Chapter 358 - COMMANDER YOAN'S CONFESSION (1)

"NEOMA."

Neoma smiled when Nero approached her after everyone left. "Yes, Brother?"

Nero said nothing. He just held her hand, then pulled her for a hug. "I'm glad," he said as he wrapped his arms around her. "I'm glad there's a possibility you didn't die by my hands in your first life."

Ah, so this was why Nero kicked everyone out and stayed behind.

"Why didn't you tell me, Brother?" she asked, then she hugged Nero back. "Why didn't you tell me you have memories of your first life, too?"

"I don't remember my past memories like you do," he confessed. "I just had a long dream, and the things I saw weren't as detailed as your memories. It was as if someone just wanted to leave me some clues. Moreover, it happened when we were younger. I thought it was just a dream until things made sense recently."

"I see," she said while patting his back. "Is that why you were nice to me since we were babies? You were just guilty for treating me badly in our past lives?"

Nero pulled away from their hug, then he held her shoulders. "I genuinely like my lovely twin sister, who's good to me," he said seriously. "How about you, Neoma? You have the memories of your past life ever since we were babies."

"To be honest, I only remembered my past life when we were three years old."

"Same difference," he said casually. "We were estranged in our past lives. But you acted nice to me, even though you know I killed you in your past life." He bit his lower lip before he spoke again. "Neoma, were you just sucking up to me all this time to prevent history from repeating itself?"

Ouch.

Her twin brother hit the bull's eye.

"That was my initial plan, Nero," she confessed because there was no use lying now. "I wanted you to love me to death, so you couldn't kill me in the end."

"That was a weak plan," he said disapprovingly. "If I were you, I would have killed the person who killed me as soon as I regressed."

She couldn't say she was surprised by what Nero said.

[I mean, that's sooo on his brand.]

And Nero's "brand" was "bad and crazy."

"You were so cute when we were babies, Nero," she confessed. "I didn't have the heart to kill you then. Plus, I never really hated you."

"Why?"

"Because I experienced having a loving family back in my second life."

Yes, she also told Nero the story about her second life– even her connection with Gavin Quinzel, her appa.

"I just wanted to live a lazy life when I regressed as Neoma de Moonasterio," she said. "I thought it was more important than getting my revenge. I guess I was just thankful that I died in my first life because if I didn't, I wouldn't be reborn in the modern world with loving parents. So, when I regressed here, all my ill-feelings toward you were already gone."

"Then are your feelings for me genuine now, Neoma?"

"They've always been genuine, Nero," she said with a soft laugh. "I genuinely like my crazy, yet loving twin brother."

Nero smiled, satisfied by her answer. "I'm glad you're kind-hearted, Neoma."

"I know, right?" she agreed. "If I killed you right away, I would have regretted it after I found out you might not be responsible for my death in my first life."

He smiled and gently caressed her face. "I will be a proper brother this time, Neoma."

"You already are, Nero," she said while smiling. "Let's save our family together."

He nodded, then he turned serious. "Neoma, I understand why you care about Gavin Quinzel. But after hearing your story about your encounter with the Sun Priestess, I don't think it would be wise to save your "appa" right now. Can't we focus on our Mother for now?"

It was a rightful request from her twin brother.

[Everyone around me has been hurt by appa. I can't blame them for seeing him as a villain. I should set my personal feelings aside.]

"I understand, Nero," she said, then she smiled and patted his head. "Hurry and get well soon."

He smiled and nodded. "I will come back in three years' time, Neoma."

"I'll wait for you."

He was about to say something, but he seemed to be distracted when his "body" turned translucent. "Ah, the Spirit World is calling me back."

"Alright," she said, then she waved her hand. "See you later, Nero."

"You should return, too," Nero said worriedly. "Father must be worried about you by now."

"I will," Neoma said, then she looked up at the fake sky above them when she felt a familiar presence. "I'll just have to greet a fashionably late guest first."

***

IT WAS really Ruto.

