Chapter 76 - The Offering Box (2)

Chapter 76: The Offering Box (2)

The Offering Box reached the ground.

[The ‘Offering Box’ holy relic is beginning to assert its influence.]

[The ‘Offering Box’ holy relic calms the wind blowing in the ‘Hill of Blowing Wind’.]

[The ‘Offering Box’ holy relic heals all who are injured.]

[The ‘Offering Box’ holy relic eliminates all monsters.]

[The ‘Offering Box’ holy relic releases its pheromones.]

Thanks to the Offering Box’s effects, the wind disappeared, as did the monsters. All injuries were treated. But the battle was just beginning. We weren’t out of the woods yet.

Of course, Kim Taechun was among those who got up. He sniffed the air once like a dog, and his head slowly swiveled to Yoohyun.

And then, he said something I never would have guessed.

“That was a sexy punch. Hit me again, muscle daddy.”

The look of shock on Yoohyun’s face was probably mirrored by my own. “What the fuck?” he muttered. That was all the time he had before Taechun started charging towards him, roaring like an actual brown bear.

“LET ME FEEL THE COMMUNION OF OUR MUSCLES!” screamed Taechun. “Come! Become one with me!”

I thought back to the last notice from the Offering Box.

Regarding these pheromones, Yoohyun said this.

–What happened when the Offering Box reached the ground… is something I have blotted out of my memory.

Knowing this, I remained in the current of wind after defeating the Bigmouth Lizard, ready to bolt. It was a good call, because the next person to move was Yeonseo.

“Waifu!” she shouted, looking up at me as I floated next to the pillar. “WAIFU! The urge is too intense to control! I need you!”

‘Who’s your waifu?!’ I thought to myself, grimacing and trying not to panic. Thirty minutes. The pheromones of the Offering Box lasted just thirty minutes. That was how long I had to hold out. But why was she coming for me? Was it because I was her ‘boss’?

“Waifuuuuuu!” Yeonseo shouted, jumping up the current of wind. As expected of the future Sword Empress, she had sensed it, too. From the speed of her advance, she seemed to be using Heavenly Demonic Flying Step.

Shuddering, I readied myself, heightening Observer’s Eye to catch her every movement.

“Love love Yeonseo embraaaace!” she cried out, jumping towards me with her arms outstretched.

I instantly skirted past her and continued down the pillar, running like my life depended on it. Unfortunately, what awaited me below was more hell.

“FUCKING HELL, you’re so damn hot!” shouted Sung-gu, his eyes bloodshot. He tore through his shirt, baring his chest to the world. “Come, have some of this Vulcan god bod!”

I didn’t expect him to come after me too, but I was ready. I instantly put away my dagger and whipped out a fire extinguisher from my Inventory, pointing the nozzle at the half-naked Sung-gu and pulling the trigger. Sensing with Observer’s Eye that Yeonseo was about to reach me, I swiveled and sprayed her down too, hoping both of them would calm down.

To my despair, it only temporarily extinguished their flames of uncontrolled, pheromone-fueled passion, and another one joined the fray.

“FRIEEEED CHIIIIIIICKENNNNNN!”

Sunhwa was running towards me, drool flying behind her. What? Fried chicken? I wasn’t even the Colonel! Did I look like a giant drumstick right now?

Surrounded on all sides, I had no choice but to scream, “Senia!”

But there, too, was a problem.

“Player Kim Hyukjin,” the angel said, coming out of her transparent state, her face distinctly flushed. Her wings were trembling so much they were having a downright seizure. “What… what…”

What’s what?! Help me!

“What… is this wetness… down there?”

And with that, I knew she was dangerous, too.

Coughing, Yeonseo glared at her competitors, her face as white as mochi. “I called dibs on him first! You guys get your own dom daddy!”

“Fried… chicken…”

“Hot DAYUM, hit me with more of your white stuff!”

“Niagara… Falls… between the legs…”

“Hyungnim! Help! He won’t stop chasing meeeee!”

“AHOOGA AHOOGAA!”

It was utter mayhem. The other Players weren’t unaffected, either. Some of them were even grinding against the pillars, while others were engaging in… unspeakable non-PG acts with one another. The air itself pressed against us, thick and gooey somehow.

The members of my team stalked forward, lunging with their arms outstretched. I weaved around them, stepping away and ready to use any skill to evade their attacks. Sunhwa rushed towards me, hands opening and closing like fingers of a perverted old man.

“Fried chicken chicken chicken chicken. FRIED CHIIIICKEEEEEEEN.”

I whirled around, but that path was also cut off.

“It’s time to tango with the tigress,” Yeonseo said, licking her lips.

Out of nowhere, a gust of wind blew through the group. Sunghyun appeared before me, his eyes flashing with… something akin to a twosome between righteousness and desire. Before I could see his summary, he picked me up and bolted away from the claws of hell threatening to drag me into depravity.

“Oppa-ang,” he said, voice sickeningly sweet. “Don’t~you~worry. I’m here to save you.”

A quick glance at his summary had me clawing for escape.

The pheromones hadn’t spared this one either.

[The ‘Nameless Observer’ is observing carefully.]

[The ‘Whispering Devil’ sends you the Kama Sutra.]

[The ‘Lady of the Scales’ unleashes her inner fujoshi.]

[The ‘Courageous Lion King’ huffs and unzips.]

[The ‘True Master of the Heavenly Demonic Mountain’ says a true man does not reject hungry advances.]

And to make things worse, there was an audience of thirsty voyeurs up there.

I could feel it. The absolute greatest test of my talent so far. Could I escape with my virginal extract unsullied? Or would I become… a Max Lovers Player? While Sunghyun and I were whooshing through the air, I heard a notice that would determine the fate of this world.

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