Chapter 181

I was so sad and empty. Rather than being sad about the fact that I lost his baby, I was desperate because I realized that I could never win his love.

I strained my eyes at this shocking diagnosis by the High Priest. My fists holding the blanket trembled violently.

What did the High Priest say a moment ago? If I took this poison for a long time, what would happen to me?

Dizziness, nausea, poor breathing, and soaring irritation. When I felt these symptoms, I thought I suffered from these symptoms because I overworked myself.

Although the High Priest continued to paraphrase, I was not listening to him anymore.

I retraced all my memories related to these symptoms like crazy.

Come to think of it, I often passed out or felt dizzy because I was weak, but always managed to control my feelings. It’s only a few months after I became the empress that I suffered from these symptoms of poisoning, or I often became angry and annoyed!

“Oh my…”

I thought the reason I felt those symptoms was just because I felt resentful for his failure to care for me, and because Jiun kept coming to me and annoying me. I thought the reason I had miscarriage was because I overworked myself and I was weak since I was inherently weak.

Now, it was possible that the real reason was that I was poisoned.

I was speechless and dumbfounded. I often broke into an empty smile. As all these things had happened in the past, I had no way to confirm the truth, but I shuddered at the mere thought such a possibility existed.

“Tia, Tia? Come to your senses!” said my father.

“Oh, I guess she was shocked by what I said now. Are you okay, Lady Monique?”

I barely pulled myself together at my father’s anxious calling and the High Priest’s words. .

As the shock gradually subsided, I came to think of what happened rationally.

‘Let me put this aside for now. I still shudder at the mere thought of it, but what’s more important is the present than things of the past that you can’t confirm.’

I looked at the High Priest earnestly and said with a trembling voice, “Then, can’t I have a baby?”

“I don’t know.”

“Pardon? What do you mean you don’t know?”

“Well…Marquis, do you know that your wife had also been poisoned before?”

“Really? My mother? ”

‘What the heck is he talking about?’

I felt a little woozy at that. When I helplessly blinked at his shocking remarks, my father said with a sigh, “Yes, that’s true. Your mother was also poisoned.”

“Oh my…”

“At that time your mother discovered way later that she was poisoned. At first, her symptoms were not so noticeable, and it was difficult to detect it because it was a rare poison. ”

“… ”

“When I realized she was poisoned, it was already late. If the High Priest hadn’t come, your mother would probably have lost her life. ”

I now know why it took seven years for my mother to give birth to me after she got married to my father. As I heard she was not in good health, I thought she got pregnant belatedly.

When I let out a sigh, the High Priest turned his head and said, “If you think about her survival, I think Lady Monique will be able to survive, but I am not so sure because her case is different from your wife. So, I can’t guarantee anything.”

I felt like my hope seemed to vanish. Suddenly, I was breathing roughly.

I closed my eyes to turn away from the dark reality. However, the High Priest’s voice rang more clearly.

“I mentioned two types of poison. I already told you about one of them. The other poison worked as an agent that increased poisoning when she had it steadily. Otherwise, your mother could not have such severe symptoms.”

“If that’s the case, what about me? ”

“Um, to be honest, I’m not sure. If you had been poisoned a lot, you would have already lost your life before I arrived here, let alone your infertility. Before I left the empire for a long journey, your mother came to my mind frequently, so I kept praying blessings for you. Given that, I think you survived…”

I see. When I thought about how I could have survived for the past three months, I now know it was because I received the High Priest’s repeated blessings. But if I had been poisoned severely, I could have survived in one way or another. But what about the possibility of me overcoming infertility?

Though I was so nervous, I tried to calm down and expressed gratitude to the High Priest who kept avoiding my eyes.

“I see. Thank you, Your Eminence.”

“You’re welcome. I could have arrived here much earlier if that guy named Lanier had not obstructed me….I am really sorry for you, Lady Monique.”

“Lanier? Did you mention Lanier?”

When I asked blankly, my father said, “Don’t you know it? The servant who served you a soft drink had been killed, but I found out that Earl Lanier was the mastermind of this incident. He is now under investigation for his other crimes.”

“Really?”

I recalled the man with sandy hair who took issue with whatever I said at the recent conference. I also recalled his daughter who was sarcastically laughing at me on the second banquet of the National Founding Day festival.

If Earl Lanier was the culprit, it was clear who was behind him. The bridegroom candidate for his daughter was none other than Duke Jena’s grandson.

“…Lady Monique?”

“… Ah, yes, Your Eminence.”

When I awoke from my idle thoughts, the High Priest said, slightly bowing his head, “You must be very tired as you got up from the bed. I think I stayed here too long. As I told you the gist of what happened, let me take my leave today. Have a good rest.”

Bowing slightly, the High Priest stood up. My father also stood up and said, looking back at me, “Let me escort the High Priest. So, take a rest.”

“Yes, Dad.”

I sighed deeply, watching the two walking out of my room, What the High Priest said a moment ago was hovering in my ears.

Earl Lanier, was he the culprit?

Suddenly, I couldn’t help but laugh. I knew Duke Jenna made a scapegoat of Earl Apinu last time. This time he obviously tried to get away with this murderous plot by making Earl Lanier the scapegoat.

When I recalled that stubborn old man, I thought of another face. Before my return, she always smiled brightly at me. But she was burning with hostility that I couldn’t understand at all.

Did Jiun also take part in this murderous scheme?

The Jiun that I remembered was not such a woman. But when I think about her now, I couldn’t rule out the possibility altogether. Besides, her foster father is none other than Duke Jena!

Suddenly, I was consumed with surging anger. I got angry not only with them who ruined me by using all kinds of dirty tricks, and myself who was too complacent when I was clearly aware that they were looking for every chance to harm me.

When did you become stupid like this? How could I forget what kind of society I was living in?

Protecting myself to avoid being entangled with the imperial family and setting the fox to keep the geese was completely different, but I had been playing into the noble faction’s hands, preoccupied with avoiding fate like a fool.

I closed my eyes, erasing the old man with purple eyes and the girl with dark hair from my mind. First of all, it was most important to recover my health.

“It’s been a while, Baron Carot. How have you been? ”

“How can I keep well, knowing that you were sick? How fortunate it is that you are alright? I’m so relieved to hear that.”

“Thank you. Hmm, is this all I asked for? ”

When I said that, pointing to the stack of documents, the middle-aged man with gray hair nodded with a worried expression.

“Yes, but I’m afraid you’re being hard on yourself as you have just recovered your health. I hope you can review the documents after you get better…”

“No, I’m fit as a fiddle now. Besides, I can’t go to sleep when I think I have not replied to those who sent me these terrific gifts three months ago.”

When I said that with a smile, the baron said, sighing as if he couldn’t help it.

“… Okay. Then, I’ll be on standby, so if you need anything to instruct me, please let me know.”

“Sure, I will. Oh, I’m sorry I forgot to appreciate your help. Thanks for caring about me. I also want to thank you for taking care of my request.”