Chapter 267 - What You Really Think

~ LHARS ~ 

"Was that what you wanted to tell me?" Kyelle asked quietly. "Or was there more?" Her eyes were a little too wide, shining, but with a hint of grief, not the heat he wanted to see there. Even so, Lhars had to swallow the sudden urge to take her chin in his hand and pull her into a kiss.

Blinking away from the mental images, he shook his head. "I… no. I just…" He trailed off, frustrated with himself. She'd just told him she was giving up on finding a mate! She'd just told him she was letting go of Zev and didn't believe another male would ever take her.

"Lhars?" Kyelle said, more gently this time, as if she'd gathered that she wasn't the only one struggling.

Lhars' breath whooshed out of him like he'd been punched. He clenched his hands to fists beneath the surface of the water, met her eyes, and forced himself not to tuck his tail between his legs.

"I want to ask you not to go through the gateway. Not to join the pack going to the human world."

Whatever she'd expected, it wasn't that. Her head jerked back and her brow furrowed.

"Why not?"

Lhars' courage failed him at her clear disapproval and he looked down at the water. "I just feel like it's not really safe for you," he murmured. "If the males have to run, if there's an attack… you won't be able to keep up."

She tilted her head. "I'll just shift and fly instead," she said carefully. "I know it's not ideal, but even though I'm large as a bird, humans still just see a really fucking big bird. Zev said—"

"It doesn't matter," Lhars growled, not wanting to turn her mind back to Zev. "The point is, it's dangerous. The humans are interested in our females. If there's any kind of conflict or face off, you'll be their first target after Zev himself, because you're female."

Kyelle's frown lines deepened. "Lhars, where is this coming from? They know I can't have offspring. They're not interested in me, that's why I'm still here! I'm the perfect person to go because we already know they don't care about me!"

Lhars gritted his teeth in frustration. She wasn't thinking. She wasn't listening! "You're Alpha of a Clan," he said gruffly. "You should stay here and be here for your people. Send someone from your flock so that if anything happens we don't lose more leaders in the hierarchy. I mean who knows what might—"

"Weren't you about to volunteer before Zev told you he needed you to stay here?" she asked suspiciously.

Lhars bristled. "That's not the point!"

Kyelle shook her head, and folded her arms, pressing the top of her breasts up out of the water. Lhars had to force himself to hold her gaze and not look down at those beautiful, soft mounds. But before he could come up with another argument, Kyelle sighed.

"What's this really about Lhars?" she asked gently, her knowing eyes locked on his. Lhars' stomach twisted with nerves. Was he going to be honest with her? After that conversation, he wasn't sure if she'd be comforted to learn of his feelings, or think he was just trying to prove a point.

"Lhars?"

His stomach fluttered like a butterfly on the wing, but he was so, so tired of hiding himself from her. And she was right there, her body soft and warm under the water… Lhars raked a hand through his hair and growled. Then he looked up and locked eyes with her, letting himself feel… everything.

Kyelle's nostrils flared and her eyes widened.

"I don't want you to go," he said slowly, "Because I don't want anything to happen to you."

Kyelle blinked, then her startled gaze flattened. "Fucking Alpha Males, are we not past this yet, Lhars? Are you for fucking real? It's okay for the males to walk into danger, but not me?"

"No, that's not—"

"Then what is it? I can't provide anyone with young, so what possible difference is there between me and any other Alpha? If I could have babies I'd understand. I'd need to protect that. But this is something I can actually do—and I wasn't lying about why. The females need to see other females. If they've been harmed by males and they're going to be surprised by a sudden rush of Chimeran Alphas come to free them, there's every chance that they'll shut down and refuse to leave with a male. And what if Sasha's not there or something? We need to have females on the team."

"I just think that you're… there must be other females who can—"

"Bullshit, Lhars. Did Gheet put you up to this? Or Dunken? Who thinks I can't do this?"

"No one! My concern was for your safety—"

"Don't lie to me! You've never tried to hold me back from anything dangerous. You've never shown even the slightest concern about me handling myself before. What happened? What do you think I'm not strong enough to do?"

"It's not that, I said," Lhars growled.

"Then what is it? I mean, it just doesn't make sense, why wouldn't—" Then she sucked in hard and her eyes went wide. Lhars' stomach jangled with fear. Had she realized, and she was horrified by the idea of him?

"You think I'm going to try and approach Zev again?!" she whisper-screamed. "Is that it?"

"What?! No! Kyelle—"

"All this talk about Zev first, were you just trying to feel me out and see if I was going to try for him? For the Creator's sake, Lhars, I told you once he was mated, that was it for me. I would never—"

"Kyelle, that's not what's going on here!"

"Then why would you—"

"I'm afraid you'll get hurt and I'll lose you!" he bellowed. Then he slapped both hands down into the water in frustration as Kyelle froze, gaping at him. Shit. That was all wrong. He sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" he said, then buried his face in both hands. "I'm terrified, Kyelle. So scared that something will happen to you before your heart's healed. And I can't stand the idea… the idea of never getting my chance to show you."

"Sh-show me what?" she breathed.

He lifted his head and locked eyes with her so she'd see he was telling the truth. "Show you that everything you said before was so utterly wrong.. Don't you get it, Kyelle? I've wanted you for years."