Chapter 45

Episode 45

Beautiful Fool

I sent all the servants out and said to Helena.

“Walk to me.”

Helena walked towards me slowly, but with her back straight as she had been taught. The long dress might be cumbersome, but she didn’t shake or falter.

As she approached me, I held out my palm to her Helena bowed her knees slightly to greet me and lightly placed her hand on it.

It was the last dance practice. Helena, who had become an expert at stepping in time with the beat, whispered to me.

“There was a time when I was envious of girls in gorgeous and beautiful clothes. Not only me, but all the children who were with me. It was my dream to dress up like that and dance like that at least once in my life.”

But as she spun around to my lead, she added with a somewhat bitter face.

“But now that I’ve experienced it, being beautiful is much more difficult and uncomfortable than I thought…… this sounds like a blessing, doesn’t it?”

Pulling her back towards me, I retorted.

“It has nothing to do with beauty.”

“Yes?”

“Decorating is laborious and inconvenient. People can be beautiful enough without decorating.”

Helena looked at me for a moment at those words, and then she fell silent in thought. We were dancing the same dance with different thoughts.

Who first created the expression beautiful? What did that person see and say was beautiful? Was it a person or a landscape? Or…… what kind of thing was it?

How much more should we be swept away by the standards of beauty that change with the flow of time?

The ball was just around the corner, so rather than teaching something new, I was reviewing what she had learned so far so as to not make a mistake. It was because the amount taught was so vast that it was easily forgotten or confused.

As the debutante ball approached, the nerves of Helena became sharper.

“I’ve prepared refreshments. May I come in for a moment?”

“Come in.”

The reason why we were not exploding was because there was a snack time that came out every now and then. If you take a rest while eating sweet snacks, you think about it again just before you are about to say harsh things.

It was for that reason that I shoved a horribly sweet Imperial Palace snack into my mouth, regardless of my taste. It was a sugar high.

The attendants were busy carrying tea and refreshments and displaying them on the table. Usually, to save face, I put them in my mouth until the servants stopped displaying it and left, but today, perhaps because I was particularly tired, I unknowingly laid my hands on the sweets. I picked up a mille feuille and took a bite, but it was like chewing, sand.

At first, I thought it was just the texture of the pastry, but the more I rolled my tongue, the clearer it was that it did not melt.

I lifted my eyes slightly and looked at Helena and saw that she was eating it deliciously without any change in expression. Who was the culprit?

Firstly, I casually took another bite of the sandy mille feuille. As I walked out the door, there was a child who slightly glanced at me. She was the one who put the sweets in front of me. I slowly lifted my finger.

“There you are, come here.”

“Yes? Me, me?”

“Yeah, you.”

I stood up slowly, waiting for the child I pointed at to come closer.

Looking down closely, I remembered who it was.

She was the kid who pushed me to the crown prince.

The child pretended to be calm, but kept staring at Helena from the corner of her eye. You have faith in something, don’t you?

As the child stood in front of me, I raised my arm high and slapped her in the face without mercy. At the same time as the ear-piercing sound, the skinny child fell to the floor without even screaming. The servants turned their heads in acknowledgment.

“Stand up.”

“Lady Misérian!”

At my command, the servants grabbed the child’s arms and made her stand up. Surprised, Helena stood up and approached me. With the child’s wrist held, she tried to resist stopping, and I said.

“Watch carefully. For when you become the Crown Princess. I will teach you how to deal with those who disrespect and mess with you.”

“Miss Helena!”

As the servant stared at Helena, 1 slapped her opposite cheek immediately. I hit it so hard that my hands were tingling. The servants brought up the child who stumbled and fell. I grabbed the child’s chin, whose cheeks were swollen red, and said,

“I don’t blame children. What do children know? Children learn and grow from their mistakes. When a child makes a mistake, it is the responsibility of the adult who taught them wrong.”

As I leaned down to meet her eyes, the child trembled and looked straight at me without averting her gaze. Either way, I gently stroked the child’s cheeks and continued.

