Chapter 122 - Remember When - Part 1

~ SASHA ~

The others began to question him then—exploring the decisions he'd made, the information he'd been given, and asking detailed questions about the females he'd had contact with, or Chimera he'd seen in the human world.

She still had her hand on his forearm and she could feel the tension in him, see the disgust with himself on his face—and she recognized the expression. It surprised her. But when one of the men around the fire asked him about a specific female he'd recognized and named, she was thrown back into a memory from their years together in high school…

In the months before they'd finally slept together, they'd discussed it many times. There had been any number of near-misses, nights when they'd found themselves alone unexpectedly, or times when the kiss turned heated and clothes became restrictive.

Sasha had never experienced the heat before—the drive in her gut that pushed her forward, yearning, seeking something. She knew what, she wasn't an idiot. But the whole idea, on its own, had always terrified her a little bit.

Being naked with a guy?

Letting him put himself inside your body?

Being so… open. So visible? Sharing a part of herself that literally no one else had ever seen or felt?

Before she'd met Zev, she hadn't really been that tempted to have sex. She'd felt desire, sure, but never strong enough to overcome her fear.

But then Zev walked into her life.

Her friends called it immediately, that he would be The One. In fact, they were so annoying the first few months, she refused to even think about going there, just because something stubborn within her refused to be such a cliché.

But as her friends got bored of teasing her—and probably gave up because at that point she'd held out for six months already—her mind turned more and more often to Zev and his body and his touch and the way it made her feel.

She'd catch herself sometimes when they were at school, or out on a date. Simple things—like the time he left her at the table while he went to the front counter of the restaurant to pay for the dinner they'd just enjoyed. He was half-turned away from her, his wide shoulders prominent. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket in that easy way guys had when they weren't really thinking, and as he reached back his shoulder blade punched out of the tight top he wore, reminding her of the weekend before when they'd taken that trip to the beach and she'd watched the muscles on his back ripple and move under his skin as he walked and moved and… 

Sitting there, in the little local diner, with nothing going on, she'd suddenly felt that ache between her legs… the hollow in the pit of her stomach that yearned to be filled. She'd imagined herself standing behind him when he had no shirt on, stroking down his back, following the hollow that hugged his spine, and the ridges between his muscles with her fingers.

And that heat, that little ache, had climbed. Become something powerful. Something that made her heart beat faster and her mouth go dry.

She'd had to turn away from him and turn her mind from what she was seeing, because otherwise when he came back to her, she was going to embarrass herself.

When he'd returned from paying, he looked tense, and she wasn't really sure why. But she was so busy dealing with her own discomfort—the urge to put her hand between her legs and press—that she'd tried to ignore it.

Maybe some guy had made a crack at him, or the woman had been rude. Zev was really sweet and good-natured, but if he thought people were mistreating others, he could get angry fast. She left him to his own tension as they got in his truck, and turned her face to the window, putting her forehead against the cold glass and pressing her hands between her thighs.

"Sash?" he'd said a few minutes down the road. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." But she hadn't turned away from the window that felt wonderful on her burning skin.

Was she having some kind of weird hormonal flare or something? Why was she suddenly… horny? She'd never experienced that before. Usually, the few relationships she'd had before had ended because she was so busy slapping the guy's hands away that they both got tired of it.

When they reached her house, the lights weren't on. Which meant her parents weren't home. Which meant… holy shit. Was she actually considering this?

"Sash?" Zev's voice was kind of strangled. "What's going on? You're really quiet."

She turned to him to find him sitting, hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. And his eyes… his eyes fixed on her so intently, pupils so wide the rest of his eyes almost seemed to glow.

"Oh, gosh, Zev, I'm sorry. I'm just… I'm just distracted. Don't worry. You don't have to worry. I promise." She made herself lean across and kiss him gently, tried not to let herself linger too long, but he put a hand to her face when their lips met and neither of them pulled away quickly.

By the time they did, she was actually panting. "I'm feeling a little… um… flustered," she said with a nervous giggle.

Zev's eyes hadn't strayed from her face. His Adam's apple bobbed and he nodded. "I'm thinking… it looks like your parent's aren't home, right?"

"Yeah," she said, watching him. Would he ask? Would she say yes?

She wanted to.

Holy shit, she wanted to.

They'd gotten out of the truck and he'd taken her hand, leading her towards the door. But as they stepped onto the porch and she got her key out, he hung back. When she opened it, he took her hand and stopped her walking in.

Her stomach had plummeted. And then she'd turned around and it felt like the floor dropped out from under her feet.. Because everything on his face spoke of revulsion and dread.