Chapter 102

As the clowns moved around and had the spectators in stitches, Allendis sat stiff in a pensive mood and looked at me with a puzzled expression.

“Ah, nothing.”

“Huh? Anything wrong with the flower? ”

“Oh, no. Well, I just don’t think I’ve ever received a flower from anybody. ”

After hesitating for a moment, he said casually, “Aren’t you hungry, Tia? It’s already past dinner time.”

“Really? I feel hungry a bit.”

“How about the restaurant we went to last time? They serve good food there. ”

“Sure, let’s go.”

We passed through the crowds who still had no signs of decreasing and left the commoners’ district.

As I was amazed by lots of things I saw today and I felt good about the red flower I received,

I kept talking to him while walking toward the restaurant, but he responded belatedly as if he was preoccupied with something else.

‘He is really weird. I thought he was okay before the show started.’

However, when I thought about his attitude, I didn’t think he would answer if I asked why, so I just headed to the restaurant without asking.

When we arrived at the restaurant after a long walk, there were not many customers. We sat at a table with a good view that was isolated from the outside, but Allendis asked me to excuse him briefly. After he came back, we ordered and soon enjoyed the dishes, which were quite good today.

When I smiled in satisfaction, cut a piece of a dessert cake, and put it in my mouth, a waitress appeared with a handful of flowers and handed them to me.

‘What the heck?’ When I looked at him curiously, Allendis said with a smile, “Take them, Tia.”

“Ugh?”

“You said you had never received a flower from anybody, so I ordered them.”

“Ah. Thanks, Allen. They’re really pretty.”

Did he act strangely a little while ago because of flowers for me? I smiled, looking at the handful of flowers in my arms. When I was smelling the scent of the flowers with my face close to them, he opened his mouth after hesitating for a while.

“Tia.”

“Huh?”

“Tia, my lady.”

“Why, Allen?”

“I would like to tell you something.”

“Huh? What is that?”

His emerald eyes looking at me were sparkling intensely.

Then he took a deep breath and said, “I like you, Tia.”

I breathed in roughly and stuttered with a trembling voice, “… Ah, Allen. ”

“From the moment I met you, I couldn’t take my eyes off from you as I liked you.”

“Ah… ”

“I know it’s too early. I know you’re still the crown prince’s fiancée. But Tia, can you accept me on the day you become the successor of your family?”

“… ”

“I don’t care when, as long as you can be my girl… I can wait for you forever. ”

I looked at his trembling emerald eyes. Unlike his usual composure, he was waiting for my answer nervously.

As I was at a loss about what to do, I just looked down at the flowers in my arms. A number of thoughts crossed my mind.

‘What beautiful flowers!’

The red petals were shiny, and its green leaves were vivid like the greenery shining in the summer sunshine. Given its gorgeous appearance and vivid colors, its scent should be strong, but it was not strong, but fragrant enough to tickle the tip of my nose. The bouquet, which was too big for me to hold even in my arms, was full of dazzling color because of the small white flowers covering dozens of red flowers like drops of blood on a white snow field.

‘Stop avoiding reality, Aristia.’

I scolded myself for looking at the flowers, lost in idle thoughts, as I had not the courage to face the reality when I was not ready for it at all. Now, I had to tell him about my honest feelings instead of appreciating the bouquet.

When I came back as a ten-year-old girl, a boy suddenly appeared before me as I was doted upon by my father. He was none other than Allendis, a boy with light green hair and a vibrant look like spring buds.

The boy helped me enter my current reality. Thanks to him, I got out of my easy-going life and started fencing, the first step to becoming the successor of my family.

The boy cried and laughed with me instead of sending me alone to the world of swordsmanship that would be a long and arduous journey.

The boy with the green eyes like the verdant summer and dynamic youth helped me get out of the past and move forward. The boy gave me the warmth of a human when I refused to contact anyone except my father and Lina. He began to embrace me warmly when I was often surprised by a mere touch. A sense of fear and rejection that I felt when I touched someone gradually began to disappear thanks to him. Suddenly, I was looking for warmth in another person.

He and my father were everything to me. At first, I was wary of him and did not open my heart, but as I spent more time with him, I suddenly found myself getting addicted to his warmth.

He was like my brother and only friend. I blindly followed him because he sometimes acted maturely like my brother to lead me and sometimes comforted me like a family member.

I felt warm when he cautiously stroked my hair and comforted when he gently embraced me.

I was happy when I watched him calling me ‘my lady’ with a vow to be my knight. I was sometimes jealous of his brilliant talent. I trusted him when he told me he would help me escape the fate of becoming the queen.

‘He was all of me.’

As my relationship with him was shaped like that from the beginning, there was no way for our relationship to avoid unravelling. I blindly turned to Allendis just like I did to the crown prince.

On the day I finally confided my genuine feelings to him, however, my heart sank when I read distrust in his eyes. I felt as if my blind trust in him had been shattered. That day when I asked him a question with the same trust in him that my father had shown me, he replied with shocking disbelief, which made me realize that though he was all of me, I was not all of him. I was so sad. I felt as if my heart would break anytime like cracked glass.

I went down to my father’s estate because I was so sad about my broken trust in Allendis and the restoration of my relationship with the imperial family. At the estate, I could face the reality little by little. I realized that my current life was different from my past life, but through the “mirror room,” I finally realized where I was standing and where I had to live in the future. I could stand on my own without relying on anybody else blindly.

I think it was around that time when my relationship with him started to change.

I couldn’t rely on him blindly anymore. Although he was still like my family member and a dear friend of mine, he was not all of me anymore because I began to live my own life.

Even though I didn’t realize it, the fact that I didn’t think of contacting him when I returned from the estate showed that my relationship with him was different from the past. In fact, it was a poor excuse that I was too busy with taking courses on becoming empress to contact him. In the past, I would have contracted him first no matter how busy I was.

It was when I visited him again after my return to the capital that I clearly realized it. When I avoided his hand unconsciously when he reached out to me, and when I could no longer feel the warmth in his arms that took away all my worries, I clearly realized that my world would not revolve around him again.

While I began to stand on my own, my reliance on him began to decrease inevitably. My world that had been composed of my father and him began to be filled with people who were important to me in various ways. Namely, the knights of my family, my colleagues in the 1st Knights Division, the knights of the 2nd Knights who gladly welcomed me when I visited them sometimes, noble wives and young ladies I met in social circles and Carsein, who became as close to me as Allendis, and the crown prince who I seemed to take me a little more seriously as my fiance.