Chapter 78

* * *Ganghwan threw on some soup stock over dried noodles, and crushed it up. Voila, a wonderful drinking food. The two of them started drinking at the park near the terminal. “So, what do you do?”“I act.”“Act? Why are you here, then?”“I need awareness if I want to act properly.”“So you’re saying that being homeless is helpful for you?”“Yes. I am playing a homeless person, after all.”“Haha. I see that my first impressions of you were right on the mark now.”“What did you think of me?”“I thought you were insane.”Ganghwan exploded into laughter after hearing that.“It was already strange to begin with, watching a young man like yourself come into our community. You looked very much alive as well. Er, it sounds a bit awkward with me saying this, but being homeless requires you to give up everything. Pride, face, power, everything. We have nothing, so we need to act like we have nothing. At that point, we can start to see if a person’s truly alive or not.”Mr. Kim was saying some scary things like it was normal to him. Ganghwan felt a bit apologetic after hearing this.“I’m not trying to blame you for anything, it was just a passing comment. Anyway, did you learn anything?”“Yes. I learned a lot.”“Good to know. Thank goodness you had something to learn from this hellhole.”“Hellhole’s a bit strong of a descriptor, isn’t it? I mean, this is still a place where people live.”Ganghwan poured Mr. Kim a full cup of makgeolli. After that, Mr. Kim started talking a lot about his life story. Even things he didn’t typically talk about were shared during their shared drinks. Every once in a while during the middle of a sentence, Mr. Kim would wipe off tears with his blackened hands.“You know now, Mr. Yang, that we aren’t like this because we want to be, right? If you look at the TV, everyone treats us like sinners. Like cockroaches that don’t even try to recover, and instead leech off of the donations that come their way. I want to say a few things to the people that complain about us. What do you know about us?! You bastards! I was a CEO too! I used to donate left and right! Did you know that? You bastards! But my factory went down. It was all my fault, so I have nothing to say. I have nothing to say...”Mr. Kim’s rage was heated, and at the same time, very desperate. The man, who never showed any anger in front of homeless people, was venting like he wanted to let out all of his frustrations on this one day. Ganghwan listened, and engraved those words in his head. By the time Mr. Kim finished talking, he’d broken down into tears. “Why are you crying, Mr. Yang?”“What, can’t I cry?”“Of course you can cry! As a matter of fact, I’m thankful that you’re crying for me!”Mr. Kim poured Ganghwan a cup of makgeolli with a jovial laughter.

* * *Miso headed to the theater with a single ticket in hand, the show was just about to begin. She was here to see a play by the name of ‘A Human’s Repayment’ and planned on visiting the dressing room before the play, but her tardiness led her to the audience seats. The entire theater was packed full with 300 people. Miso tried to get a ticket herself, but it was sold out within minutes on the internet. The ticket she had now was gifted to her by one of the cast members. “I wonder when Ganghwan will come out.”“Yeah.”Two girls, presumably in college, were whispering next to her. As Miso thought, Ganghwan was still as popular as ever. He was one of those eccentric actors who left a popular private theater to go to a no-name theater in a regional city. He made his name there for a while before getting scouted into a company in Seoul. From what she’s heard so far, all the big theater companies in Hyehwa station were trying to scout him right now.‘He was born to be successful.’A prodigy. That was the only word she could describe him with. But she wasn’t jealous. She knew how much he had to work to get to where he was now. As a matter of fact, she felt ashamed when she started comparing herself to him.‘He’s worked enough to deserve all that attention.’The man spent an insane amount of time practicing. As she spent a few minutes observing the stage, the lights went out. The sound of the wind blowing started coming from the speakers.The play was about to begin.

* * *Breathless. That was how Miso felt at this very moment. She was certain that this was shared by everyone else in the theater. This was a play for adults. Not in a sexual way, no. But in a violent way instead. Not a physical violence, but a mental one. The actors brutally acted out the cruelty of modern-day society, the cruelty that only humans were capable of.It was insane. The person who came up with the play, the people performing the play… They were all insane. Worst of all…The spotlight turned on, focusing on a single man.Car horns were blaring around him, and the sounds of people talking were being played all around them. Amongst all the noise, the man spoke a sentence that marked the climax of the entire play.“I saw a sentence written on a bridge on the Hangang river. ‘I want to go home’. Seeing that, my friend said he wanted to go home. Back to his wife and child. He said he wanted to go back.”The man stretched out his hands. They were trembling lightly.“Do you know what I thought? I saw those same words and thought, ‘I want to die.’ Those words that sounded so warm to you… were the same words that gave me this urge to throw myself off of that bridge.”The man kneeled, Miso could hear the girls next to him moan. They were absolutely taken by the play, by that actor on stage.“A failure. A loser. A nobody. That’s probably what you think of me. But know this, I didn’t become a failure on purpose.”The man slowly raised his head. His expression, a concoction of rage, loss, despair, fear, and… a silent call for help. He looked at the audience with this complicated expression.“You were… Just a little more lucky, compared to me. Remember this. You could be next. This cold, desperate hellscape could come to you, next. So I’ll pray for you. I’ll pray that you can survive when that moment comes.”The man fell backwards. Flop.And with that, the stage turned dark.