Chapter 464: Soulmates

When I arrived home, Akane and Minoru welcomed me at the front door.

Well, I promised him that I would buy him some sweets – which Miwa-nee was against – if he was a good boy and would always listen to his mother and Aka-nee.

After passing him a box of chocolate, Miwa-nee, who was looking at us from the living room, clicked her tongue and threw me a reprimanding glare.

I could only mouth sorry to her before Akane and I moved to the kitchen to unpack what I bought. And while we’re doing that, I told her what happened.

“We have a new sister again. I will look for her this Monday in school and ask her to join the group.”

“Don’t intimidate her, alright. Ah… Anyway, you already met each other and you certainly made some great impression on her.”

“Un. I remembered we’re preventing her from being close to you. I instantly saw how interested she was in you. Just the reason that she followed you home back then was enough indication. That girl has some serious crush on you, husband. She didn’t back down even after knowing your circumstances. And now, you got courted by her. Now I’m kind of envious that she got to do that…”

“Envious? Then I welcome my silly girl courting me as well…” Although it wouldn’t make any difference and I would still love her the same. I kinda want to see her doing more silly things. “By the way, I won’t say she’s similar to you but you’re both stubborn at liking a greedy guy like me… I’m aware I cannot really explain why I love you. I just know that you’re irreplaceable for me but Akane, how come you also felt the same?”

That’s how it was for me. My love for her wasn’t like what I felt for Miwa-nee which developed over the years that she’s living with us. But I was ignoring all of that because there’s only Akane in my eyes. It’s also unlike how I came to love every girl I have right now. I unknowingly worked my way into their heart and while I was unaware of my feelings for them because of my desire, it had surely developed from my interest in them.

Only with Akane would I say that it was unexplainable. With the desire that was driving me forward peeled off, I began to remember how I acted towards her back then.

True, I was ignoring each and every advances made by her to make me look at her, I was actually watching her secretly. And even though I kept on telling her to get a guy for me to ignite my desire for her. I would probably stop her from doing that when she decided to follow my words.

I was thoroughly in denial of my feelings for her. And at the back of my mind, I didn’t want her to become like the girls I’d hurt and thrown away…

It’s truly unexplainable but that’s how it was with this girl. Without her, I will probably not be completed. Especially now that I could feel that emotion again.

I could admit to myself that even though I also wanted to keep Haruko, Yae and the other girls I thought were irreplaceable, if they decided and asked me to let them go, I would probably try to ask them to rethink. And if they’re so sure with that decision, I would have no choice but to accept. Because it’s their choice.

However, if Akane asked me the same thing, I would probably never allow her to leave me… No matter what.

And that’s why she’s special…

“Don’t be silly, husband. You know that there’s virtually no reason why we love each other ever since we start perceiving things around us. We just do feel like that towards each other and we acted on it – although innocently during our childhood…” Akane answered immediately while poking my forehead before giggling cutely. Following that, she pulled herself up and continued. “Furthermore, I don’t need to look for a reason why I love you. I think it will be more unnatural for me to doubt this love I have for you. If I can put a word what to call us… Soulmates might be fitting. Our parents might’ve planned to pair us both but even without them doing that, we’re already an inseparable pair. Without you, I will not be complete.”

That last sentence, we’re on the same page, huh? That’s how it was for us even if we try to look for a reason why we’re together or why we’re inseparable, there’s not a very deep reason for it. We just feel like it.

Perhaps that’s how it really was for us, we’re soulmates. It’s a cringy concept but that’s the only concept that would fit why we’re drawn to each other.

“Husband, don’t look at me like that, I still feel embarrassed when you’re staring at me, you know?”

Because I didn’t reply and just continued staring at her while thinking all that, Akane’s whole face immediately reddened. The speed at which we were unpacking the groceries also slowed down because of this conversation between us.

Perhaps, if Miwa-nee checked on us, she would reprimand us for flirting and being so slow.

“Sorry. You know me. I got into my habit of overthinking. But really, have you ever thought of giving up on me?”

With my question, Akane paused and gradually lowered her head as if she’s ashamed to look at me.

I probably hit where it hurts. I instantly regretted asking her when the result was this. Her earlier vibrant mood turned gloomy all of a sudden.

However, before I could take my words back, Akane lifted her head and met my gaze with those fiery red eyes of hers. With a depreciating smile on her lips, she answered. “I will be lying if I answered no. All those years when your desire was running rampant, there were times when I also thought of giving up. Seeing you with other girls. I wanted to run up to them and tell them that you’re mine. I wanted to talk to them and ask them to leave you alone. But all of those things, it only stayed in my mind…” At this point, tears began welling up from her eyes. She reached for my arm and pulled herself near me. She then slipped her arms from my side to hug me tightly. It was so tight that it felt as if she’s afraid to let go or I might disappear in front of her. “I was afraid, Ruki. Afraid about the possibility that if you were forced to choose, you would choose them. That’s why instead of confronting them, I thought of pulling them all together. That way, I can hear from them about you. The you that I cannot see.”

As I slowly took in her words, I felt the warmth of her tears seeping through my clothes and reaching my skin. My hands naturally moved to her back and her head, stroking her back and patting her head.

I wanted to say something but… I couldn’t find the words.

This girl endured all of that for me. For a greedy guy like me. And this time, she’s still enduring all of it. Or rather, she forced herself to accept it. She had no choice after all. Either that or she would end up in despair every day…

“Ruki… I showed you an unsightly display.” Akane lifted her head after a while, her tears already stopped falling. With her lovely smile back to her lips, she’s trying to assure me that there’s no need for me to worry.

“Silly girl, blame me for once, will you? It’s me who put those tears in your eyes. I became insensitive again.”

However, Akane just shook her head before tiptoeing to kiss me. “There’s no need to blame anyone. Let’s just say I remembered bad things and that led me to cry… Let’s go and finish this, you still have to pick up Yaeko.”

See. She’s still enduring. I never heard her blame me for anything. True, she’s complaining or getting upset at times but those couldn’t be compared to what she’s enduring for me.

And even this time, if I said anything more, she would just deny it and try to diffuse the situation, letting it not evolve to another sad occasion.

I was aware of the only solution to all of this, letting everyone go and just focusing on her. However, I would never do that.

That’s why I could only gulp it down and follow her lead to just sweep it away.

“Akane, I love you...” I tightened my embrace on her and kissed her back.

“Un. I really love hearing that from you, husband. I love you too.” Akane giggled lovingly before urging me to let her go so we could finish unpacking the groceries.

I’m hopeless. I keep on hurting her and all of them but I still stubbornly think that I can take care of all of them… Will I change? I don’t know. This is the only path I can see in front of me after all. There’s no turning back and there’s no other path to change into.

After unpacking the groceries. Akane accompanied me upstairs to help me pick an outfit.

Well, what I was wearing was still wet from her tears so I needed to change.

And apart from that… I had the urge to hold her one more time before going out. To express my love for her.