Chapter 82 - Close

~ ZEV ~

Holding Sasha in the moonlight, inhaling her scent, soaking up her warmth, Zev's mind quieted in a way it hadn't in years. The worries and pressures of events, his fears for the coming days, even his hopes… everything sank to a tiny buzz in the back of his mind, a gnat to be ignored.

She was here. And she was holding onto him like she was afraid he would disappear. Stroking her hair, trailing his hands down her back, he shifted so they were pressed together from her knees to point where he'd tucked her head under his chin.

But the longer they stood that way, the more aware of her he became—his skin prickling, pebbling at the slightest shift between them just from breathing. He felt her on every inch of him, and his body woke up under her hands.

He didn't think she'd realized yet that he was naked and he didn't want to break the beautiful moment they were having. But he could feel her starting to shiver and he wasn't sure her goosebumps were entirely from touching him.

So, dropping his head to brush his lips to the side of her neck, he whispered, "let's get in the water where it's warm."

Her head came up and she met his eyes. He could see the questions in them. But either she was too tired to fight, or she'd felt, just like he had, that the need to be closer was… just that: a need.

His breath got faster.

She'd had the towel wrapped around her like a blanket when she appeared, but it had fallen to the dirt when he startled her and now she stood there in nothing but a long, shapeless cotton shirt.

While she watched, he slid a hand from her jaw, down her neck, brushing the side of her breast as he followed the line of her body down to that gorgeous dip in her waist, and the flare of her hip, then to her thigh where he stopped and fisted the shirt.

It only reached halfway to her knees and he was almost certain if he raised it, she'd be wearing nothing underneath. His body howled for attention, but he pushed it back. He hadn't even kissed her yet, but something drove him forward—the instinct of the wolf inside, to take and claim his mate, to cover her in his scent so that no other would dare touch her.

To be close to her so her head couldn't be turned by another. And yet, as things stood, that could be a death sentence.

She'd gone still when he clenched her shirt in his fist, but he hadn't tugged it up. He cleared his throat, both their eyes fixed on that point where his hand was so, so close to baring her.

"I'll get in," he said hoarsely, gently brushing the side of her thigh with the backs of his fisted fingers through the cotton. "You can get undressed and follow. I won't turn around until you tell me to."

She nodded, her eyes wide and mouth slack, but she didn't stop him when he let go of the shirt, leaving a cluster of creases and lines in it as he stepped back, then forced himself to turn away and walked deeper into the pool until he was covered to his chest.

Behind him, the whump of the towel being picked up then the rustle of it thrown over a nearby bush was followed by the whisper of thin fabric on skin. A tantalizing image bloomed in his mind of Sasha standing on the banks of the pools, taking hold of the hem of the shirt and pulling it up and over her head, so it pulled her mahogany hair over her shoulders and down her back until she flung it onto the bush to join the towel.

Her breath shook, her teeth beginning to chatter, but she didn't say anything. He followed the soft sound of her feet on the dirt bank, then the ripple as she stepped deeper and deeper into the water, and the guttural groan she gave as her body was washed in its heat.

"Oh that's fantastic," she breathed.

Zev gave a little shiver of his own, but not from the warmth. He could feel the tiny waves in the water from her passage breaking on his back. Then suddenly she was there, pressing herself against his back, her hands at his waist, her cheek resting in the dip between his shoulder blades.

Zev could barely breathe. How had this happened? How had he gone from bathing in the isolation of being cast out, to naked and warmed by the full, soft press of Sasha's breasts on his back?

"Are you—" he broke off and cleared his throat. "Are you okay if I turn around?" he asked, his voice deeper than usual.

"Just a second," she whispered. Her hands came around to splay on his stomach, fingers wide as if she wanted to touch as much of him as it was possible to do at once. "I just need… a second," she breathed.

Zev nodded and let his head fall back, pulling his elbows in to pin her arms under his and sighing so deeply it felt as if he released something broken.

"Five years, Zev," she whispered, her voice so quiet he imagined a human wouldn't have caught it. "Five years I've dreamed about this. About what it would feel like to touch you again, to have you touch me. It's just… it's hard to believe it's actually happening. And even though I want it—I want you, Zev. I've never wanted anyone else at all. I've never trusted anyone else enough—I'm afraid too. This whole thing is crazy. And I can't be alone with you. And…"

She tensed, like she was waking up from a dream, and Zev felt the shift in her, as if she'd just realized what she was doing—and regretted it.

He couldn't let her regret it.

As she leaned back, lifting her head from against his back, he turned and took her face in his hands, forcing her to meet his eyes.

"I've waited five years, too, Sash," he whispered. "And not just to… sleep with you. I've waited to be close to you. To see you smile, and to hear your voice. I've waited for the day I could tell you you're my mate. Tell everyone you're mine!" he hissed urgently, his fingers tightening on her jaw.

She blinked, but her eyes sparked and Zev's heart fizzed.

"I know it's hard, Sash, but you have to trust me. I will never, ever let anything bad happen to you. I'd die myself first."

Her chest expanded, like what he'd said had released something in her. But then her brows pinched in over her nose. "How can you say that when you left?"

"I left because I was manipulated into believing if I didn't, they'd kill you. And they promised to keep you safe from everything else. The only threat to you was me, Sash. Being close to me. I thought… I thought I was keeping you safe."

"You broke my heart, Zev," she said in a tiny voice that cut his own heart to ribbons.

"I'm sorry, Sash. I got it wrong. I know that. But please… believe me. If I'd known, I would have fought. I left because I thought it kept you safe. I love you." In the moonlight, her eyes shone, glistening with unshed tears.

"I've waited so long to hear that again."

"You'll hear it every day that I'm still breathing," he whispered, dropping his nose to brush the side of hers, inhaling her scent. "I'm going to fix this, and then I'm going to claim you. And you're going to fight me on it, and I'm going to win you and then no one's ever going to stand between us again," he vowed, his lips just millimeters from hers, their breaths mingling. "Please, Sash… please believe me."

And then he kissed her.