Chapter 35

Episode 35: Gift

I felt like I ruined the long-awaited outing, so I bowed my head, as if I was a sinner.

“Raise your head.”

I had to immediately raise my head again at her stern command. Although I couldn’t make eye contact with her and rolled my eyes.

“I’m not blaming you, Chloe. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Daria stroked my head with a short sigh.

“You know it’s not your fault, right?”

“…..Yes.”

Daria smiled satisfactorily as I nodded calmly.

“I think I’ve achieved some of my goals here anyway, so let’s go back now.”

Daria turned around and looked at the young ladies huddled in front of the door. The ladies who received her attention immediately scattered.

On the way back in the carriage, a word lingered in my head the entire time.

‘A substitute…..’

Did Kailos really find someone else to replace me? Then I……. What the hell was I?

There was no way to soothe my depressed mood for a while. Even after returning to the Imperial Palace, the last words of Marquis Rosaline lingered in my head.

‘Because Kyle has already found a substitute for you.’

My existence was something that could be replaced so easily. My efforts to become the woman he wanted were so pathetic that I kept crying.

I thought I wouldn’t cry anymore because of him, but I still cried.

But this wasn’t crying because of that man. My existence is pitiful, pitiful, pitiful…… Those tears were shed for Chloe Garnet in her last life, who was infinitely foolish.

‘She’s going to stop soon, just leave her alone.’

Daria coldly told Vestie, who was looking at how I felt, because this was a problem that I had to overcome alone.

I sat by the window and looked out the window. Chloe Garnet, in the past, had never sat by the window and looked up at the night sky like this. Just living day by day was daunting.

I couldn’t do anything of my own will except to be the woman he wanted, the woman he needed, the woman he expected.

The only thing I had embraced with my will was my love for him, but even that was no longer love.

Why didn’t anyone let me know that it was wrong at that time?

With a sigh, I lowered my gaze, below me an unusually large tree caught my eye.

‘I was looking at the guards of the Imperial Palace.’

I remembered I had encountered Raymond there.

He was the first person to ask me for my happiness. The man who dropped his sword only for me and chose the path of destruction himself, he was also the father of my child.

I wanted my little Estelle to resemble him rather than me. One woman like me was enough in this world.

Come to think of it, he too, like me, lost Estelle.….

That thought suddenly heated up my heart. Although he doesn’t know, he also lost Estelle.

“…….”

My mind went blank. I rather hoped that all the tragedy had never happened to him. I’ll carry all the sadness.

‘Are you looking at the guards today?’

I thought casually and smiled. It was that moment, I took a step through the dark shadows and made eye contact with Raymond, who had appeared.

One second, two seconds, three seconds…….

“……!”

Recognizing the situation belatedly, I immediately closed the curtain and turned around.

Thump, Thump, Thump, Thump

My heart beat fast like a child caught doing something bad. I was embarrassed because I felt like I gave my heart to him by thinking of him just now.

How long had he been standing like that? I slipped to the floor with a low sigh. I leaned my back against the cold wall and put my knees together.

“I feel like an idiot….”

I could have just greeted him as if I was okay. I was worried about how I could look at him if I met him again. I was angry at my wariness, which made it difficult to even greet him.

When I stood up again and looked out the window, he was no longer there.

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“I can’t wait forever just because you are depressed. Have you already made up your mind to go out in front of people?”

Daria once declared that she would hold a ball at the Imperial Palace on her upcoming birthday.

“You’re so cold-hearted! Chloe needs some more rest!”

Vestie protested for me, but Daria lightly ignored her and asked me, “Do you need more time, Chloe?”

“No, it’s okay.”

Daria was right. Just sitting down like this is what they wished to happen.

“Have you ever attended the ball?”

“Yes.”

A New Year’s ball held in the Imperial Palace, I first met Raymond there. It’s a memory that has become a long time ago for me, but it must have been only a month ago for them.

“I’m going to invite Grand Duke Ludwig this time. Will you be okay?”

