking with Duke Vianut would be her way of repaying his favor for allowing her to continue living under this stolen identity. Or perhaps she just wanted to see him again.

Either way, Gris called for Bellin.

“Tell Mr. Bram that I want to see the Grand Duke,” she told the maid.

Bellin bowed and went to fetch the butler. A few minutes after she left, Mr. Bram entered her chambers. For some reason, he seemed to be troubled.

“Lady Yuliana,” his voice was a bit hesitant, “the maid said you wished to see His Highness.”

“That’s right.”

“Actually, I must inform you that the Grand Duke is not feeling well today. His Highness has been very quiet and, I am not certain why, but he was unable to sleep at all last night. I cannot even recall a time he was this troubled, even while on the battlefield…”

Upon hearing the butler’s words, Gris imagined Vianut restlessly spending the night beneath his moonlight window. She wondered what she would find if she was able to take a peek into his mind. Was he worried about a problem within the territory, his upcoming marriage with the Princess of Britin, or the incident that had happened between them that night?

Suddenly, her heart throbbed as if it was being gripped. Her earlobe, which had healed well, grew hot. She lightly touched the area and roughly breathed.

“Haah…”

She didn’t know why, but her heart started beating so fast it even caused her chest to feel sore. Was it because she was afraid of and uncomfortable around him? Or maybe she had some latent, unfulfilled affection for him because she nearly became betrothed to him in the past?

Gris dejectedly scorned herself. From the moment she was branded as a prostitute on that ship, she forfeited all thoughts of ever receiving love. She would have to find someone who would be willing to accept a girl with origins from a brothel.

“I understand,” she said to the butler. “Please, will you ask him anyway?”

Mr. Bram acknowledged her instructions and left the room.

Gris turned her eyes to the view outside her window while trying to maintain a calm facade. The moon was bright today, so she wasn’t sad. In this lonely place, she sought comfort in the little things. The moonlight and the flowers became her only companions.

After a while, the butler returned and told her what she already expected to hear.

“His Highness has refused your request to meet him.”

Gris lowered her head and nodded several times in understanding. Though she wanted to meet him, it could only happen if the Grand Duke willed it, so she had no choice but to accept his words.

“… Okay.”

Mr. Bram looked sympathetically at the depressed young lady. The butler regretted that he could not do more to satisfy her only request, especially since Lady Yuliana had never asked anything from him before. He paused a bit before offering an explanation.

“… I think it’s because of something embarrassing that happened a while ago.”

Mr. Bram had only meant to let her know that it was not her fault that the Grand Duke refused to meet her, but Gris turned back towards him in confusion.

“Embarrassing?”