“Why do you look down on me and chase Lady Antebellum? Because she’s nice to you? Or because you’re more scared of me? No, no… you’re looking behind Lady Antebellum. You’re being so arrogant to me because Her Majesty has her back.”

In my school days, I hated the so-called ‘Type of Person Who Sticks Next to a Good Girl and Shouts Loudly’.

This is because there is no sense of loyalty between followers who seek to gain something from you. They used to pretend to be close to those that were better than them, but when it reduced, they would change their attitudes and betray them.

Such was this child. Had Helena not been loved by Alecto, would this child have done such a big thing like this? No way. This child wasn’t really following Helena from her heart.

Just like the crown prince believed in her words and slapped me on the cheek, she was just enjoying the ‘supreme power’ that came from the by-product of someone’s love and hatred. (QC/N: cross reference to chapter 2.)

How fun would that be? With one simple word from you, your naughty boss gets screwed.

“You know, I forgive children for everything, but knowing the advantage of power and weighing it… That’s not the way a child should think.”

Helena grabbed my wrist and stopped me as I raised my hand to hit her cheek again. As she looked at me without a word, she spoke stern words, trembling.

“Don’t, don’t, Lady Misérian.”

“…..Let me tell you, it’s your responsibility that this kid is so arrogant.”

“Yes, it’s my responsibility, so stop hitting her.”

Being nice is a disease at this point. Is it an angel complex or what? There is a stark difference between being nice and being a good person, but when there is such a person, it is the people around them who are upset rather than the person involved. It’s not like can develop her eye for people….

“Haa, Lady Antebellum. Judge the people around you. Make sure you know if they are on your side because they really like you, or if they’re on your side because they want to rip you off.”

“It’s okay to nibble on it. It’s okay to eat it. So…”

The trembling stopped. Even the fear that often remained on her face was erased. Just as a person who had made up their mind usually does, there was only clear determination on her dazzling face.

“Don’t recklessly use violence against anyone. If you don’t feel good, you’re welcome to slap me on the cheek today. But promise me you’ll never raise your hand again after today.”

“… Do you dare to advise me?”

“On that day, the day Lady Misérian foolishly left what was right for His Highness, I swore to God that I would

never make the same mistake again. No reason can justify violence.”

Helena whispered in a suppressed voice.

“Lady Misérian told me.”

I narrowed my eyes and looked at Helena. Maybe Helena is attacking me because she has ‘power’, or maybe it’s because I don’t have as much power as her prince.

Then I laughed at myself.

This damn sense of inferiority was like a seizure every now and then. I knew better than anyone that Helena could not be such a great person. Because I am the only person in the world who had looked into her brain.

Helena bit her lip and looked down at the child.

“There should be a more reasonable punishment rather than violence.”

“For example?”

“…I’ll tell the maid to let this child go.”

“Miss Helena! No! I made a mistake. If I am punished, I’d stand it. I’d rather be beaten! But please don’t kick me out!”

The child crawled and clung to Helena’s feet, but Helena was waiting for my permission without looking down until the end. How can the difference be from one to ten? I was a little surprised.

I have rarely endured it because I have a bad personality. Talking back was normal, and if I was hit by someone, I had to double it with my own hands to relieve my anger.

I didn’t mind being blamed for being immoral. From my experience, morality usually does not solve injustice.

When I was hit by the crown prince, I honestly tried to hit him the same. He tried to run away quickly, which was why he stopped talking.

“Do whatever you want.”

If you’re more afraid of being kicked out than being hit, you should. The child screamed and was caught by the attendants and dragged away.

Watching this, I prepared to go back. I felt dirty and didn’t want to stay here any longer.

“….Should I eat it all?”

You’re the only one who’s good. You’re the only one who’s elegant, and you’re the only one who’s clean. Did I tell you? This is ridiculous. It’s just by nature. You’re a fool by nature, and I’m mean and give you a different answer.

Anyone can tell it’s childish. I am angry because I am ashamed of myself for rationalizing that I am not a child because I am clever.

“Those who love you will be sad to hear that statement, Helena Antebellum.”

I’m sick of your self-sacrifice. Even more so knowing your sincerity.