Neoma already suspected that her late visitor was Ruto. Still, it was nice to see him. Well, it was just him in his Spirit form.

[Still, I'm glad to see him.]

It hurt her heart to see the huge burn scar on Ruto's face. But no matter how selfish it sounded, she had to admit that her heart was happy. It was like proof of how special she must be for Ruto.

[I might be my vanity talking, but whatever.]

Ruto let out a sigh while combing his fingers through his hair. "Please don't call me by that name, Neoma."

Neoma raised an eyebrow at him. "The Sun Priestess can call you 'Yoan,' but I can't?"

He looked surprised by her question.

[Gosh, why do I sound jealous?]

"She didn't tell me anything," she said, acting cool this time. Then she sat on the railing of the bridge where they were currently at. It was a replica of the Hangang Bridge in Korea. "But I remember the Sun Priestess mentioning the name 'Yoan.' It seemed to trigger something in my memory." She turned to him and smiled. "Then I remember you as Commander Yoan Stroganoff."

Ruto sat beside her, but he left a decent space between them. "Did you fight Sienna?"

"Is that the Sun Priestess's name?"

"Ah, yes."

"I lost to Lady Sienna," she said, then she stared at the Han River in front of them. Wow, the sun was already setting. She didn't know she could change the "setting" that way. Was it because she didn't want to see the sun at the moment? "She has the same ability as you."

"Huh? Did Sienna strike you with thunderbolts?"

"That wanna-be P*kachu lady used thunderbolt on me, and it's very effective," she said, then she looked at her arms. "I had "sunburn" all over my skin. Thank goodness the Moon Priest was there to heal me."

"I'm so sorry about that, Neoma."

She clicked her tongue, annoyed. "Why are you apologizing on her behalf?"

"I…"

She turned to him with a sharp look on her face. "You what?"

"I serve the Sun Goddess, Neoma."

"So what?" she asked, confusing Ruto. "I don't care about the god you serve. I'm asking why you're apologizing on behalf of the Sun Priestess. What's your relationship with Lady Sienna?"

"We were raised together like siblings since we both serve the Sun Goddess," he said, still confused by her reaction earlier. "Sienna has always been a troublemaker, so I'm used to cleaning up after her mess and apologizing on her behalf."

"Okay," she said, relieved to hear his explanation. "Did she also cause trouble for you in your previous life?"

"She did, since she was a piece of work even then…" he trailed off, then he looked at her with a shocked look on his face. "Oh."

"I knew it," she said. "You also remember your first life."

"Neoma–"

"I only have one clear memory of Commander Yoan," she said, cutting him off on purpose. "I remember waking up and seeing you with Nero, Lewis, Hanna, and Trevor. You called them my Four Pillars."

"Did you conclude I remember my first life based on that?"

"The way Commander Yoan looked at Neoma Quinzel is the same way Ruto Stroganoff looks at Neoma Ramsay."

His face turned red, then he avoided her gaze. "Don't ask questions," he said. "I'm not allowed to speak about my past life with you. Humans aren't supposed to remember their first lives, but the gods made an exception this time. But there are strict rules I must follow."

She already expected that much.

[Lord Manu said Lord Yule and the Cosmic Tree were punished for speaking about things that should have been forbidden to talk about.]

"Are you on my side, Ruto?"

"Of course," he said without missing a heartbeat. "Not only me. The Sun Goddess is also on your side, Neoma. She's working hard now that Lord Yule was forced into a deep slumber."

"Is it okay to talk about that?"

"That's as much as I could tell you."

"Why is it forbidden for you to talk about your past life with me?"

"It will trigger your memories."

"Am I not supposed to remember them, Ruto?"

"Not now," he said. "You'll eventually remember everything. But if you force it now, I will lose all the memories of my past life. If that happens, I can no longer help you." He turned to her with pleading eyes. "So, if you can help it, please don't force yourself to remember everything. Let me help you this time, Neoma."

"This time?" she asked. "Did you not help me before?"