I was shaken for a moment when Kailos’ name came out, but I immediately responded with strength.

“Yes, you can.”

“It’s courageous. Very good.”

Daria smiled and nodded. She said she would be busy preparing for the ball for a while.

I had to make up my mind to greet Kailos calmly as if nothing had happened, so that I wouldn’t be surprised or embarrassed if I ran into him again for a short period of time.

Although the Duchy was the closest land to the capital, Kailos had never had a ball while he was the Grand Duke. So I was amazed by the whole process of preparing for the ball.

‘I had no idea one had to go through so many steps to prepare a ball.’

‘This ball is rather small. Only a small number of people will be invited.  But as nobles from prestigious families will come as the distinguished guests, nothing should be neglected.’

Daria put me next to her and informed me of the preparation process of the ball, in detail, one by one. She even asked Mrs. Gemma, another maid of hers, to explain everything.

‘When you first learn something, you have to learn it properly. Wouldn’t that be helpful later on?’

I wondered if the things I learned this time would be useful in my life in the future, but I had to put my doubts aside soon. The pouring work did not give me time to think.

Mrs. Gemma praised me for learning quickly.

Looking back, I think I was good at everything I learned. It was due to the habit of the past, in which I wanted to receive Kailos’ attention.

The wreckage left by Kailos, which popped out like this, made me determined to work hard to heal my heart.

And finally, it was the day of the ball. Early in the morning, I couldn’t get over my tension and wandered around the room.

Will I be able to do it well? Can I not be shaken in front of Kailos? Can I greet him calmly as if nothing had happened and as if we were no longer in a relationship?

While I was biting my lower lip without realizing it, I heard a small knock.

“What’s happened?”

When I opened the door, the emperor’s attendant was standing there holding a small jewelry box.

“It is a gift from His Majesty the Emperor.”

“His Majesty…..?”

Carefully taking the box and opening the lid, I found a necklace with an understated but delicately crafted glass grain.

Inside the transparent glass grain, three red petals cast an elegant figure.  Next to it was a single red flower with the same petals.

“This is…”

“Astaroth flower. It is the only flower that can only be seen in the Imperial Palace greenhouse on the continent.”

I laughed a hearty sound.

“Yes, it’s Astaroth.”

The red flower, the symbol of the empire, was also a flower that I knew well. I slowly closed my eyes and recalled that day.

‘So, Chloe. I……’

What did I talk about with him? The faint afterimage was foggy and blurry, so I couldn’t think of it well.

The sadness I received from Kailos remains so unforgettable, but why are my memories with him so faint? Why didn’t I cherish my memories with Raymond?

‘you…..I wish I could.’

However, I only remembered that Raymond, who was holding this red flower and glanced at me, was very impressive.

I looked at the flower with gloomy eyes for a moment and raised my head.

“Please say thank you to His Majesty.”

The chieftain smiled softly and nodded his head. I gently swept the red astarot flower whose value exceeds a lot of jewels, my heart calmed down.

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Finally, at sunset and the ball began, Vestie went out for a walk with Duke Caroline, who came to escort her.

I was going to be attending the ball tonight, with Mrs. Gemma’s cousin, young lord Count Vincent, who would be my partner.

“Hello, Lady Garnet.  Thank you for giving me the honor to be with you tonight, my lady”

Mr. Vincent, who I encountered in the empty parlor of the Empress’ Palace, was a very decent man, but he was also a man who could not be my partner, according to my status. I blushed in embarrassment and shook my head.

“I’m grateful for that. How dare I be a partner of the young lord without Mrs. Gemma?”

Then he burst into low laughter and looked at me.

“You don’t remember me. I already expected it when I met you.”

I was surprised to hear his voice of regret and asked, “Have we met before?”

“We danced together at the New Year’s ball. Don’t you remember?”

“Ah…”

To be honest, I didn’t remember.

I was so distracted that day. There was no time to think about anything else due to the meeting with Raymond and the disappearance of Kailos and Miss Rosaline in the middle of the ball. And also it is a distant past for me now.

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