Chapter 338 - Don't Be Reckless - Part 3

ELRETH

Elreth hadn't seen that look on Gar's face since he was ten or twelve years old. Back when he still idolized their father and tried to copy him in everything he did. It stopped her breath to see it on his face now—when he stood tall enough to look their father in eye and was just as broad.

Reth's eyes widened slightly and came alive—then shut down as Gar blinked and broke the contact. He frowned, but it was thoughtful, as if he looked inward.

Elreth could feel something crackling between them. She was sure her mother could too. She wondered if the others could as well—though Tarkyn and Despyna had stayed further down the tunnel and seemed to be consumed in their own conversation.

She prayed that whatever had broken between her father and her brother would heal. That they'd see each other again and work together instead of against each other.

She glanced at Aaryn and it hit her doubly hard, because he watched Reth with a pain that she'd rarely seen him reveal.

She'd known since they were young that Aaryn missed having a father—and it was an unspoken truth in their family that her father would step into that role for him as much as Aaryn would allow. But she also knew Aaryn lived with the constant fear that if he stepped too far, or hit too hard, that her family would abandon him.

She'd tried to tell him over the years, but he always brushed her off. The truth was, he knew he was loved. But he had trouble trusting it. And now, here, with Reth connecting with her brother she could see Aaryn's fear. He tore his gaze away from Reth a moment later, and she saw his throat bob. She squeezed his hand and he turned to give her a smile, but she could feel how he had to force it.

She hugged his arm and wished none of the others were there so she could pull him close and reassure him. Her father had love enough for all of them. He wasn't perfect, but one thing she'd realized years earlier was that her father loved well and deeply. And her life was better because of it.

Elreth prayed that Aaryn's fear and hurt over the loss of his mother wouldn't make him pull away from her parents. He needed them more than ever.

So did she, she supposed.

"Okay," she said after a very awkward silence had reigned far too long in the tunnel. "So, we know the traverse is dangerous, and the voices are evil. We know they'll try to capture us—and that we need to be really careful who we train to walk through as a Protector. So now what? Does this mean Aaryn's a Protector? You mentioned testing them?"

"It means Aaryn could be. Just about every disformed's blood will work for the Portal, but it's their inner strength that makes them a Protector. We've learned over the years that it's not just about getting them to the right place and relaxing. They have to maintain their strength as Anima," Apryl explained.

"If someone gets into a bad place in their mind, or in their heart… it can be dangerous," Gar said. "So Protectors are selected when they're needed. Based on where that Anima is at on that day. We don't put anyone into the traverse who isn't in a place of strength."

Elreth instinctively looked a warning at Aaryn, who caught it and gave a tiny nod. He knew he wasn't in a position just then to be trying the traverse. Elreth breathed easier then.

"That's why we think you need a lot of them," Apryl said. "If you're going to be doing anything that requires crossing the traverse a lot, you need Protectors on both sides, and they have to be measured every day for where their hearts are at. You have to have options. When one is strong, another won't be, and maybe the next week it's reversed. You need an army, Elreth. And they have to be Anima that will be honest with you about where they're at and what they want. They can't be willing to hide their pain or anger. They can't have too much pride that they'll tell themselves they're good to go when they aren't. This is life and death, every time. It doesn't get easier the more you've done it. It's often harder," she added sadly.

"Why?"

"Because you learn just how crafty and powerful they are, and…. You doubt yourself. Or maybe what they said last time has been playing on your mind and you're getting tempted. It could be any number of things. In the end the point is that we can't just name someone a Protector and move on."

Elreth, still very aware of the tension in her brother, and the strange stillness of her father—like he was afraid to move because it might hurt—forced herself to focus on what Apryl was saying, with Gar and Aaryn jumping in as needed. But in the end, it became clear to Elreth that this wasn't a training like the physical defense, or even the discipline her father had taught them. This wasn't a skill that could be honed and relied upon.

This was… people. This was hearts and minds. And an evil working against them that was intelligent and cunning.

Her skin crawled just thinking about it—she suddenly understood why Aaryn and Gar had jumped on her so hard when she'd talked about crossing. But that didn't mean she shouldn't do it. Only that she was going to have to invest a lot more time and consideration to the process than she'd thought.

Which brought up new questions. "What about the person they're protecting?" she asked suddenly.

Gar raked a hand through his hair then crossed his arms. "If the Protector is strong, they can get anyone through as long as they have physical contact with them. We usually hold hands, or link arms. But they have to go willingly.. Or unconscious."