Chapter 268 - Confessions

~ LHARS ~ 

Kyelle stared at him silently, her jaw slack. She kept blinking and closing her mouth as if she was going to say something, then it would drop open again. If he wasn't so terrified it would have been comical.

Instead, Lhars stood in the water in front of her, stomach churning, his chest heaving fast enough to make the water ripple as he waited to see what she would say. But when she spoke, it was to question him.

"Lhars… What are you saying?"

He swallowed hard, but didn't drop her gaze. "I'm saying… I'm saying that everything you said a few minutes ago is absolute bullshit, because if you cross the gateway without me and something happened to you over there it would… eviscerate me."

She blinked, then blinked again. Shook her head in disbelief. "Is this… some kind of joke? A ploy? Are you just trying to be right—trying to be the good guy and to prove to me—"

"No." He laid the word before her like an offering—and a command. Conviction was heavy in his tone. The weight of it underlined with every ounce of alpha authority that Lhars possessed. Which matched as hers. And yet… she wavered and almost submitted.

There was a heavy, pregnant pause then as they stared at each other.

Then Kyelle's mouth closed and she shook her head again, her jaw going tight. "I don't believe you," she said, her voice shaking. "This makes no sense. We've been friends for years. Together all the time… You've never spoken to me about this. Never even—"

"Because your heart was already spoken for," he said sadly.

"What?"

The water rippled as Lhars pulled another hand up to claw it through his hair, leaving water droplets trickling down his face and shoulders. "Don't you get it, Kyelle? You're my Zev."

She blinked several times as if he'd flicked water in her eyes.

He inhaled her scent to read her because she was so still he couldn't figure out if she was shocked, or angry, or sad.

Then her throat bobbed. "You're serious."

"Yes, I am."

He knew he was being intense, staring down at her, his brows pinched and jaw tight because he was so afraid she'd reject him. But her expression was still open, stunned. Her eyes grew even wider, and for the first time, she looked at him.

Really looked at him.

He saw it in her, in the way her pupils dilated. In the way she dragged them down from his eyes to his jaw, to his neck, then his chest and shoulders.

Her throat bobbed again and hope bounced in his heart.

He took a step closer and she didn't move. He waited, but she was still staring at his chest, her eyes so beautiful.

He took another step, and now they were almost chest to chest. She looked up to his face again and her head was craned back. Their eyes locked, and a tiny whine crawled out of his throat.

Slowly, so slowly, he lifted his hand out of the water. A strand of hair had fallen forward and stuck to her cheek and neck. With a silent prayer that she wouldn't recoil, he trailed one, shaking finger from her temple, down the side of her cheek, to her jaw, then combed the hair back over her shoulder.

Tension drained out of his body as his fingers trailed over her skin, warm beneath the cooler water.

"Kyelle?" he rasped.

"Yes?"

"I've waited so long… so long. And… and I'll keep waiting. As long as it takes for you to… to be free. But the idea of you going over there and facing those people, walking into danger… the fact that you believe you're unwanted—it's just a pure lie. And I can't… I can't let you do that. I don't want you to do that. I don't want to lose my chance."

Her jaw dropped again.

Lhars rushed in before she could say what he feared was coming. "Kyelle, do you hear me? If something happens to you, or to me, I need you to know. It's not true that you aren't desired. It's not true that you're unseen. I've always seen you. Always wanted you. You're my mate.

There was a tiny, sharp intake of breath and her shoulders rose. But her eyes never left his.

"Lhars, I… I never realized…"

"I know."

They stared at each other and Lhars' hope bloomed. She wasn't pulling away. She wasn't staring at him like he was repulsive.

Barely breathing, he began to lean in, his eyes searching hers as he entered her space. He hesitated, his mouth just an inch from hers.

Kyelle didn't move to close the space, but she didn't recoil either.

Praying for strength, Lhars lifted a hand to cradle the back of her head and closed the space, his lips brushing hers as he whispered, "Kyelle, I lo—"

Kyelle burst to life, one hand shoving on his chest, the other stroking backwards in the water to pull her back, away from him, her entire body twisting, the water around them churning as she struggled to move because of the weight of the water.

"Too soon," she whispered. "I can't, Lhars. I'm sorry, I can't!" she twisted out of his hands and turned, scrambling out of the water, pulling at it like a lifeline to take her away from him.

Lhars breathed her name, his voice breaking as she did everything in her power to run from him—she tripped as she hit the shallow water, but caught herself and was back on her feet, running, then bursting into her owl and flapping hard, her wings snapping the air with the force she used to pull herself through the air.

Away from him.

Then she disappeared over the trees, and Lhars slumped his hands falling back into the water, his shoulders rounded, carrying the weight of every disappointment, every pain he'd always feared for this moment as he slowly, slowly dragged himself out of the water, got dressed, and left.

Alone.