His head drooped as if he was embarrassed. "I failed," he said. "I failed to protect you, and the Four Pillars. We lost against Darkness."

"I figured that much," she said with a shrug. Although it sucked that they lost to the enemies in the past, it was something she couldn't change anymore. She didn't want to waste her energy on something like regret. "That means I also failed to protect you then, Ruto."

He turned to her with a confused look on his face. "But you're not obligated to protect me. It should be the other way around."

"I refuse to accept that," she said stubbornly. "You're one of my people, Ruto."

He said nothing, but his face beamed.

She pointed to the burn mark on his face. "That would be the first and last injury you'd receive from protecting me."

"Are you still bothered by this burn mark?"

"Of course."

"Why do you care so much about my face when you don't find me handsome, anyway?"

She almost choked on her saliva. "I like your face, though? You look nice and neat."

"But not as handsome as the members of your harem, right?"

Her eyes opened wide. "I don't have a harem, though?"

"Nero de Moonasterio, Lewis Crevan, Trevor Kesser, Jasper Hawthorne–"

"I like your face the most!" she screamed while covering her ears with her hands. To be honest, she was yelling because she suddenly felt hot. She hoped she wasn't blushing, but that might be wishful thinking. "And you look good in purple hair."

"Really?"

She turned to Ruto and was about to ask him to stop teasing her. But she forgot what she was about to say when he suddenly changed his appearance.

[Wow…]

Ruto changed to his adult form. He still had the burn mark on his face. But this time, his hair had turned purple. Even his eyes changed from black to deep violet.

And he was wearing the same knight's uniform that she saw him wear in her dream.

[What about me?]

Just when she was about to complain, she felt her limbs and hair grow longer. In just a few moments, she already transformed into her adult form as well.

"This is how I look when I was Commander Yoan Stroganoff," Ruto said, then he smiled awkwardly. "The commander that you met in your past life was a failure, so I tried to change my identity when I regressed."

When he put his hand on his chest, his knight's uniform changed into a black chef's uniform.

"I'm Ruto now," he said softly. "Can I stay being your Ruto, Neoma?"

It was a romantic moment, but…

"My Ruto, my ass," she said, annoyed. "You sent me a letter saying you will not contact me again."

The confusion on his face made her realize something.

"As expected, you weren't the one who wrote and sent that letter to me," she said while shaking her head. "Could it be Lady Sienna?"

He let out a sigh, then he nodded. "She could imitate my handwriting perfectly."

She frowned. "Why weren't you able to stop her, then?"

"I was probably deep asleep when she sent you that letter."

"Why were you asleep?" she asked, confused. "You couldn't be sleeping normally, right? So, what happened?"

"Uh, I drained my energy," Ruto said, then he avoided her gaze. "It happened after I trapped Gavin Quinzel in that block of ice."

To say that she was shocked would be an understatement. "Excuse me?"

"I'm also the one responsible for Regina Crowell's disappearance," he said while scratching his cheek, still refusing to look at her in the eye. "I tried to kill her, but that little crow escaped."

"Ruto."

"Uhm, yeah?"

"What else do I need to know?"

"Hmm…" he said, then he stared at the Han River as if he was lost in thoughts. "Should I tell you?"

"Tell me before I drown you in the Han River, Ruto."

Her heart was beating fast and hard against her chest. Of course, there was a storm in her head.

Ruto was the one who made Regina Crowell disappear?

And Ruto was also the one who trapped her appa in that block of ice?

Weirdly enough, she couldn't be mad. It was as if she already knew that Ruto wouldn't do any of that behind her back without her permission. She trusted him that much, and she belatedly realized a fearsome truth.

[Ruto has so much power over me.]

"Neoma."

"What?"

"We were never more than friends," Ruto said while looking at her with a solemn look on his face. "The man you loved in your first life wasn't me."

Neoma closed her eyes, suddenly feeling an impending doom. "Please, please, please tell me it wasn't Rubin Drayton."

***

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